Man-gagement Rings

Within the last week, a news report was released that Michael Buble (one of my favorite artists/singers, whatever the hell you want to call him) wears a man-gagement ring .  He is currently engaged to Argentinian actress Luisana Loreley Lopilato de la Torre.  The custom in Argentina is for men to also wear an ring during the engagement period before marriage.  There are other details about the ring changing from silver to gold when the marriage happens, and moving from the left to the right hand.  But all those are just silly little details, and are beside the point. 

How do I feel about all of this?  Hell yeah!  This could be the most awesome thing ever.  Personally the first thing I look for on a man is his left hand - ring finger.  A man could be casually walking by me, and literally I look down at his hands first.  If there is a a ring on his finger I don't give him a second look, other than to appreciate his manliness (because I definitely appreciate the manly form!  If you are a woman who doesn't - then we need to have a large discussion.  As far as sexual attraction to that man with a ring - I'm moving on.  I don't touch an attached man.  So how great would it be if any engaged man also wore a ring symbolizing his engagement.  I would also know he's off limits!  It would same me tons of time - daydreaming time of course!!

Hell - I would even be happier if any man who had a girlfriend wore some kind of sign, or maybe a name tag.  Something like - "Hello, I'm fucking someone else - please do not flirt with me!"  That would be my dream.  And probably every attached man's worst nightmare.  But this is about me, so I don't give a shit about them.  Besides, if any man is upset about losing these opportunities they probably shouldn't be in a relationship anyway!!!


Not that I'm an overall a big "going out girl", and I don't see that many men out and about, but if I do - I really don't want to waste my time on those guys who are attached - whether they are just seriously dating or engaged - that's bullshit.  I just want to see the single guys and have them readily accessible to me, just the same way women are to them (Men can always tell how women are attached by their rings!)  I just want those single guys to be readily accessible!  So lets make them easy to find!

- Rings for married guys = GOOD!
- Rings for engaged guys = GOOD!
- Name tags for single, attached guys = GOOD!

The Mirror Picture

Some call it the "Myspace Mirror Shot," Some call it, just the "Mirror shot."  I call it stupid.  What it is... is easy - someone feels the need to take a picture of them self - right now - and they are alone.  They take a camera - or more recently a camera phone look in the mirror and hold it to their side and take a picture.  See the example to the right. 

This mirror picture runs rampant in the online dating world - especially in those free sites that I prefer (because as many of you know - I'm a cheap ass!).  I'm not really sure how man could possibly think that taking a picture in a mirror is sexy. Especially with a background of a bathroom.  Because you know nearly 95% of these pictures are taken in the bathroom with a background of a shower/toilet or some other strange bathroom background.  It's just not hot.  

Even worse, is the guy who takes the picture with  the flash half obstructing the view of this face.  (I particularly like this picture where the mirror is so dirty that the flash highlights all the nasty spots and further distorts his face!)  When you can barely see the guy's face how are you able to discern if you like the way he looks or not? 

Then, there is the guy who takes the picture shirtless - trying to show off his "assets".  Just annoying. 

I often wonder why this all bothers me so much.  It's really just another picture.  I think it comes down to one thing - laziness.  I have to say that the majority of the pictures I have seen are with a digital camera - you know the ones that have a setting with a timer.  That wonderful setting will allow you to set the camera on a solid surface - walk away and within seconds the camera will take a picture - all you have to do is stand in front of it - you won't look like such a douche bag taking a picture of yourself.  On the other hand, it also looks like you aren't serious enough to have "real" pictures.  It looks like you just walked into the bathroom, snapped a picture, and then posted it online.  How many people do you know that don't have pictures of themselves by themselves or with others?  If they don't have those pictures - isn't that a little iffy? 

Now after this ragging on men - I must be fair...  Women are NOT immune to this mirror picture disease.  In fact - women are just as bad.  These bitches out there are taking pictures half naked, naked, etc.  It's embarrassing.  What are they thinking.  Wait, I know what they are thinking - and it's embarrassing!  Again, don't people understand that it would be a hell of a lot more sexy if they weren't holding a freaking camera?  Umm yeah....

*** FYI, all pictures obtained for this posting were obtained through google!  So these dumb asses have made these pictures available to the world through the world wide web ***

Facebook and Linking Philosophy....

So, the plan from here on out for this blog is easy, well for me at least.... 

1.  If the post is "clean" - enough so that I'm not embarrassed that my coworkers/family read it - I will link it directly on facebook. 

2.  If the post is "not so clean"... I won't be linking it directly on facebook. 

That way, those who want to still read the blog and are only reminded to when they see a post on facebook can do so.  But it will still "protect" me because the not so clean posts will not be directly linked up there on facebook. 

Enjoy, and keep reading and pass this on to your friends :)

L

And big boobs...

And since we are on the subject of big things... lets talk about boobs.  Unlike the bulges in Mr. Banana Republic's pants - Big Boobs are an acceptable thing to show off. 

I'm not a very "big" girl.  In that I mean, I'm not very tall - I'm maybe 5'1" on a good day with shoes on.  Granted, I'm packing a few extra pounds here and there - ok, maybe more than a few.  But, my boobs are huge in comparison to the rest of me.  I'm a 36DD.  Hell, it looks like I have two serious baby heads stuck to my chest.  They would look unnatural if they weren't a little bit uneven and jiggly like natural boobs.

And let me tell you - I can't hide these suckers.  And that leads me to my real issue. 

I am a professional and work in a professional field - and that profession is not hooking nor stripping.  In both those jobs big boobs would be an asset.  In my field - not so much.  Instead, working in a male dominated field - people stare.  Men stare a lot.  And I mean a lot.  I can wear anything and they will look.  And the bitch of it is that I can wear things that other women wear and still look indecent.  One day I wore a nice cardigan and camisole combination only to be told by a coworker that my boobs looked incredible that day.  Umm, thanks?  But this is the workplace and I'm not supposed to be noticed for my boobs - I'm supposed to be noticed for my superior intellect and my excellent work ethic! 

After hours the "girls" can come out to play, that great.  But at work, it would be nice to hide them.  But even completely covered they still provide huge mounds for the guys to oogle.  I've just come to accept that.  And as much as I probably could use it to my advantage - I don't.... in the workplace that is.  Personally, you better believe I do - but that's a whole different story!

Big Bulges

I'm all about what a guy is packing in his pants.  It's great to unwrap that package the first time and see what he's going to give me.  It's like my first special gift. 

Now, I like that gift to be a little bit of a surprise.  Yes, there is always a bit of a hint if he gets a bit "excited" and you feel that little (or not so little) bulge.  But I don't want to see an outline through his pants. 

Imagine flipping through Banana Republic's online catalog and finding a great pair of pants for your significant other - only to be greeted with a big ol' not so hidden surprise.  Umm yeah, they can photoshop TONS of weight off women - but apparently we leave obviously huge penis's in plain view. 

The lost art of the English Language

Anyone who has read this blog knows I don't always write in full sentences or even full thoughts.  I fully admit I'm not a English scholar (Although I did take a year of grammar in college just for fun!), but I really do have a problem with the current misuse of English.  With that I mean the shorthand that everyone uses as a result of the advent of text messaging. 

Don't get me wrong, I understand the limits of text messaging and understand when you need to cut down on some letters and words to fit the character limit.  But texting is one thing... everyone else is something different!  This shorthand has filtered into everyday life.  EVERYWHERE.  It really bothers me when I get an email that I have to decipher words that are shortened and acronyms that make no sense.  I already have to live in a work word full of too many damn acronyms.  But these emails are often coming to my work account and these are actually work emails!  Seriously, kids (and they usually are the young kids that have grown up in the world of text messages and IM's) learn how to write in full sentences! 

And it's not just text messages.  When did all these weird, strange phrases come into existence?  For instance, "That's what she said."  As the "phrase of the day" men, and even some women use it as a come back to anything.  It's the universal zinger meant to put you in your place.  Let me tell you - it does nothing by annoy me.  let me tell you - by using that phrase you are neither witty or cleaver.  In fact you are just showing me that you are a follower who has nothing interesting to say.  And honestly, it annoys the fuck out of me.  Even more annoying is when you shorten it to TWSS.  Yes, the acronym.  Like you didn't have the actual energy to type it out or even say it that you had to just use the initials - really?  Work on something new - or move on to someone new, because I'm not going to put up with it anymore.

My problem is usually that most men that use the abomination of the English language know better.  They are educated men with higher education - often advanced degrees from highly accredited colleges and universities.  What is it that forces them to use this bastardized English?  Pure laziness.  It doesn't give me a good impression of what they will be in other areas of their life.

I don't care about small instances of shortcuts with English - I use them too.  Lots of dashes, short choppy sentences that aren't really full sentences.  But the real question is if you can actually interchange these small errors with the "correct" English.  If you cannot at all, then you better move on, because you are just going to drive me batty, and that's not pretty.

Men and babies (or kids)

This is a bit embarrassing to admit (what am I saying - after ALL that I admitted on this blog...) but I have a thing for men with babies and kids.  I've probably already said this on this blog before.  But yesterday as I was waiting for my lunch at Noodles (another one of my obsessions), I watched as this beautiful black man got his toddler (maybe 1 year old) ready for lunch.  He was so good to the little kid.  He got him chop sticks to play with and when the kid threw one on the floor, he quickly picked it up and gave it back before the kid could even mutter a cry.  He even had a little toy truck out.  Umm yeah.  You could just tell the guy cared - you can't fake that. 

Rewind to a couple of weeks ago, another food establishment.  My brother and I are out for a fancy dinner at none other than CiCi's All you can eat Pizza Buffet.  Granted, the clientele there is different, but there is no reason for a man to treat his child any different.  But as we were sitting there, a man left his kid (roughly 7?) who proceeded to yell across the restaurant gibberish.  The man completely ignored the kid, even when he came back to the table.  I thought it was a classic case of the dad having the kid for the weekend, until I saw the dad still had a wedding ring on - damn - I wonder if the dad treats the kid like that all the time.

I'm not on a quest to find a man with a kid - I really don't want a ready made family.  But I do want a man who knows his way around a kid (wait, that sounded really bad - almost pedophile like!!!).  What I meant is that I want a man who knows how to treat kid!  A man who could be man #1, and not man #2.  If I meant a man that treated kids like #1, especially kids that weren't his own - my pants would be dropping.  I'd be an easy target.  So men out there - if you read this blog.  Know how to treat kids well - don't be fake, just be nice to kids.  Most girls will like it, at least most nice girls.  The girls that don't like it - either aren't worth it, or are just skanks anyway.  You shouldn't want them anyway.