Dogs that make better boyfriends

So, I'm a dog lover (and not in THAT way - thank you very much).  It's funny because I never used to be.  I grew up with nearly every animal (no reptiles though - I like the furry ones) except a dog.  I tell my parents now that I was neglected as a child and it wasn't until I was nearly 25 that I discovered my real love for dogs.  In saying that, I think I have now gone a bit overboard as I currently have 250lbs of total dog weight (three dogs). I also think my youngest dog - a male mastiff thinks he really is my boyfriend and in all the positive ways - he snuggles with me, listens to me talk (and doesn't judge) and follows me around like a little puppy dog.  If only he could cook and clean, I would have no reason to look for anyone else.

So, I cracked up when I saw on the Huffington Post that  the list of 11 dog breeds that you need more than a man.  So enjoy....

1.  Bernese Mountain Dog (The Lover):  Bernese Mountain Dogs might be one of the cutest things ever, as a puppy they are just a little fluff ball.  And The Berner is a fiercely local dog that has serious watchdog tendencies.  So, in the middle of the night when you hear that bump in the night - you can send out the big dog to look for what it is - bonus you don't even have to get out of bed.  And bonus, you have something warm, and cuddly to snuggle up with at night!

2. French Bulldog (The Lounger): Even as puppies, Frenchies are lazy!  Bonus for someone who doesn't want to wake their ass up before the break of down and take the dog out for a potty break.  The Frenchies are so willing to please that they will do anything for you.  And as my experience (just this weekend) shows they just want to snuggle up and make out with you.  Yeah, not so great if the dog is literally trying to lick the back of your throat, but it's nice to know they love you do matter what (well, that's when they aren't sleeping!).  And bonus - they are so damn cute! 

3. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel (The Socializer): So you want a social dog/man?  One that is super friendly and eager to please you at every minute.  Yup, go for a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel (and yes, I think their name is way too damn long).  This dog will get along with everyone - furry and human alike (yes, even  your cat!).  Hell, this is better than a man already - most often they won't like your friends, your mother, your neighbor.....

4. Boston Terrier (The Gentleman):  Did you know that Boston Terrier are known as "The American Gentleman" not because they always look like they are wearing a tux, but because they have superior manners.  Bostons are notorious goofy, so not only do they have great house manners, they will keep you laughing.  And bonus - he requires little to no maintenance!

5. Golden Retriever (The Golden Boy):  Seriously, the Golden Retriever is like the guy you always hear about but are never able to find.  The gorgeous, affluent, built man who likes to cook, clean and watch chic flicks.  Basically, the golden is the gold standard and has every quality you would look for in a man - intelligence, friendliness, reliability...)  And bonus, he's easy to train (if only men were that easy!) 

6.  Akita (The Well Groomed): Akitas have a bad rep as being mean.  They aren't!  They are actually very affectionate with their owners (maybe aloof with strangers).  But who wants a man "spreading his love around!"  The Akita keeps himself in great shape, constantly grooming himself (better than most men anyway!)

7.  Saint Bernard (The Protector): Saint Bernard's are protective above all else.  He's very patient and won't mind waiting if you take forever to do something.  He's also very obedient, no one wants to have to tell someone to do something over and over... and over again (sound familiar)  Yup, again, proof that dogs are better than men.

8.  Pomeranian (The Looker): While I'm not a huge fan of the toy breeds, the Pom is definitely cute.  They are so cute they almost look fake - as if you could put them in with a basket of stuffed toys and you couldn't tell the difference.  Think of the Pom as the equivalent to the beautiful model you see in the magazine - with his abs showing - the difference is that Pom's are the real thing and the guy is probably airbrushed.

9.  Border Collie (The Energizer): Anyone who has met (or seen) a Border Collie knows that they are nonstop.  They have remarkable stamina that can keep them going all day.  Sound like a good trait?  In many ways it is!

10. Borzoi (The Independent): You know that guy who is independent - you are great together, but he gives you that time by yourself.  Ok, maybe you don't KNOW him, but he is your ideal.  Tje Borzoi is that man... he is there if you want him, but is also content to stay in the background.