Monday, April 24, 2017

Beauty Blender.... Balls

First, I cannot believe I'm writing this, and second I cannot believe this was something that someone actually did.

Yes, a girl posted a video on twitter of herself using her boyfriend's testicles as a beauty blender.  For my lovely men readers, a beauty blender is a sponge that helps put on makeup and makes sure the makeup is blended.  Picture proof to the left

My only thought is that the video was posted on twitter at 9:00pm, so hopefully one or both of them were drunk at the time, but 9 pm - even on a Saturday night is a bit early.  Obviously, this is a NSFW video, but if you need proof, check it out...

https://twitter.com/punkzillaa/status/855994744501133312/video/1

They already have over 27K retweets and 39K likes (and counting.)

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Dating is hard.

Yes, it's been a long ass time since I've written on here.  That's for many reasons.... I'd like to say it was because I was not single (i.e. in a relationship), but that's not quite the case.  I was "dating" a man who I thought was dating me.  Turns out, I was the other woman.  Yes, I was THAT woman.  But before you all hate on me, I didn't know.  Yes, there were signs, but I got really good at justifying them.  And all that he said indicated that there wasn't anyone else.  I also allowed him way too much leeway and justified many of his actions  to myself.  Stupid.  Yes, I feel stupid.

But, it's been MONTHS since facebook fatefully suggested I "friend" his girlfriend.  Long story, but I instantly was done.

I've also gone through some serious life changes, the loss of a beloved dog after 12 years of blood, tears, and fur - lots and lots of fur.  I also changed jobs - got a large raise, more flexibility, and less "overtime"... until recently, as work as ramped up like crazy again.  Working  7 days a week is not for the wicked.

But, back to the topic at hand.  Dating is hard.  Dating in DC is harder.  Dating at 36 in DC is nearly impossible.  I've tried nearly every website and dating app known to (wo)man.  And it nearly follows the same roadmap -- you meet someone on app/website, exchange pleasantries on the app, move up to exchanging phone numbers, text nearly constantly for days or weeks, finally schedule that first date, first date seems to go decently enough, follow up with a text thank you, and then a few very awkward texts follows... and either you and he drops contact.  It's all over except the fat lady singing (and you don't want me to sing - I'm tone deaf).

And that roadmap is ONLY the case when you actually get to actually have that first date.  Often the constant texting ends up in a first date set; first date is cancelled for small reason, and texting wains off until you get the Dear John text.

What the hell does it take to actually find someone worthy of your time, someone you actually would rather enjoy being with?  I sure don't know - and if anyone else does... let me know.

I'll try to get back to blogging again, we shall see.  As we all know, my content tended on the sexual side and that gave some gentlemen an impression of me that isn't 100% true.  We shall see where it goes from here.  All I know is that I do miss writing.