First, I must admit that I'm not a metro/subway/etc frequent rider these days. I have been in the past and I don't have (much) against it - but from where I live to where I work it would take nearly triple the time (and money) to ride the metro to work than drive. OK, disclaimer done, I know they can be SO boring!
Now, we all know... bars aren't great for meeting people - men and women both go there for one purpose and that's to drink and drinking and emotions go together like cats and dogs (you thought I was going to say oil and water huh - got you there). they snuggle sometimes but at the root of the matter they are just going to rip each others eyes out. We all have to look for alternative ways to meet that special someone in our lives, so whenever I see a way to do so, I jump on it.
So when I saw this article online about ways to pick up men/women on the metro/subway/etc (the author is from Brooklyn) I jumped on it. Now, maybe the NYC subway is better than the DC metro system - but from what I remember and all I hear about are horror stories of people digging for gold (and eating it) or guys copping a feel when the train jerks... but hey, I'm always open to new ideas... So lets see...
Avoid premature flirtation
The only thing that feels more awkward than shuffling off the train after silently staring down that cute guy without saying a word for 20 minutes? Besides writing the follow-up Missed Connection? Jumping the gun, getting shot down, and not being able to escape. (You won’t get shot down! But just in case!) You’re not paranoid: the entire train car is looking at you and judging. Some of them will probably blog about it later. So, take your time, and…
** OK, good call... lets wait a bit... It's not good to flirt a little and then be stuck... But if you do you can always jump off and get on the car diretly behind and avoid **
Establish eye contact first
Anyone who's ever been on the receiving end of a creepy, lustful gaze knows this: When someone is eyeing you, you know. So, no need to startle: give them a moment to acknowledge your eye sexing before you go in for the kill. If they put on their headphones and shove a book between the two of you when they catch you looking, they might not be into it. Their loss. But if they look like they might be interested?...
** Note to guys, make sure you LOOK like part before giving that "eye contact" Seriouly, if you are dressed like an ax murder, or even a butcher after a hard days work, don't expect the eye contact to work. Also note, wearing dark sunglasses and trying to establish eye contact doesn't work - just a hint **
Start off with a little white lie
"How are you liking that book? A friend just recommended it to me." If they are holding a book, whether or not you have ever heard of the title, this is the thing to say. Saying this does two things: it communicates that you are perhaps well read or least able to string together a sentence, and it gives you something to say other than "uhhhh let's have some sex?"
No book? Ask if that bag is vintage. Where that watch is from. Comment on literally anything besides how much you’d like to fondle their genitals and you're earning points. I once agreed to go on a date with someone who commented on my JANE magazine and said he loved it. He was lying and I knew it, but it was a friendly opener that got us talking. I met another man when he asked me for a cigarette as we were walking out of the subway. I didn't smoke. Neither did he.
** Don't try to talk about the PLOT of the book if you know nothing about it! Or how the sky is blue if you are underground. Try to keep it conversational. And if she ignores you or leaves you for short answers - by God man, STOP! Nothing is worse than the guy who keeps talking to you when you have stopped the conversation. **
Ask where they're going
Proceed with caution with this one—inquiring about destination generally works in proportion to the commute. Cross-continental flight? Ask away and you may spark a conversation about travel. Crossing the street? She's reaching for her pepper spray before the question is even out of your mouth.
** Yes be VERY careful. This question borders on STALKERISH and in this day the last thing a woman or hell a man wants is someone asking them where they are going. BUT, it does work if they heading towards the airport with luggage!**
Wait until the last minute to seal the deal
Two subway stops before your destination. A handful of blocks, if you're on a bus. Five minutes until landing, if you're in flight. Don't ask them out until there is an exit in sight for both of you. You may think it's only awkward if they turn you down, but it can backfire even if they say yes early on, too. Ask too soon and suddenly you're experiencing first date jitters halfway into a 6 hour flight, deciding between pasta and chicken for your in-flight meal, willing yourself to stay awake so you don't drool on them, and making awkward mile high club jokes.
** But definately leave enough time for the exchange of email, phone, IM, etc - there are too many ways to communicate these days. And don't leave it to chance - you'll never know if they'll see your Craig's List Missed Connections (and I've had hits and misses there - and even the hits have been serious misses!) **
Be direct—and daring
Repeat “I never have to see this person ever again” to yourself however many times you need in order to muster up the courage to ask them out. On a date. No mumbling about a phone number where you can text them, maybe, sometime, if that’s cool? No shrugging and flaccid offers to “Facebook each other”. Sorry, no—you’ve come this far, and whether you’re asking someone out online or on a bus, proposing an unambiguous date goes a long way. Happy travels!
** Good Luck! Remember, how many times do you get to see the fat obnixious smelly guys (yes there are million) or the woman picking her nose or god knows all the tourists. But how often do you actually meet someone that's worth meeting -- you better take down that number and actually call him/her - it's damn near a miracle!! **
