Alcohol and IQ. Booze actually makes men starter - no shit!

Earlier this week I posted about drinks that men should never order.  But I never thought I would say that you should actually drink!  I've never been a huge proponent of drinking.  Sure it helps you escape - but it's only temporary and the next day you feel like shit (or at least I do)....

But shit, a new study from the University of Illinois at Chicago psychologists found that alcohol actually makes people smarter.  Yeah, believe it or not - booze actually boosts people creative problem-solving skills. 

40 young men were tested.  20 were required to stay sober (yeah, those unlucky bastards!) and 20 were "required" to drink until their blood alcohol level was 0.07 - 0.01 short of what most states consider intoxicated.  The drunk guys solved 40% more of the brainteasers given -- and in a faster time than the sober men.  (Granted, the sober guys might just have been pissed they weren't supposed to drink!)

So, do you need to do some problem solving - drink up bitches!

Healthy Reasons to Have Sex Right NOW.

Yesterday, on New Years Eve, I suggested you all resolve to do something actually reasonable (Resolution Time) and resolve to have more sex in 2011.  So today, lets explore why it's such a good, and HEALTHY reason to make this resolution, and I'm not blowing smoke up your ass here (pun maybe intended - we are talking about sex!)... And this is actually scientifically proven, this shit comes from a real news source, CBSNews and they quoted WebMD. . . So hot damn. 

You know, being the "family" channel - CBS stresses that sex should be in a loving relationship, and I say that's probably the optimal way, but hey, if you can't get in a long term relationship... I'm sure there are other ways to sexercise.  Just open up Craig's List... I know "Adult Services" doesn't Exist anymore, so you can't pick up hookers (or escorts for you more high class folks) but Casual Encounters is still going strong last time I checked and that works just as well.  Check out my blog on Craig's List Changes - No more "Adult Services!" 

So on to the Top 10 Reasons why you should resolve to have sex now!

1. Sex Relieves Stress
According to researchers in Scotland (reporting their findings in the journal of Biological Psychology - I'm constantly amazed at the number of Scientific publications - I wonder who reads all of them!), sex lowers blood pressure and provides overall stress reduction.  The researchers studied 24 women and 22 men who kept records of their sexual activity over time while the researchers subjected them to stressful situations like speaking in public and doing verbal arithmetic and noted their blood pressure in response to stress.  Lets just hope they didn't make them perform sexual acts while they were doing those stressful situations...  But the sexed up people had better responses to stress than those who engaged in other sexual behaviors or abstained. 

2. Sex Boosts Immunity

So having sex once or twice a week (not even all that much actually) has been linked with higher levels of an antibody (warning science content!) called  immunoglobulin A or IgA.  This antibody can protect you from getting colds and other infections (yes, that science content was worth it).  So, some scientists at Wilkes University took samples of saliva (spit for us uncivilized) which contained IgA from 112 college kids who reported their frequency of sex.  Those in the "frequent sex" group (once or twice a week - really for college kids?  that's it??? - had higher levels of IgA than the other 3 groups - those who reported being abstinent, or having sex less than once a week. 

3. Sex Burns Calories
"Sex is a great mode of exercise," says Patti Britton, PhD, a Los Angeles sexologist and president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators and Therapists. It takes work, from both a physical and psychological perspective, to do it well, she says.  Like I said in the Resolution Time blog, Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. It may not sound like much, but it adds up: 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, more than enough to lose a pound. Doubling up, you could drop that pound in 21 hour-long sessions.

4. Sex Improves Cardiovascular Health
So, Hugh Hefner just engaged on Christmas Day to a 24 year old Playboy model.  I don't know about you, but I would think he might keel over during a good love making session.  Now, guess what... apparently I'm way wrong!  In a study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, scientists found frequency of sex was not associated with stroke in the 914 men they followed for 20 years.  The researchers also found that having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half for the men, compared with those who had sex less than once a month.  Sounds like Mr. Hefner is probably healthier than the rest of us with all the sex he's had over the years.  Hell, good luck to him!

5. Sex Boosts Self-Esteem
Seriously who can feel bad about themselves when someone likes them enough to want to see them naked and want them enough to have sex with them?  Yeah, no...  Now, I think this study is a little hookey, but apparently Boosting self-esteem was one of the 237 reasons people have sex -makes me wonder what the other 236 reasons were!  Gina Ogden, PhD, a sex therapist and marriage and family therapist in Cambridge, Mass says, "One of the reasons people say they have sex is to feel good about themselves. Great sex begins with self-esteem, and it raises it. If the sex is loving, connected, and what you want, it raises it."


6. Sex Improves Intimacy

Dang, this article was filled with research, researchers, and studies... But what else do I expect from a real news source!  Doing it and having orgasms while doing it increases the level of the hormone oxytocin (not to be confused with OxyContin which is a very strong pain drug that people like to abuse but also gives you that whoo-whoo feeling...).  Oxytocin, also called the love hormone helps us bond and trust (what you don't want for one ngiht stands!)   Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh and the University of North Carolina evaluated 59 premenopausal women before and after warm contact with their husbands and partners ending with hugs. Tey found that the more contact, the higher the oxytocin levels.  So, side note... if you want to avoid that bonding and trusting... avoid the extra contract, the extra snuggling at the end... think wham, bam, and thank you ma'am...  Not my preferred method, but if you don't want to have the attachments of intimacy but with the health benefits... avoid the oxytocin!

7. Sex Reduces Pain
But, for pain reduction... lets keep that oxytocin going ...  as the oxytocin increases so do endorphins and pain declines.  Awesome news for those headaches, arthritis, backaches, or for the women in the audience - PMS!  More studies.....   In a study published in the Bulletin of Experimental Biology and Medicine, 48 volunteers who inhaled oxytocin vapor and then had their fingers pricked lowered their pain threshold by more than half.  Not bad odds, and I'll take it... 

8. Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk
For the men in the audience, this is excellent news... especially as the incidence of prostate cancer seems to rise each year.  If men ejaculate five or more times weekly in their 20's (that's less than once a day - and from stories I hear - that's NOTHING if you are just counting self pleasure and not even counting the sex!), especially those in their 20's, it may reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life by a third. Another study, reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association, found that frequent ejaculations, 21 or more a month, were linked to lower prostate cancer risk in older men, as well, compared with less frequent ejaculations of four to seven monthly.

9. Sex Strengthens Pelvic Floor Muscles
And for the women, doing a few pelvic floor muscle exercises known as Kegels during sex offers a couple of benefits. (And if you don't know what Kegels are - look it up RIGHT NOW!) You will enjoy more pleasure, and you'll also strengthen the area and help to minimize the risk of incontinence later in life.  Besides, the fact that stronger pelvic floor muscles provide for better sex for you AND your partner!

10. Sex Helps You Sleep Better
And more good news on the oxytocin... it helps promote sleep, which also helps you meet new years resolution #2 in Resolution Time post!  And we know what a great think sleep is!

How do you flirt?

More of those researchers have been researching - this time on how people flirt.  Dr. Jeffrey Hall, at the University of Kansas has been interviewing people about their flirting styles, dating histories, and have come up with 5 basic styles of flirting.  Everyone basically fits into one of these categories, and learning about your style (or lack of style) of flirting can help you hone your skills and maybe pick up the man or woman of your dreams. 

One can only assume that if you understand how you flirt that it can only help you flirt better and more effectively!  So keep reading, and let someone crazy Physiological Doctor who lives out in farm country help you. 

1.  The Physical Flirt:
Those woman and men who aren't afraid to express a sexual interest in the man and/or woman they are interested in (I'm being fair here, all sexual interests are welcomed here!)  The physical flirt fall into relationships quickly and deeply.  They have a lot of emotional connections and red hot sexual chemistry that burns hard and fast.  You know the type.  She wears the red hot dress and leads with her lips.  She falls in love quickly but also falls out of love as quickly. 

2. The Traditional Flirt:
Traditional Flirts have old-school values and tend to think that men should pursue women (think Patti Stanger and Millionaire Matchmaker style).  The Male traditional flirt usually believes that the male should get to know the woman as a person before he tries to date her as a woman.   Now the traditional woman flirt often has a very hard time, because by her own standards, she really can't flirt. 


3. The Polite Flirt:

The Polite Flirts follow all the rules (yeah, probably not all that fun!)  and flirt in a non-sexual manner.  The polite flirt is slow to approach a person they are interested in - but once they enter a relationship - those relationships are meaningful and long. 

4. The Sincere Flirt:
The sincere flirt is exactly that - sincere.  They want to know exactly how you are doing, what you are like and want to make a sincere emotional connection with you.  More woman prefer this flirting method than men (and I'm not saying this is because men are not sincere - this is what the researchers say!!! Take it as they say.)  But the relationships of the sincere flirts tend to be meaningful - which is always a positive thing.

5. The Playful Flirt:
While it sounds like a positive thing... playful sounds fun... right?  Oh, but no!  Playful flirts, flirt not as a "means to an end" but rather for their own self esteem.  According to Dr. Hall, most playful flirts aren't interested in long term dating - and are less likely to have meaningful relationships.  But ... with all their playful flirting - they feel damn good about themselves!

So?  I will not tell you what I think I am... I'll leave that up to you.  I'm sure you can peg that pretty easily :)  How about you/  What are you?  Does it help or even hurt you dating?

Sex Rules you SHOULD break.

So... women (and men even) often have misconceptions about sex. Believe it or not, rules are made to be broken!  So, thefrisky.com looks at 9 Sex Rules are should be broken. 

9. You Definitely Shouldn't Fantasize About Someone Else

Ian Kerner, PhD and editor-in-cheif of Good in Bed says that "In my experience, woman fantasize way more than men do.  Men tend to only fantasize if they're bored and want to keep themselves aroused.  Women are often very engaged by the sex they're having and fantasize anyway -- it's a great way to mentally deactivate."  And you know what that means...  No, you dont'?  Ohh, ok - well let me tell you.  Fantasies are fine!  They keep the fire alive.  They are just that - fantasies, not reality.  Frisky.com says, "Get as raunchy as you want to within the four walls of your mind. And, really, who's gonna know?"  And I really like that advice, of course, anything that says, "raunchy" is an A+ in my book.  And note, for those who find themselves in bed with that dreaded tiny peen or that guy who is just really shitty at sex... fantasizing... it can help you get through a very horrid sexual experience and turn it into a mildly ok one.  Trust me, I'm a frequent fantasizer, if you catch my drift.  But these fantasies, not needed quite as much if you catch a good one! 


8 . Toys Will Scare Him
Toys?  Like Tonka Trucks.  Yeah, no.  Here's a fact for you guys... Women already know this!  only 30% of woman orgasm from intercourse alone.  Thefrisky.com suggests the "wevibe" a sextoy that can be used during intercourse for both you and him...  I have to say, I'm a true fan of the sex toy in alone play, but I can't say I've introduced it into couple play - not that the thought hasn't crossed my mind... 
 
7. Men Really Don't Like "Going There"
Our new friend, Ian Kerner also wrote a book called, "She Comes First"... a book about men "going down on women."  OK, women... please a round of applause for Mr. Kerner!  Thank you!  Now men, please click on the link to the left, get over your fears of it, and suck it up (pun maybe intended...) and buy the book and please learn...    Now, Mr. Kerner says that "In my experience, 90 percent of discomfort around oral sex comes from women who are afraid they don't taste or smell good, or are afraid they're taking too long. Women need to know that guys love doing this, and it allows them to relax and enjoy in a way they often can't during sex." Now, I don't know about this.  I would say I run about a 50/50 percentage, half the guys are ok with it, half act like "down there" is toxic.  Of course - shit - maybe it's me.  Fuck.  I hope not.
 
6.You Have to Be "In the Mood" to Do It
More research (again, what's with all these little stupid articles I find and all these obscure research studies - obviously someone is funding this stuff somewhere!).  Apparently the latest female sexuality research is focused on "mindfulness" - a fancy buzz word meaning that we have a hard time transitioning from non-sexual thought to sexual thought.  So what about us that always has part of our brain thinking about sex (maybe because we are feeling a wee bit deprived...)  A Sex Therapist (yes, it's a real job and not just in the movies), Louanne Cole Weston provides the following advice for those who have a hard time turning the switch from on to off in sexual thoughts....

 1)  Focus on the "transitions." from on to off. It might mean a long hot bath or a short massage (now I much prefer the longer massages, but that's just me). "They're little acts that allow women to fully be there during sex as opposed to being persuaded into it,"
2) the mindfulness part: When the actual act of sex and/or foreplay starts (some people have strange definitions of both)... , try breathing in and out, focusing on your breath, then honing in on the silkiness of the sheets, the smoothness of his skin, or the taste of the dark-chocolate-dipped strawberries he's lovingly feeding you. (yeah, who gets that kind of romance - certainly not me - I'm lucky if I can get kisses before a wham! bam! thank you ma'am!)  This careful attention to sensual detail can be what it takes to get you in the mood -- even if you thought that's the last place you wanted to be.

5. You Should Never Talk Sex With Your Friends

OK.  Of course you should talk sex, IN GENERAL, with your friends.  Who is going to tell you the best tricks, tips and techniques.  Yes, I'm serious.  Don't give nasty details including who you are sleeping with.  No one wants to be able to picture exactly the act, including the person.  That just puts too many pictures in someone's head, and if they want to hear exactly about it - they are a freak and probably you don't want them to be your friend anyway....  But outside of your friends, keep mumm.  Your gossipy coworker doesn't need to know about your sex life (umm, I can provide you that nugget of advice from experience), and no one really cares about how good you are at bjs - well, unless you write a semi popular anonymous blog that is fairly well received and read around the world (know anyone like this?)

4. You Should Never Do It on the First Date
Humm, let me start out by saying, I'm guilty of putting out on the first date.  I'm also guilty of walking out within 15 min of starting a first date.  I've also been stood up, and been left halfway through a first date.  Hell, first dates are not exactly my favorite.  If it was my choice I would skip to date 4 or 5 if I could.  Frisky.com says that, "By all means, act on your right to extract as much pleasure from the evening as possible. And without sounding like your mother, we'd just like to say this: Anyone who tells you otherwise is just jealous. There will likely come a time when these where-am-I-who-is-he? mornings are things of the past, and the only thing you'll regret then is passing up the chance."  And I'll take their quote on this one.   

3. It's OK to Fake It
I am in 100% agreement with thefrisky.com when they say, "It is never OK to fake it."  Thank god someone has finally said that.  When you women fake it - you are doing nothing for yourself - or womenkind in general.  You are only just encouraging bad behavior in men.  If they think they are pleasuring you and doing it ALL wrong and achieving the end goal, you are just teaching them bad behaviors.  Seriously, don't let them get away with that. Tell him the truth, don't just do it for you - do it for all the woman that will follow you.  Please, and thank you.

2. Porn Is the Enemy
OK, take porn for what it is.  Actors and Actresses acting out fantasies on screen.  No, you don't have to pretend you are one of them - they are professionals, if you can't bend (or stretch ) like that - it's fine!  Use a modification of that pose, or a modification of that idea and use it as a way to turn each other on. 

1. It Has to Be Perfect
Sex is not perfect, in fact it's pretty messy if it's good, and if you are too worried about your body being perfect or your underwear being perfect you aren't going to enjoy yourself.  So relax.  Please just sit back and relax (but not too much - no one wants a lazy fish lover!). Sex is awkward, arms, legs and torsos can get mixed up and end up everywhere.  Laughter is the best medicine (and to be arguably the biggest turn on!)  If you aren't having fun, call me up... I'll switch places with you and I'm sure I'll have fun with your man.