The Dating Workaholic

So.... I'm a workaholic.  Recently I had gone through a bit of a reformation - I wasn't working more than 9 hours a day - and not even working at home **gasp **! 

But then the latest project hit, and the last month of so I have been back in my groove.  You might argue, groove is a bit of a positive term.  And I have to agree.  I feel better when I'm being a workaholic.  When I'm in the "lazy" mode, I'm super lazy - I don't do shit.  But in workaholic mode - I'm on, really ON.  I'm a bit addicted.  Yes, it's kind of sad. 

Now, if you saw my hours in the office, you might not think of me as a workaholic.  Especially as of late.  I've been going in at 9, and leaving around 5.  I can hear you out there - how can someone who does the 9-5 be a workaholic?  Well, I will answer you!  I work a GREAT deal at home.  Being a silly mother of two dogs I have to be home to make sure they don't completely destroy my house.  So the remaining 4-6 hours per night I do at home on the couch. 

OK, all that is the opening to the real reason behind this post.  How does one workaholic date?  Well....  you got me!  I don't go out a whole lot.  Sometimes I do Happy Hours (HH) with my friends, but I very rarely meet people at those.  I also spend a great deal of time at the dog park - and let me tell you, it's not the pick up spot you read about in COSMO.  I go there dirty, I'm dealing with the dogs, and I can't carry on a conversation because I have to watch the dogs.  Besides the fact that most people have dogs because there are "testing out the waters" with a puppy in a relationship.  So what does that leave me?  Of course - two options that I see.... dating those I work with and online dating.

Dating at work is apparently looked up very negatively.  It, of course, has positives and negatives!  Positives - hello!!  You get to see that person all the time.  You know who they are before you start dating.  Negatives, you will still have to see them after you break up even if it goes badly!    Also, there can be a lot of gossip.  I've gone out on a date or two with a coworker, but never had a serious relationship with a coworker - but I'm not against it.  Now, the men I work with feel VERY differently.  Maybe it's just the guys I work with, but maybe it's men in general.  They are highly against this dating in the workplace thing. 

Now we all know about my affinity for online dating.  It's a workaholic's wetdream.  You can browse personals during a short work break.  You can shoot off a quick email and even have email conversations at work (during BREAKS - of course!!) with potential dates.  The only issue is actually scheduling dates into the busy schedule.  Of course, this way I weed out to the weasels and only go out with the guys with actual potential (very few!) and cut off email conversations with the duds (very many!) first. 

But, if anyone has better advice, I'd love to know it.  And if that advice is kill the workaholic ways - umm yeah, I don't want to hear it :)  Workaholicism has gotten me where I am today.  Maybe if I meet someone who is worth it, I'll change, but in the meantime it brings home the bacon (or takeout).

Long Absenses!

Yes, I apologize.  It's been awhile since I've written anything on this blog.  My next post will explain.  Of course - this doesn't make much sense because I'm writing that post next but you will read that post first.  Oh well, who cares.  I've been working a great deal and haven't had time to write - for fun.  It's literally work, walk the dogs, sleep.  Hell, I even let my house get so nasty that I didn't even want to be here/there/where ever.

So excuse me, I'm sorry.  Please keep reading. 

Diamonds are a girls best friend.

Long ago I decided that if I wanted something I had to get it for myself.  I wasn't going to depend on a man to get it for me.  I guess what I'm going to say right now is a bit of an oxymoron to that first sentence - but live with it.  When I was turning 18 I foolishly kept saying that all I wanted for my birthday was diamonds.  Yes, diamonds at 18.  You know what?  The best man in my life - my dad - bought me diamonds!  A little flower shaped ring with a Sapphire center and diamonds as pedals.  Still to this day I wear that ring nearly every day.  I'm sure my parents thought they were foolish - buying a complete klutzy, messy girl, a diamond ring.  But let me tell you, I cherish that ring. 

Now, I'm turning 30 (in just over a month and a half - take notes please!).  I think it's again diamond time.  Now, I've just taken care of my own diamond purchases as bought a very nice watch with diamonds around the bezel. 

So, for those who are keeping track - Dad?  My brother? I think diamonds are again in order for my birthday.  Thank you.  You may now return to your regularly scheduled program. 

Anonymous ....

I originally started out this blog thinking it would be anonymous.  Well, all that flew out the window when I started linking the postings on my facebook and twitter pages.  I had to be real, without linking to for my friends to see no one was going to read it.  Very few people would "accidentally" come across my random musings.  I can't fool myself to think someone would actually give two shits about what I say/write - even if I fool myself to thinking it's important. 

Now, if you've read my postings they aren't always the most appropriate for all readers.  Think bosses - family members - small children -- all of which are my friends on facebook.  This makes me a bit nervous.  I have questioned if I should continue to link the blog postings to facebook at all.  If I do this - you, my loyal or not so loyal (you better become loyal damn it!) readers would have to bookmark this and remember to visit on a semi regular basis to see updates.  You could alternatively "become a fan." 

It's just something I'm considering to venture more into anonymous territory.  Let me know your thoughts, opinions on the matter.

Practice Makes Perfect

I'm not a fan of one night stands.  I know you've thinking, no shit - you are a girl!  But I'm not sure my reasoning is quite the norm.  Typically, people don't like the one night stands because they are cheap, you feel used, blah, blah.  Of course, I don't like them for those reasons also.  I'm not a cold hearted bitch (although some people might argue that - we just don't talk to those people!)

My reason that I don't like one night stands is simple.... practice makes perfect.  And in a one night stand - no matter how far you go, from just kissing to "all the way," you just can't fully explore your partners likes and dislikes. 

What, you say?  Yes, it's true.  When you do a repeat performance with the same man you can learn what turns them on... what makes them tick... and what makes them quiver.  And he damn well better do the same!  

Now, the same better be true of men around me!  He better want to stick around to explore (in the Biblical sense of course).  Now from what I hear (and I only pretend to understand) men don't have the same feelings and emotions attached to the bedroom activities.  Getting their rocks off is good enough for them.  Like that stupid picture we've all had forwarded to us with one switch for the man and about 100 flips/switches/etc for a woman (and no, I'm not going to copy it here because I hate it!), women are more complex when it comes to the bedroom.  So apparently the same goes for one night stands, because guys tend to love them. 

But dang it.  I don't like them.  If I'm going to put out with a man, I want it to be satisfying.  I want it to be satisfying repeatedly.  So don't fuck and run dudes.  Stick around.  I will (as long as many girls I know!) will continue to learn how how to pleasure you.  You should do the same.  It only gets better with time.  So suck it up and stop getting scared.  Buck up. Suck up, and get fucked up!

Blind Dates of the Digital Age!

When I think of blind dates, I think of something really old school.  Like two meddling mothers who think their children would make the perfect match and set them up on some date that probably would never work. 

But this is the digital age, and times have changed!  Now you can have your blind dates set up by a COMPUTER.  Just think of the possibilities.  There is a new website called Crazy Blind Date  which is run by OKCupid (I have mentioned them before in this blog).  (Unfortunately, right now Crazy Blind Date is down for maintainence) 

Just the other day I heard about Crazy Blind Date on the local radio station.  While I can't directly access their site right now, I was able to find details about them on other websites.  Currently Crazy Blind Date "serves" the Boston, San Francisco, Austin, New York City, Chicago, Washington, D.C., and Los Angeles areas. Once you sign up for the service you give basic details about yourself and what you are looking for in a date.  You upload a picture, but when you are matched, you only see the person's very basic profile, not including the picture.  Instead they show you a very pixilated picture.  You will see only enough information to have a few converstaion starters.  You also include what days, times and neighborhood locations you are available for a date (of at least 20 minutes in length).  Crazy Blind Date then matches you up with a person with similar qualities.  They set up some type of proxy texting service so your number is never revealed to the other person, but you can communicate on the basic details such as what you are wearing and where they can meet you exactly at the location.   After the date, both parties have to fill out a questionaire about how the date went, including if the date showed up, etc. 

So?  Do I think Crazy Blind Date is Crazy Good or Crazy Bad?  Jury is definately still out.  But I do like the idea, it has possibilities.  In a world where people make snap judgements based on a picture or a single line in someone's profile the idea of having to give someone 20 minutes is very interesting.  Granted, the other person could very well be a total loser, or worse an ax murder.  BUT you are meeting in a public place, and it's only 20 minutes minimum. I also like the idea of not having to impress someone with a picture.  Personally, I take the worst pictures - I angle my head down just a little bit and I have double chins on my double chin.  I don't know how they multiple, but they do - I blame the flash. 

We'll see how I feel when Crazy Blind Date comes back up from whatever maintaince they are doing.  i'm not sure I could stand the rejection. 
 

Boys and their Toys, Girls and their... shoes.

I'm a girl.  and I have a problem.  I have a shoe problem.  My house is seriously littered with shoes.  There are shoes under my couch, in the middle of the living room, all over my bedroom, in the hallway, and even in the kitchen.  And I'm an equal opportunity shoe collector.  I have everything from the 4" heels I wear to work, to crocs (don't knock them - I LOVE them!), to flip flops, to big rubber wellies. 

The one thing I can say about shoes, and my shoes is that I don't have expensive shoes.  That's not to say I don't have expensive tastes!  I would love a pair of Manolo's or Jimmy Choo boots - but I cannot justifyy spending the amount of money on a single pair of shoes that would feed me for a month (or more!).  Instead, I'm a HUGE fan of the TJ Maxx Shoe Megashop.  Discounted, mid priced "designer" shoes at lower prices. Get them on sale and you can have really decent shoes at no more than $50.  I try to never spend more than $40.  So, I have a closet full of shoes that I rarely spend $40 for.  (the exception are athletic shoes, which I will shell out a little more, but even them you can get at the Maxx for cheaper!)  

Now, I've been thinking... what would be the optimal boyfriend for me?  Lets see... How about a man with a shoe fetish.  A guy who would appreciate me "showing off" my heals.  He would want me to have the best shoes and would be willing to shell out the money for them.  Hello, Manolo.  Hello Jimmy!