Yes, it's been a long ass time since I've written on here. That's for many reasons.... I'd like to say it was because I was not single (i.e. in a relationship), but that's not quite the case. I was "dating" a man who I thought was dating me. Turns out, I was the other woman. Yes, I was THAT woman. But before you all hate on me, I didn't know. Yes, there were signs, but I got really good at justifying them. And all that he said indicated that there wasn't anyone else. I also allowed him way too much leeway and justified many of his actions to myself. Stupid. Yes, I feel stupid.
But, it's been MONTHS since facebook fatefully suggested I "friend" his girlfriend. Long story, but I instantly was done.
I've also gone through some serious life changes, the loss of a beloved dog after 12 years of blood, tears, and fur - lots and lots of fur. I also changed jobs - got a large raise, more flexibility, and less "overtime"... until recently, as work as ramped up like crazy again. Working 7 days a week is not for the wicked.
But, back to the topic at hand. Dating is hard. Dating in DC is harder. Dating at 36 in DC is nearly impossible. I've tried nearly every website and dating app known to (wo)man. And it nearly follows the same roadmap -- you meet someone on app/website, exchange pleasantries on the app, move up to exchanging phone numbers, text nearly constantly for days or weeks, finally schedule that first date, first date seems to go decently enough, follow up with a text thank you, and then a few very awkward texts follows... and either you and he drops contact. It's all over except the fat lady singing (and you don't want me to sing - I'm tone deaf).
And that roadmap is ONLY the case when you actually get to actually have that first date. Often the constant texting ends up in a first date set; first date is cancelled for small reason, and texting wains off until you get the Dear John text.
What the hell does it take to actually find someone worthy of your time, someone you actually would rather enjoy being with? I sure don't know - and if anyone else does... let me know.
I'll try to get back to blogging again, we shall see. As we all know, my content tended on the sexual side and that gave some gentlemen an impression of me that isn't 100% true. We shall see where it goes from here. All I know is that I do miss writing.
Saturday, March 25, 2017
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Hello Again.
It's been a hot second since I've blogged. Not sure why and not sure where to start again. I have a couple of things floating around in my head but nothing solid. So I shall write my ideas, if you have a preference vote in comments, or just keep continue reading whatever I put out there.
1. Thinking about starting to incorporate some of my weight loss (mis)adventures into this blog. There are so many topics and things I can talk about. The last 3 years of my life since having gastric bypass surgery have been a wee bit crazy.
2. Under that subject, I thought about writing a companion guide to weight MANAGEMENT after weight loss surgery. Quickly losing 100 lbs in 15 months is easy, no one tells you the hard part is keeping it off.
3. Again, under the same subject a guide for spouses, friends, and family of weight loss/bariatric surgery patients. In these three years, I've lost more friends than I've gained and had many, if not all of my relationships change. No one tells you the hardest part about this whole process is the mental BS.
4. Ahh, mental BS. Yes, I could write about coming back from the brink. How an unlikely combination helped me feel like I was getting my life back.
5. Ohh, I could just continue at status quo (which obviously isn't much lately!) with putting up random crap that I see on the internet. (which I will follow up this post with....)
1. Thinking about starting to incorporate some of my weight loss (mis)adventures into this blog. There are so many topics and things I can talk about. The last 3 years of my life since having gastric bypass surgery have been a wee bit crazy.
2. Under that subject, I thought about writing a companion guide to weight MANAGEMENT after weight loss surgery. Quickly losing 100 lbs in 15 months is easy, no one tells you the hard part is keeping it off.
3. Again, under the same subject a guide for spouses, friends, and family of weight loss/bariatric surgery patients. In these three years, I've lost more friends than I've gained and had many, if not all of my relationships change. No one tells you the hardest part about this whole process is the mental BS.
4. Ahh, mental BS. Yes, I could write about coming back from the brink. How an unlikely combination helped me feel like I was getting my life back.
5. Ohh, I could just continue at status quo (which obviously isn't much lately!) with putting up random crap that I see on the internet. (which I will follow up this post with....)
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
The perfect BRA size
I'm sure this is a question that has been on your mind for your entire life....
What is the perfect boob and perfect bra that covers that boob?
So, turns out a matchmaking website called PerfectArrangement.com surveyed it's vast membership database (unknown) about all kinds of physical features.... The questions included preferences on things such as hair color, eye color, height, weight, and of course..... bra size.
According to men, the best bra size is...... (drumroll please ......)..... 32D
Do you realize how unproportionate a 32D is? That means a woman's rib cage is 32 inches around (that's teeny), and the measurement difference between the ribcage and the biggest part of the breast is 4 inches.
For reference, here is a picture chart of various D's and DD's.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Is your name sexy?
Apparently there are a number of names that are considered sexy. The survey, carried out by BabyNameWizard.com found the following 10 male and 10 female names that are considered the sexiest. Now, I'm not sure why BabyNameWizard would be looking at sexy names, because I don't know a single parent who had a goal of giving their child a "sexy" name.
Now I'm no expert on sexy names, nor naming a child... but I feel I must pass along this information. It's my civic duty to spread random facts to the masses.
So here you go...
Top 10 Sexiest Names for Women
1. Scarlett (Thanks to Gone With the Wind)
2. Nicolette
3. Natalia
4. Anais
5. Paulina
6. Alessandra
7. Chanel
8. Soraya
9. Adrianna
10. Giuliana
** Note, I might be reaching here, but I don't think it's a coincidence that a vast majority of these names belong to current and past Supermodels... **
Top 10 Sexiest Names for Men
1. Alessandro
2. Lorenzo
3. Rhett (there goes the Gone with the Wind connection again)
4. Romeo
5. Mateo
6. Dimitri
7. Dane
8. Marcelo
9. Dante (whenever I see or hear the name "Dante" I think of the movie Grandma's Boy - and there is NOTHING sexy about that Dante! And if you have no idea what I'm referencing when I say Grandma's Boy - go HERE and order it - it's only $6.59... NOW. It's probably the funniest movie I've ever seen)
10. Remy
Now I'm no expert on sexy names, nor naming a child... but I feel I must pass along this information. It's my civic duty to spread random facts to the masses.
So here you go...
Top 10 Sexiest Names for Women
1. Scarlett (Thanks to Gone With the Wind)
2. Nicolette
3. Natalia
4. Anais
5. Paulina
6. Alessandra
7. Chanel
8. Soraya
9. Adrianna
10. Giuliana
** Note, I might be reaching here, but I don't think it's a coincidence that a vast majority of these names belong to current and past Supermodels... **
Top 10 Sexiest Names for Men
1. Alessandro
2. Lorenzo
3. Rhett (there goes the Gone with the Wind connection again)
4. Romeo
5. Mateo
6. Dimitri
7. Dane
8. Marcelo
9. Dante (whenever I see or hear the name "Dante" I think of the movie Grandma's Boy - and there is NOTHING sexy about that Dante! And if you have no idea what I'm referencing when I say Grandma's Boy - go HERE and order it - it's only $6.59... NOW. It's probably the funniest movie I've ever seen)
10. Remy
Above and beyond the Top 10 lists, the study shows that Latin and French names score high and male names ending in "o" and female names ending in "a" are often considered sexy. And strangely enough, names featuring double letters (Adriana vs. Adrianna) fare more sexy than their single letter counterparts.
And in all fairness, the website also released the Top lists of least sexy names.
Top Least Sexiest Names for Women
1. Gertrude
2. Bertha
3. Agnes
4. Ethel
5. Mildred
** all these names tend to be "Grandmother's names," so I can see where the "least sexy" ranking makes sense. BUT, I gotta tell you, the Hipsters who are just beginning to have children tend to use these old style names, so who knows what this list will be approximately 18 years from now when today's Hipster kids are of legal age. **
Top Least Sexiest Names for Women
1. Bob
2. Ernest (This has to be because of the "movie star" Ernest who was all the rage in the 80's and that Ernest was FAR from sexy)
3. Normal
4. Dick (come on, this one is a GIVEN)
5. Howard
1. Gertrude
2. Bertha
3. Agnes
4. Ethel
5. Mildred
** all these names tend to be "Grandmother's names," so I can see where the "least sexy" ranking makes sense. BUT, I gotta tell you, the Hipsters who are just beginning to have children tend to use these old style names, so who knows what this list will be approximately 18 years from now when today's Hipster kids are of legal age. **
Top Least Sexiest Names for Women
1. Bob
2. Ernest (This has to be because of the "movie star" Ernest who was all the rage in the 80's and that Ernest was FAR from sexy)
3. Normal
4. Dick (come on, this one is a GIVEN)
5. Howard
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
National Breakup Day
According to a survey, TODAY, February 10th is the most popular day of the YEAR for breakups. 22% of those surveyed admitted to dumping someone on February 10th - only days before Valentine's Day. The reason??? They didn't want to spent Valentine's Day pretending they were in a happy relationship when they weren't. Only 4% said they would hold off until after Valentine's day.... Why you ask? Because they wanted a nice gift and dinner -- and girls wonder why men see us as gold diggers.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Picture pet peeve.... My LEAST favorite type of "creative" pictures on online dating profiles
A good 10% of the guys have the "creative" picture where they are pretending to hold something up or peeing something out. See examples I've provided.
I know the guys are trying to be cleaver, but more often than not they look like they drank too much and have reverted back to their 13 year old boy humor, and not in a good way.
I think these pictures are just fine for your own personal collection - but posting them on your online dating profile just makes you look both desperate as well as lacking some serious creativity. I know guys think that they are the first one to "hold" down a building with one finger, or pretending a stream of water is you peeing. But... my least favorite are the ones where guys pretend that the Washington Monument is his "monster dick".... but in reality, I assume they are over compensation!
And I'd love to blame guys on this one, but it's not just them - there are plenty of women doing the same thing. Ladies... come on, I know you are smarter than that!
Thursday, February 5, 2015
What your man's football team says about his personality.
So read away, figure out what your man's (or your own!) team choice says about you. Hell, after you read the description you might want to change teams... Maybe.
Atlanta Falcons
You have absolutely no shot at being a part of the best relationship he’s ever had. He’s moved on from the girl he was in love with, for sure, especially since she ultimately broke his heart, but she was everything. You’ll have to live with the fact that in the all-time rankings of girlfriends, you’ll be second best.Arizona Cardinals
He’s underrated. As a total package, some people might think he’s not that great, but that’s only because certain circumstances in his life have conspired against him. All he needs is a couple things to go his way and you’ll soon realize that you have someone great on your hands.Baltimore Ravens
He’s probably great at defending himself, so don’t plan on winning any arguments. And, if he’s taken a page out of his favorite players’ book down the years, he’ll know how to bust a few moves when it’s time to celebrate. So go ahead, take him to the dance floor.Buffalo Bills
You can almost forget he exists sometimes, but once you give him the time of day, you realize that he’s actually a cool guy. If you’re with him, he’ll cherish you, no matter what others think, which is saying a lot these days.Carolina Panthers
You’ll question some of the things he likes and react with a “What!? Really? Okay.” when he tells you some of his interests. But he likes what he likes, and you’ll have to accept that.Chicago Bears
This guy is belligerent and bullish. Your relationship with him just can’t be good, it has to have an edge to it. Subtlety is not his strong suit.Cincinnati Bengals
This guy is loyal. Despite having his heart broken when things looked to be headed his way for sure, he has not bowed to cynicism. He will meet your companionship with enthusiasm and new hope for the future.Cleveland Browns
This guy’s been with more people than he can count and none of them have worked out, not a single one. In fact, you’d be pulling off a miracle if you two find happiness together.Dallas Cowboys
If you look at his résumé from top to bottom, you’ll probably think you’ve landed yourself a pretty great catch, which is fair enough. But don’t be surprised if he keeps up bringing what he’s done in the past to defend his present disappointments.Denver Broncos
This guy is cool, and not just because of the weather. He’s laid back, doesn’t take anything too seriously and enjoys life. None of the preceding facts, though, have stopped him from enjoying success. He’s in a good place in life right now and, if you come along, you’ll be in for a great ride.Detroit Lions
The one time he had someone great, she left prematurely and left his life in shambles. Since then he hasn’t really had great expectations. Even if he should expect more from you, he probably won’t.Green Bay Packers
He’s the simple, low-key, small-town guy, which adds to his charm. He might not be down for going to a club on Friday night, but he’ll watch the sunrise with you.Houston Texans
He’s a young guy. He’s made plenty of mistakes, and once he finally got himself together, things in his life fell apart quickly. He’s dusting himself off and going for bigger things now. You might be the one to grow with him.Indianapolis Colts
He’s mature, in that he knows what it’s like to end a long, fruitful relationship maturely and on amicable terms. He’ll adore you like a queen, but don’t be shocked if years down the line, he leaves for someone newer and younger.Jacksonville Jaguars
This guy has little to no idea what it’s like to have someone who is actually great for him. In fact, success in your relationship with this guy would be a shocker.Kansas City Chiefs
This guy is loud, supportive and enthusiastic about everything he does. He will welcome you into his family if you treat him right and you won’t have to worry about bringing your friends around him, they’re welcome too. In fact, the only person he might not get along with is someone from Oakland.Miami Dolphins
He cares about you, but isn’t obsessed. He’ll have no problem spending his time elsewhere for the night if, God forbid, you don’t want to hang out with him one weekend. He’ll be there for you, but won’t necessarily see your relationship as a matter of life and death.Minnesota Vikings
He knows his best relationship, a wildly entertaining affair, is long gone. Having someone to just settle down with for now is the main priority.New England Patriots
He’s used to success. And while he may not always have had the best-looking or best-dressed girls to deal with, he’s made sure of two things: that they always suited him and his agenda and that they always gave the relationship their all. Compromise any of those two principles and he’ll cut you off with no remorse.New Orleans Saints
He might not be your cup of tea, but he’s impossible not to like. If anything, the fact that he’s overcome a lot in his life and has found a way to experience consistent success in recent years should attract you to him even more.New York Giants
Never short of confidence and with good reasons, he’s defied the odds enough times in his life. Because of that, he’ll always expect the best, but is willing to accept the worst if it comes.New York Jets
In a constant attempt to get the attention he feels he deserves, this guy can make rash decisions and has gone out of his way to hook up with (the bombshell who doesn’t know how to read, the good girl who looked awkward trying to engage in the most basic elements of a relationship, etc.). Deep down though, he always knows things will go wrong, and is desperately waiting for someone to come along and change that.Philadelphia Eagles
What you’ve done for him in the past seldom matters. He’ll come down on you hard in an instant if you rub him the wrong way.Pittsburgh Steelers
This guy will brag a lot about his accolades, and has a lot of friends who will join in with him. It can get annoying, especially when you realize he actually has a point. In life, when things are going “bad,” they’re actually going pretty good by other people’s standards.Oakland Raiders
He is not too far removed from a ridiculously long relationship that featured lots of promises, but a whole bunch of letdowns and is still scared from that experience. You’ll have some work to do in reversing the lingering effects of that relationship.San Diego Chargers
This guy has been wondering how he hasn’t found true love for a while now. He believes he’s nice, entertaining and good-looking, but has ultimately failed to experience a successful relationship. He’s just now starting to wonder, “maybe it’s me.”San Francisco 49ers
This guy was once the big man on campus, and while he lost his charm for a bit while going through a slump for a couple years, he’s got his life together now. His groove is back and he’s ready to have the greatest time of his life to add to those past memories.Seattle Seahawks
He’s incredibly supportive and always behind you 100 percent. He’ll stick with you through the good times and bad.St. Louis Rams
This guy just can’t win. Despite not being too bad of a pick himself, he’s surrounded by better looking individuals who just have more than him, almost to the point that it’s unfair. To make up for this fact, he bought a new shiny car, but it keeps breaking down. He’s basically Bad Luck Brian at this point.Tampa Bay Buccaneers
This guy is fresh off a debacle of a relationship, but he wasted no time in cutting her off. He’s expecting a lot more from his next relationship, so you best be ready to step up.Tennessee Titans
He’s a rare breed; definitely a novelty. You’ll be shocked guys like him still exist in the world. For you, he’ll likely be one of a kind.Washington Redskins
No matter what, he’s proud of who he is. You might dislike certain aspects of his character, but he will be totally unapologetic about it. If you want to “change” a man, this is not the one.
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