Mid 30's and still single, what's wrong with you?

So... I've always had a thought in my head, when you are mid 30's or god forbid 40s and still single what does that mean?  My gut reaction is that unless you have a very good reason (divorce serving in the peace corps, a super heavy concentration on a very demanding career, a series of long relationships that just didn't work out, etc) there is something inherently wrong with you...

Then I realize, shit... I'm turning 34 at the end of this month and I'm still single.  I am not divorced, didn't spend any time in the peace corps (or military) serving overseas, don't have that spectular of a career, and haven't had many long term relationships.  Does that make me one of the problems?  I hope to think not, but ...

If I meet someone like me, who is still single at my age (or older), I will still judge them.  Good or bad.  I think it's just part of the judging process, much like anything else is.  I just can't help myself.  Can you?

The dangers of online dating

So, after a short but very intense relationship that sadly ended (boo hoo!), I'm back in the dating game.  Good or bad, I'm not a big fan of the beginning stages of dating.  It's absolutely exhausting trying to see if you and the potential guy have enough in common to actually go out, and after that if you have enough in common to actually continue dating.  All of the pictures here are actual emails I've gotten in the past couple of days. 






I find online dating the easiest for me.  It's all about volume, you can browse a huge number of guys in a short amount of time.  Hell, you can take a 5 (or 30) min break at work and find a couple potential suitors.  I prefer to like/wink/star and play the passive aggressive route.  But if I see a good ad I might take the couple of minutes to come up with a decent response.  But it's such a drag if you spend a good amount of time coming up with a cute, attractive and witty message and you don't get any response. 

But, saying all of that.... I want to pass along a couple of my pet peeves. 


1. If I say "x" is a deal breaker, don't email me and ask if it's OK.  I have only a small handful of deal breakers.

2. Please write in coherent thoughts and sentences. And DO not use texting short hand - most of us have smart phones so even if you are on your phone you have a full QWERTY keyboard.  I'm not asking for complete and 100% correct grammar - but if I need to ask a teenager to translate your message, you might want to rethink your apprach
 
3. Your online pictures should not include the following: a wedding ring, a significant other, only "parts" of your body, or your head cut off.  And seriously... don't send a "message" with a dick pic, and ONLY a dick pic.  I'm not sure that's ever worked and yet many guys continue to do it. 
 
4. Please be age (+/- 10 years is almost acceptable) and geographically appropriate (>an hours drive, and that's PUSHING it).  Telling me you "travel" to the area often or are willing to relocate is kind of creepy.
 

5. Do not be offended if someone doesn't respond right away. Desperation is not sexy.   Believe it or not, I might be online dating, but that doesn't mean I'm on my computer all the time. 

6. If you aren't interested in the person, or feel the need to make fun of them, just don't send the email, ok?

Anyone have any others?

How much do you like those nuggets?

I love me some McDonald's chicken Mcnuggets.  Yes, they are amazing.  Give me an order of nuggets and some sweet and sour sauce and I'll be a happy camper.  I might even do anything for those nuggets.  Sounds like I have something in common with Khadijah Baseer.

Ms. Khadijah who lives in Los Angeles was just arrested just trying to get her beloved McNuggets.  Did she try to steal them?  Nope, She stood outside the drive-through and offered blow job's for an order of McNuggets.  I really hope she was offering the BJ for the 20 pack and not just the measly 4 nugget Happy Meal portion.  Although that does bring a whole new definition to "Happy Meal"

Did she get her nuggets before getting arrested?  Nope... Poor woman!  All she got was a misdemeanor solicitation charge.

Instructional videos for kink.

I'm a huge fan of BuzzFeed. Like huge fan.  I can go on the website and literally get sucked in for hours.  And don't even get me started on how many damn links from there I share on my facebook page - my friends must get annoyed... but it's SO good.  That would be my dream job - to search the internet for random shit to post... oh wait, I do that here - and you people don't even pay me for it!

Anyway, I happen to click on a link with the title, "9 Ways To Tell Them What You Really Want"  It's all and good, but nothing earth shattering.  Until I came across #4 Don't Be Ashamed about How you Feel.  The topic isn't all that great, but the website they shared was....

Did you know that there is a website out there called Kink Academy.  Apparently Kink Academy is website with "More than 1093 videos, over 100 educators, available 24/7."  

I was thinking that I was going to come across some kind of weird sex video website.  But no, Kink Academy is like sex education for adults.  There are all kinds of instructional videos for all the following:

Kink: BDSM, Dominance & submission, Rope Bondage, Mind Fucks, Impact Play, Play Piercing, Erotic Embarrassment, Forced Orgasm, Chastity, Electricity Play, Caning, Sado-Masochism, Corset Training, Spanking, Strap-On Sex, Violet Wand

Relationships: Polyamory, Swinging, Communication, Gender Awareness, 24/7 BDSM Relationships, Fantasy Exploration, Play Party Etiquette, Understanding Boundaries, Sex & Disability, Building Confidence
Sensuality: Massage & Sensual Touch, Kissing, Strap-On Play, Energetic Sex, Sensation Play, Body Language, Group Sex, G-Spot Play, Masturbation, Flirting, Body Worship, Genital Massage, Anal Sex

Health & Wellness: Anatomy for BDSM, Safer Sex Practices, Aging & Intimacy, Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, Legal Concerns for Various Lifestyles, Risk Awareness

So.... if you are interested in any of the kinky stuff - why not look up some videos and learn the "right" way. 

Bad date stories; this email account does not exist

So. This has happened to me more times than I care to admit. You spend a couple of days emailing back and forth with a guy and think, "wow. This guy is great. I hope it works out". Only to find one day when you shoot him an email and get the automated response that your email has been returned because that email account does not exist. No matter how many times it happens it still stings. Was it me? No. I'm sure it was most likely him. He was probably just cheating with a fake email or something similar

Cock shots, penis pics ....

So. I'm a fan of online dating whether it is Craig's list, okcupid or plenty of fish. I'm not a fan of the websites you have to pay for because somehow that seems desperate. But on those websites and especially from CL guys tend to love sending you pictures of their junk. And usually as one of the very first emails. Is this kosher? I'm starting to think I need to start another blog with just penis pics I get via inline personals. And of course those that were not asked for. What do you think??

Cock shots, penis pics ....

So. I'm a fan of online dating whether it is Craig's list, okcupid or plenty of fish. I'm not a fan of the websites you have to pay for because somehow that seems desperate. But on those websites and especially from CL guys tend to love sending you pictures of their junk. And usually as one of the very first emails. Is this kosher? I'm starting to think I need to start another blog with just penis pics I get via inline personals. And of course those that were not asked for. What do you think??