Dating Myths

Dating is not easy, in fact it's pretty damn difficult (from my perspective).  There are so many damn "rules" you have to follow to find the right guy or girl.  So when I saw this list of dating myths busted I was pretty excited. Granted, they themed it for St. Patty's day and called it dating "blarney" but I will save you from that crappy word and give you the real deal.

Dating Myth #1: There is no such thing as love at first sight.
Turns out there actually is a thing such as love at first sight (duh, don't you hear those stories all the time.  Is saw him from across the room and knew he was the man for me... Granted, how many stories start off with, Yeah, it was a shitty date.  What are the odds you will really find love at first sight? 1 in 100, 1 in 1,000, 1 in 1,000,000??).  OK, back to the myth.  Turns out love at first sight happens more often to men than women.  Dr. Helen Fisher an anthropologist (guess she's not like Bones) and author of Why We Love Women says that "Men fall in love instantaneously when they lay eyes n someone attractive because they are so visual"  ** I would assume the opposite is true as well.  If they see someone unattractive, they are repulsed?  Turns out women are biologically programed to not be so visual so they are slower to fall in love.

Dating Myth #2: Men Should always pay for the first date.
Personally, I like the traditional male/female roles.  You know - the man pays, the woman pulls out her wallet in a very lame attempt to offer.  OK, maybe I'm not that bad, I always offer to pay but bonus if he doesn't take me up on it.  And I will have you know, I NEVER go on a date if I can't afford to pay for the entire bill myself - he could up and leave me at the table with the bill (it's happened to me) or he could take me up on my offer to pay!  But apparently, according to match.com the person who asks, pays.  That makes sense to me.  But etiquette expert Gloria Starr says that going dutch (or splitting the bill) is a bad way to begin a new relationship because it sends messages that neither one of you is investing in the bond.  So, I guess...  I shall never ask for a date then.  That way I don't have to pay.

Dating Myth #3: Single women rearrange their schedule to see a guy they like. 
Sorry guys, this one falls on you.  It's actually more likely that a man will rearrange their schedule to go out with or see a chick they really like.  Dr. Fisher (the Bones wanna be above) says that if a man is interested in a woman he is more likely to be the one waiting by the phone or obsessively checking his email ... Yup, at lest now I feel a bit vindicated for the shit I do - you guys are doing it more!

Dating Myth #4: If a guy doesn't immediately show his interest, he doesn't really like you.
OK, I'm on this one.  If a guy doesn't show me he likes me - say immediately.  You know send me texts, phone calls, email, hell smoke signals I'm totally bummed (yes, I just used that phrase).  But guess what - the boys strike again... If a guy genuinely likes you and doesn't want to mess up he's more likely to move slowly.  Daima Heyn (what a name) and author of Drama Kings: The men who drive strong women crazy (yup, gonna have to buy that book just for the title alone! "Some of the worst dating disasters I've heard of involve men who dazzle with their insistence that you're the ONE right after they meet you.  You feel flattered and thrilled, get intimate, and then he's gone.  He only wanted to woo you, not win you." Basically, in no uncertain terms, he just wanted to get in your pants, he didn't really care about anything else.  I think we shall call this a ... player. 

Dating Myth #5: You should play hard to get to land a man
You know those rules... a woman should never call a man, always pretend she's busy and never say yes to a date that made in advance.  Yeah, all these are bullshit.  Joni Mantell - a psychotherapist and "love coach" (**WAIT a damn minute, you can get a love coach, I thought that shit was only in the movies... and I thought a life coach was a bit far out there, now a love coach!)  Back to Miss. Joni Mantell she says that there are no hard and fast rules to landing a man (duh, I could have told you that)  Fake confidence or toughness creates distance and distance is not good for a relationship.

Dating Myth #6: It's always a mistake to date someone at work.
As an experienced "work dater" I will tell you it's not always a mistake!  You just have to be smart about it, and that smart means not being a drama queen.  Ronna Lichenberg (author of Pitch Like a Girl: How a Woman Can Be Herself and Still Succeed) says that you should set some general ground rules - (1) don't date more than one person in the office, (2) Only go for it when the chemistry is definitely there and (3) watch out for corporate Boss-subordinate dating.