Massage Van

I'm a huge fan of food trucks.  I love the idea that good food can be mobile and come to you.  It's great.  I think it's also a good idea as people branch out the truck trend and start to bring mobile services to us. 

But I think I'm going to have to draw the line here.  To convert a "rape van" into a portable massage van just seems like a recipe for disaster. 

But hey, $40 for a massage is not a bad deal.  If they come by my office I might have to seriously think about it.

Quick AND easy abs

Hint guys.... Girls love built guys.  But I know, it's a lot of work. 

I'm here to provide you a quick and easy short cut. Check out the ABhancer.  You can get a 6 pack in SECONDS.  Just wrap the ABhancer around your stomach and poof... in seconds you have a great 6 pack!

For my small booby friends!

You've heard me in the past talk in earnest about my big boobs - and often about others big boobs as well.  But hey, I'm an equal opportunity type girl and I had to give a shout out to my small boob sisters (and this is way overdue) 

Again, from the Frisky, here is a list of 10 reasons to LOVE small boobs.  My comments (and jealousies in italic)

1. They are cute. They just are. They look friendly and happy and sweet.
Heck yeah, those little round perky boobs are great!


2. You can wear something really low-cut. I don’t dare, because I am scared of things no one should be scared of and also freakishly modest. But in theory, you can. And you probably should, if you have small boobs. Just to do it.
Us big boob girls can barely wear a simple tank top or v-neck shirt without being indecent.  I would love to wear a cute very low cut shirt/dress/anything without feeling like I'm putting myself on display!

3. You don’t look “slutty,” necessarily. Sluttiness is a dumb concept. No one should be thought slutty at all, because it’s just dumb. And certainly no one should be thought slutty based on the basic shape of her body. But it happens. When my large-breasted friends walk down the street in a parka and plaid overalls and clumpy work boots, they get uninvited attention of a sexual nature, because of their breasts. I know, because all of my large-breasted friends wear that outfit, all the time. But to my point: I wear that same thing, and I get no attention at all. Which is nice. And then I wear a scandalously sexy, skin-tight outfit, and I also get no attention! I’m kidding. What I mean to say is, people say, “Oh, that looks nice! You’re so elegant.”
Yup, big boobs have a negative connotation - especially because of all those stripper types going crazy with the implants.  Big boobs often make you look like you are asking for it, and you are just trying to carry these huge ass bags without harming someone.

4. You can look elegant pretty easily. See above.
Fine line between elegant and sleezy.  Lots of cleavage = sleezy.

5. The nipples are showcased. And nipples are interesting. I don’t want to say much more about nipples, because it makes me feel awkward and inappropriate. But I think they’re pretty. OK, that’s it.
I knew someone else felt that way.  There are some serious wrong proportions going on when you have huge ass boobs and teeny nipples.  It just looks weird, so for those girls with small boobs they can pull off the nipples, and they actually look like they belong


6. You can sometimes go braless. I went through a phase, last summer, where I did this, and it was incredibly fun and exhilarating. I felt free. I felt daring. I felt like yelling, “Hello, New York City! I’m not wearing a bra!!” But I didn’t, and then I felt like it was this sexy secret that everyone was probably whispering about. They definitely weren’t, but I talked about how empowered I was with my friends, a lot, and that was nice. After wearing a bra for approximately half my life, it was shocking to realize that actually, it was sort of optional. And then I got stuck in this freezing cold restaurant at a party for like four hours, and carried on a lot of charming little conversations with my arms crossed over my chest. So I’m not ready to give up on bras completely. But I still stand by my right to occasionally go boldly without.
Ahh, braless!  That would be so nice.  But not gonna happen for us big boobs... You know that pencil test?  Yeah - I FAIL that sucker - probably I could keep a dozen of so up there. 

7. You can wear a strapless dress without it being a big deal. I will do this, after I stop being really scared of what will happen if I lift my arms up. Which I need to do all the time– as we all do. My wedding gown was strapless. But that was more because all wedding gowns are strapless, and I had no choice. Still, it was empowering. I know I can do it again, some day, if I keep my arms down.
I can't say I'm a huge fan of the strapless -- mostly because usually they really "show off" the boobs - again, you look like you have a big shelf.

8. You can do yoga without even noticing them. I like not having to think about my breasts when they’re not playing an important role in whatever’s going on. Like if I’m jogging (which I almost never am, but it’s happened once or twice). Or if I’m playing a sport (ping pong), or if I need to be upside down at any point.
Like any stretching or moving - these things get in the way! 

9. They don’t sag. I kinda don’t want to brag about the whole “they don’t sag!” thing, because it sounds more like an insult to big breasts and older women than a compliment to smaller ones and younger women. I’m also not sure I want to unquestioningly support firm perkiness. Last time I checked, breasts were made out of fat, and fat is squishy. And while I do have one friend with mysteriously perky natural boobs, and they are indeed spectacular, they are also the exception. And softness is really nice. Sagginess probably just means you’re older than 35, and some day I too hope to be older than 35. So instead of all that– how about #9 is “They feel good.” People don’t spend enough time talking about how nice small breasts feel. Sometimes I catch myself just feelin’ mine up. It’s sort of comforting. That is maybe the weirdest thing I’ve admitted to on the internet. They fit nicely in the hands. They are like little pillows of happiness.
Sagging.  You can be a young woman (under 30) and these big fun bags still sag.  It doesn't seem to matter how well you take care of them - good bras and sports bras working out - they still end up sagging.  God knows what mine are going to look like in another 30 years.

10. Not to be sappy, but they do the really important stuff. They feel good when they’re played with. They have the ability to provide milk for a baby, which is badass. They’re womanly and pretty. They’re often charming in profile. And even though all of those things are true for big boobs, too, small boobs do it with their own special style. They do it while being awesome for all of the other nine reasons. They might be in a strapless dress while doing it. You never know. Small boobs are full of surprises.
All boobs do great things! 

My favorite boy band member is.... gay?!?

I'm a child of the 80's, as such I grew up in the era of the big boy bands.  Think New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, and 'NSync.  I have to say that I was much more of a fan of the New Kids and 'NSync.  And much like every other tween and teenage girl I had my favorite boy bander. 

At the onset of elementary school I was seriously into the New Kids.  Of course, so was every other little girl at our school.  In fact, my very first concert was Tiffani and the New Kids at the Ionia Free Fair (think 4-H or County Fair - not exactly a huge venue!).  And like many of the other girls we supported our favorite boy bander with buttons.  And these weren't just any buttons, they were the BIG buttons that were the size of dinner plates.  Girls wore these buttons as a badge of honor and I'm sure mothers everywhere HATED them because they had to just put massive holes in our shirts.

Most girls loved the young, cute, lead "singer" of the groups.  Think Justin Timberlake or Joey McIntyre.  Some of the more bad ass (as bad ass as you can be in elementary school and middle school)  girls liked the bad boys in the group (think Donnie or Joey Fatone).  But, I wasn't either of them.  me, I liked the quiet one, the guy that even in this very popular group seemed to be the underdog.  Me, I loved the Lance Bass and the Jonathan McKnight type.

Fast forward to adult-hood, both these and mine.  We began to hear more and more about these boy banders growing up.  First, Lance Bass comes out of the closet.  Great, good for him.  I'm extremely supportive of people accepting who they truly are.  Next, Jonathan McKnight comes out.  Good for him, I hope he finds the love of his life and is happy forever.

But, shit... what does that say about me?  I was really into TWO boy bands, and I'm two for two on picking the ONE gay boy to worship. And god forbid I go into my love of the one and only Ricky Martin.  again gay.

Apparently I not only like to go for the celebrity crushes that are unlikely to happen, I go for the ones that will NEVER happen because these boys don't even like my girlie parts.  

I think I need to start getting into hard rock or something, maybe rap... where I can fall in love with those who aren't gay.  Then again, you never know about those rockers - they do like makeup and skin tight pants... and don't even get me going on the how "down low" thing.

Maybe I should just stick to reality and stay away from my celebrity crushes, apparently my gaydar is just very off.

** And I will note, in NO WAY do I not support homosexuality, I'm just more alarmed at myself for always falling for the gay ones **