The dissapearing man...

Any of you who read this blog regularly - or even irregularly know I don't tend to write personal stories.  I like to keep the innocent and not so innocent protected.  God knows, I don't need any lawsuits - I'm poor enough as it is!

But, for this post I will go into the personal area (just enough to make my point).

So, I've been trying to date again.  I definitely go through periods where I don't care about dating and then there are times where I really would like to find a man (usually when I'm lonely - take from that what you may).  So in the last month or so I've been hitting the personals ads pretty hard and trying to be smiley and such in public to pick up a guy there (I was hoping that I could pick up some hot doctor during some medical appointments, but that hasn't happened yet!).  And over and over again, I've had the same problem..... just when it gets good - the guy disappears.

Case in point #1: Deleted Email Account
I had been chatting very regularly with a man online.  He seemed to have his shit together.  And I was interested.  We were chatting back and forth via email on Friday, come Monday I email him again and get a return mail response that "this account does not exist or has been deleted."  And being me, I immediately blame myself, and searched through my emails to ensure that I wasn't making shit up (you'd be amazed at how "real" some of my dreams feel).... Nope, we really had emailed on Friday.  So I sent another email (you never know - it could have been a mistake!!), and nope...  I got the same error message.  Now, you'd think I'd have learned my lesson - but apparently my loneliness was making me desperate.... A couple of days later I get an email from the "deleted" account.  No explanation other than he didn't know what was going on with his email.  So, I moved on.  We scheduled a date for the following Saturday.  That Friday we even spoke on the phone.  Saturday comes and no call.  I email to make sure everything is ok and radio silent again (except this time the email hadn't been "deleted")

Case in Point #3: Too "Busy"
Again, I meet someone online at OKCupid.  We actually have a lot in common as we hail from the same state originally.  We chat via email and then text.  A date is scheduled for Saturday.  All is good, until Friday....  Apparently he has gotten really busy at work and can't text or chat and might have to work on the weekend.  I can understand that, work can get crazy.  Monday comes and I text to check in.  The iphone has this nifty feature that allows you to see when the text was read.  He read the text and nothing in return.  Oh well.  Then to make it even stranger.... I received another message on OKCupid and I noticed that his account had been deleted. 

Sadly, this has happened way too often for me!  I'm starting to take offense.  Either that or guys really are jerks (which I'm really trying to NOT believe.

Being single costs you.

I knew it!  Being single is more expensive and now there is a study to illustrate my point!

The Atlantic magazine published an analysis of US Federal Tax Code that showed that more than 1,000 laws give financial or legal benefits to those who are married. 

The analysis looked at 2 single women in Virgina (to it's relatable for me!) on earning $40K and one earning $80K per year and also two married women earning $40K and one earning $80K.  Doing all kinds of nerdy calculations (which actually appeal to me, yes, I'm a nerd) showed that being single cost the woman making $40K about $484,368 over 60 years.  And for the woman making $80K being single is going to cost her a whopping $1,022,096 over 60 years! 

And that's just taking in account the federal laws and such.  That's not even thinking about all the other costs.  How about a single woman living alone (as I am) - I have to pay 100% for all my living expenses.  Think about it... 100% of my mortgage, 100% of the cable, 100% of the power, heat, water...  That's a huge cost! 

I've said many times over that I'd like to find a husband just so I can share my bills, little did I know that it would really be cost effective! 

New term alert: SOAKING

For the second time in a week I came across a new slang that I hadn't heard before.  Now this is uncommon - usually I'm pretty hip on the current vernacular (so much that I used the word vernacular!)

So watching TMZ tonight (a guilty pleasure), I heard the term SOAKING. 

So what exactly is soaking?  According to Urban Dictionary soaking is "The event of marinating your penis inside your girl's vagina" 

Apparently, soaking is all the rage in the Mormon (no offense) and virgin community (if it can be called a "community")  One can "soak" and still be considered a virgin because there was no "thrusting" that signifies sexual intercourse.

What the fuck?!?  Apparently we are looking for any excuse.  First, oral sex is not considered "sex", then anal sex is not considered "sex" and now you can soak your cock in some girl's snatch and still be considered a virgin.  Humm, I guess what ever floats your boat or makes you feel better about yourself.

"Fun" Fact of the day

According to OMGSex Facts on twitter...

For $700, girls can get their hymen rebuilt to fake virginity when getting married in China

Really? Just $700?  That seems kind of cheap to me and maybe even a surgery to consider.  Then again, if you are paying just $700 for someone to fuck around with your vagina (pun not intended), do you really think they are going to do a humm-dinger of a job? 

Also, is the bad first time built into the cost?  Because that first time usually means a couple of things: broken hymen, guy who doesn't know what he's doing (assuming you are both new to sex or he's very inexperienced), and an experience that definitely does not fit expectations.

 

If the 1960s was the decade of love, then the 1980's was the decade of sex.

If songs are any indication, the 1980's was a decade full of nasty dirty sex, but in the good way.  This is Buzzfeed's list of 15 Really Explicit (And Hilarious) Songs About Sex From The 80s.  You'll notice there is an influx of songs in 1984, what could that mean?  Sadly, when I read each title, the song plays automatically in my head...


1. "Sugar Walls" - Sheena Easton, 1984

2. "Side It In" - White Snake, 1984

3.  "Do You Wanna Touch Me?" - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, 1982

 

4.  "Erotic City" - Prince, 1984

 

5.  "You Shook Me All Night Long" - AC/DC, 1980

 

6.  "Push It" - Salt-n-Pepa - 1987



7.  "Me So Horny" - 2 Live Crew, 1989

8.  "I Want Your Sex" - George Michael, 1987

9.  "Sex... I'm A" - Berlin, 1982

 

10. "Flesh for Fantasy" - Billy Idol, 1983



 

11. "Like A Virgin" - Madonna, 1984

 

12.  "Pour Some Sugar on Me" - Def Leppard, 1987

 

13.  "Love in an Elevator" - Aerosmith, 1895

 

14. "Rock You Like a Hurricane" - Scorpions, 1984

 

15.  "Sex Rap" - Red Hot Chili Peppers, 1985



New term alert: Moose Knuckle

So this is a new term for me, of course - it might not be so new for you.

So the other day I posted a picture of Jon Hamm and some funky looking bumps in his pants. 

So, turns out that the funny looking bump is actually called a Moose's Knuckle.  (Thank you The New Normal for giving me a heads up on Moose's Knuckle.)

How do I get people to comment??

I think I'm going to start using bad grammar and stop using spell check... maybe someone will comment!