Mistakes guys make on Valentine's Day - Did yours make it yesterday?

So yesterday was Valentine's Day.  Hope it went well for all of you, but for the rest of you - sorry  about that.  And let me tell you, bad Valentine's Days aren't just reserved for the lonely single folk.  Some of those coupled up peeps don't have the best Valentine's Day either. 

And while we all want equality for woman and men - lets face it, the ol' V-Day isn't one of those days we think about the equality of men and women.  It's like suddenly that whole ideal disappears and men must again become the providers, the dominant, you know all that bs.  (not that I buy into that, I think you both should be showing your affection and your love - but everyday and random presents and such things are much better than a specific day in Feb - but that's neither here nor there). 

But, all that being said. . . . Valentine's Day is how it is, and yesterday there were women everywhere having HUGE expectations of the man in their lives.  And I'm sure hundreds, if not thousands or millions of men failed to live up these expectations.  So, what type of mistakes did they make?  According to yahoo and Shine.com there are Six Common Mistakes that men make..

Mistake #1. Getting words of wisdom from your local drug store. 

Cards are great - ones that come from Walmart, Walgreens or some fancy card store.  But if some guy just gives you a store bought card signed with just his name then he's made a big mistake.  What's the message here - the message is that there is no message.  Anyone can steal others words, but using your own means everything!  Relationship psychologist Dr. Terri Orbuch also suggests a personal note trumps even chocolate. "Which says 'I love you' more: a box of candy or a handwritten note telling your partner you'd still choose him/her if you had to do it all over again?" asks Orbuch. "Show your partner why he/she matters so much to you."

Mistake #2.  Letting a bear do your bidding.
Stuffed animals are great... for little kids and dogs.  A poll by ShopRunner - a woman's shopping site - member's claimed that teddy bears are the worst gift they have received on V-Day.  And boys, the standard flowers and chocolates are better, but not much.  Generic gifts aren't great ideas  - just like generic cards.  Girls dont' want to feel generic - they want to feel special.  But special doesn't have to be expensive - expensive can scare women, especially in a new relationship.  Find a simple gift that shows you have been listening to her - a DVD she's been talking about, or a book that she's mentioned, or something she really needs. 

Mistake #3. Declaring Valentine's Day a ploy for consumers.


I was given this article by a friend based on this mistake alone.  And I think there is a fair number of us (men and women) who make this "mistake" and don't even think of it as a mistake.  Valentine's Day isn't going anywhere, and it's not just about the "Hallmark Holiday", and in fact as the previous mistakes have shown - the typical "Valentine's Day" aspects of the day are the most mistakey (for lack of a better word) parts of the day.  The day is really about giving us - men AND women - a reminder to appreciate the special people in our lives.  And it doesn't just have to be around those that we are fucking, it can be about those we love, platontically and romantically.  "In the larger picture, cultural rituals like Valentine’s Day structure opportunities to do good things that we could do any day, but usually do not,” writes social scientist Bill Doherty in Psychology Today. “The year I took my wife to Subway on February 14 was the low point. Eventually I realized that the cost of minimizing Valentine’s Day—the disappointment and the missed opportunity to connect—is greater than the benefits of maintaining my freedom to be spontaneously romantic on my own timetable.”


Mistake #4. Sharing the Day with your Blackberry

As a Blackberry addict, I can tell you I always have my phone by my side.  And little texts/emails of affection from my special person are awesome as every day reminders of their love.  (According to Shine/Yahoo One in five guys will text their loving message on Valentine’s Day and one in ten will take to email).  But on Valentine's Day - as we've learned - you need to up your game.  Now, if these messages were a build up to a later in the day bigger "thing" that's great.  But as an only V-Day activity, yikes.  If you are unlucky and you can't see her on that special day - take the special effort to send a handwritten note (it means a whole lot!) or something a bit more special. 

Mistake #5: Expecting her to make the plans

Like I've mentioned before, life isn't fair - and neither are the expectations for V-Day.  Men need to make the plans - and really should plan ahead (64% do not make the plans in advance, and 64% of men shouldn't expect happy women!)  The plans don't have to be elaborate (for every woman - some bitches are pretty high maintenance - and if you found yourself one of those wonderful women - lucky you!)  The plan can be something as "easy" as a dinner in or to your favorite casual place, but make sure guys that you know what you are doing ahead of time!

Mistake #6: Underdressing

Boys, you might not like it - but the ol' V-Day is about romance, and there is nothing romantic about a ripped up T-shirt and an old pair of jeans.  I'll give you a little hint, fashion means a lot to women, and what she wears and what you wear means a lot to her.  Dressing up a little shows that you want the evening to be a little different than the norm.