Drinks a man should never order ...

Someone famous once said, "Thou shall not pass judgement"  Now, I don't know who that person was, but they obviously lived somewhere besides here... Because judgement runs rampant in these parts.  And boys, we judge the hell out of you.  So, you should keep watch, and basically if you want to get laid, pay attention... There are some drinks you should NEVER order.

No.8 A drink with a name you can't pronounce
These days there are pages upon pages written in bar drink manuals of all sorts of alocholic combinations.  We get that you want to be adventurous and try new things.  In fact - even try to impress the people you are with by your vast knowledge of alochol.  But if you can't pronounce the name of the drink correctly, don't order it.  Someone in your party - or god forbid the bartender - is going to know how to pronounce it correctly and instead of looking like the intelligent drinker, you are just going to look like a pretentious idiot who doesn't know shit.  And really, do you want to look like that?  My guess is no.

No.7 Malibu and Diet CokeNow, I like me some Malibu rum.  Askmen doesn't approve.  They think that Malibu is a horrible beverage.  Diet Coke is great ... for women.  You combine Malibu and Diet Coke and it's the ultimate men's emasculation tool.  Sorry guys.  If you really want the taste -- go for the standard rum and coke. 

No.6 Fuzzy Naval
Remember back in high school when you broke into your parent's liquor cabinet and went crazy on Schnapps?  Yeah, it was great huh?  But once you can buy your own liquor, you should really chose something that is actually worth the price.  Don't go for the wimpy alochol. 

No.5 Non-martini "tini"
Ever heard of the appletini or the cosmo?  Of course you have.  Have you heard a man ordering these?  It's highly unlikely because they are serious girl drinks.  Don't get me wrong - I love me some fancy martinis.  But they are so girly.  If you boys insist on ordering a martini - go for the classic vodka or gin martini.


No.4 "What she's having"Haven't we already discussed this?  Women's drinks aren't for men.  So ordering the same thing as your date is a definite no-no.  OK, wait, boys, I will give you permission on ONE thing, if your woman orders something like a Scotch on the rocks you are good to go.  But that's not exactly the most common girl drink - so err on the side of caution.

No.3 Whatever you want
Ok, fine.  You are a man, order what the hell you want.  If you look like a sissy you deal with it. 

No.2 Sex on the Beach
Sex on the Beach is great if you are actually having sex on the beach.  But drinking it?  Yeah, not so great - even for girls.  Many of us ordered it early on because it sounded so risque.  But it's not risque at all.  It's just a sissy drink for sissy girls.  (and I'm totally ok with being a sissy girl!)

No.1 Alcopop
A new term for me.... alocopop is the bottled malt beverages.   While it's very great to come home at night - pop the top on an alocholic soda - going out and ordering such a beverage is just silly.  Not only are you paying a HUGE markup, you are missing out on all the stuff that's out there.  Mixology is all the rage these days and paying nearly the same price you can have some great drink.