Why men love being single.

So it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that men love being single.  Really, most guys if given the choice would be out living up the single life if they had the choice (at least that's my impression) - especially in their younger years.  Yes, it's great to have someone to tap every once in awhile - but why not have multiple women to tap and not have any commitments?  Yeah, ahh the life?  (or so I get the impression - now remember, I'm definitely NOT a man - so I cannot comment on their thoughts, feelings and dreams).  Instead, I am counting on a bachelor and dating blogger Abraham Lloyd to tell me the 5 Things Men Love About Being Single

Make no mistake, men love being coupled up…but they dig being single, too. We asked bachelor and dating blogger Abraham Lloyd for his take on the 5 Things that Men love about Being Single  Now you know how I hate to be judgemental and especially to judge people on first impressions, but I do have to seriously question this blogger's name - Abraham Lloyd?  Were his parents trying to prevent him from dating and reproducing?  Because that name is just horrible... I really hope it's a pen name he made up to make himself look stupid - otherwise, I would probably look into changing it - sorry dude, but it's just not a good name.  The parts are ok by themselves - together that's just bad.  But I have to trust him, he's claiming to be a man with an extra appendage between his legs (size TBD) and claiming to have "expert" knowledge on the 5 things that men love about being single - and from my assessment, he's had a lot of experience being single!

1. He can flirt. Mr. Lloyd (is that better than Abraham?  Because when I say Abraham I automatically think of a Biblical person and then I don't think I really should be referencing some of the things I will be referencing!) says that men love to flirt and as single men they feel free to "flirt early, flirt often, flirt always, and flirt with whomever you want." And as single men they can flirt guilt-free, without worrying whether they're crossing the line.  You know what, I don't blame men.  Flirting is fun.  I flirt with everyone - married, single, engaged, attached.  It's all in fun, I really don't mean anything by it.  And damn, it gets me and the man in TROUBLE.  And that's trouble with all capital letters!  Those attached to some women (and NOT all women are like this) will get yelled at.  And I get called the big ass bitch who is trying to take their man.  Yes, I can understand why a man would want to be single so he can flirt.

2. He can be selfish. Mr. Lloyd tells us that single men have no "real" commitments to some broad (my word) - he can call shots 100% of the time and he doesn't have to sacrifice.   Umm yeah, I think that's a positive for anyone.  Who really wants to have to (as a girl) hang out with his retarded friends  watching sports or as a guy hang out with her prissy friends shopping at the mall.  And those are just minor examples.  I hear people bitching every day about shit they have to do because their boyfriend wants to or their girlfriend wants to.  Yeah, maybe being in a relationship isn't all that great.

3. He can focus. He says that without a a woman in his life he can focus on all those things in your life that aren't your love life - you know the stuff that you like to do.  Because when you are in a relationship it seems to require all your focus.  I have to ask.... what kind of relationships are you people in?  Apparently I haven't been in those kind of relationships.  I try to keep my relationships as part of my life and not my WHOLE life.  How can you be a good boyfriend or girlfriend if you lose the rest of your life?  You'd be a pretty boring lover and person if you gave up everything if you got in a relationship. 

4. He can live apologetically. Ohh, he says that no girlfriend means fewer chances to mess up. "In Love Story, Ali McGraw shared one of the love lines of all-time when she said 'Being in love means never having to say I'm sorry,'" Lloyd says, adding, "Well, being single means having to say I'm sorry even less."  Wow.  I get that!  I fuck up all the time.  Men do too.  No one wants to apologize for their actions to someone else - that just blows. 

5. The world is his oyster. Mr. Lloyd (ok, Lloyd is no better of a name, it is spelled and just looks weird, but that's just my opinion!)  says that being single means that you get to choose your next relationship. you have all the options in the world (umm, no shit!).  So instead of having to worry about "settling" with your current mate you can think about who you can have.  Otherwise known as fantasy.... Hello?!?  Why do you want to always be looking for someone better?  I think this is the worst thing about being single!  I don't want to think about all the options I have - I just want to find the one that works for me..  Too many options can be a bad thing.  Think about a huge buffet.  There are a ton of options, but really you only like one thing - why try all the things you don't like when the one thing that you know is good for you and that you like is right in front of you?  Doesn't make sense to me!!

Online dating site for ... VIRGINS.

Yes, it really does exist.  http://www.youandmearepure.com/ is a dating site for virgins and virgins only (I would imagine they highly discourage men who just want to de-virginize "little girls" and I don't know know many, if any girls who want a virgin man)

To sign up you have to "certify" and sign the following statement:

NOTE: THIS IS A SITE FOR VIRGIN PEOPLE ONLY. Dear virgin applicant, DO NOT provide incomplete or false information about yourself when you complete this page to avoid termination of your free Standard Membership. Your personal information will be kept CONFIDENTIAL per our Privacy Policy. Any visitor to our website who is not a virgin but is intimately abstaining, consider joining www.youandiabstain.com . All other non-virgin visitors are welcome to invite their close virgin friends and/or relatives to join our site"

Really?  You are going to call them (and I say them, because I'm certainly not going to count - we've highly established THAT fact!) the virgin applicant - that's just strange.  And it's even stranger that there is also another "branch" of the site called http://www.youandiabstain.com/.  Ohh, but WAIT, as a non-virgin, I can certainly invite my close virgin friends and/or relatives to join the site (now I just find to find one - the only ones I can think of that are still virgins aren't old enough to date - so I wouldn't want them joining any dating site on the internet anyway!!) 

One of the questions they ask cracks my shit up.  The question: I am a virgin, the "possible" answers:
1) 100% - I get that.  No questions here.
2) Less than 100%, but have not had intercourse - umm exactly have YOU done.  Guess that's a question for when the two virgins get together and compare their conquests.  It just makes me think - what exactly "IS" sex :)  You know, is anal sex, sex?  How about the bj?  What really makes a virgin, a virgin - uh ohhh.  Virgin fight! 

But what's even better is that they have a STORE!  And in that store you can become a card carrying V-Card member.  Yes, you can become a card carrying member of the V-card clan.  I love it.  Hilarious.  For $3.50 you can buy the card to the left, the women's version has pink lettering, the male version blue.  Now I can just see someone pulling this out on a date as "proof"  And I'm not sure if this is intentional - but does the picture on the card look like ovaries and penis' - strange.  You can also get the trendy plastic bracelet saying that you are a virgin. 

I imagine the clientele on the website is young idealists (think high school age kids who had abstinence pounded into their head) and wore purity rings.  Thanks Jonas brothers for making that "popular."  You know that won't last forever, or very long after the popularity wears off.  I also see the ultra religious types who see it as God's choice (some day I will tell you about my Christian upbringing and the rest of my family's churchgoing ways - and my not church going ways!).  And lastly, the guys who live in Mom's basement - still at 35 and are a virgin not by choice but by chance.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I respect those who are virgins and wait until they get married or wait until they find someone they truly love.  Blah, blah.  Way to go.  It's not my choice - it just wasn't practical for me (someday I will probably rot in hell for that and every other bad decision I've made, but damn - it's been fun doing it!).  But it cracks me up how every subset of the population has their own online dating website.  If I can't find a man on a dating site for EVERYONE - I can't go to a subset of the population - that would just limit my chances! 

Sex: One Sad Girls' History, or one girl's sad history.

One thing that this blog and I have established over the last couple of months since I started writing this is that I'm a bit of a fan of sex - but this wasn't always the case.  And apparently this is memories week - because we are going back... way back to High School again.

Like many people I know, I lost my big ol' V card in High School, but I wasn't a super early bloomer.  It was in my 17th year, as a junior.  And let me tell you - back in the midwest, that's not so early...  Our county had the highest teen pregnancy rate - 13%.  (And while I'm a very intelligent girl - I finished as #2 in a class of well over 200 students, still to this day I feel like a dumb ass that in one of my classes for the longest time I couldn't figure out why this girl rushed out nearly every single morning.  It wasn't until months later when she started getting really "fat" that it dawned on me that she must be pregnant - thank god I didn't say something stupid to her - although, I think my diarrhea of the mouth has developed to be "better" with age, and it's much "better" or what other people would call, worse - these days.  I used to only make slight mistakes back then.) 

Anyway, back to the subject at hand.  I'm very good at the sidebar stories, but often forget to get back to the subject!  So highschool, lose virginity. I breakup with high school boyfriend, let me let you in on a little secret... I didn't like it, really nothing about it.  Honestly, sex and the whole shabang had no real redeeming qualities about it.  Yes, believe it or not.  I didn't give two shits about sex.  And you and you, close your mouth.  I know you can't believe it - but it's true.  I didn't care about the bj (I wasn't good), sex was a give or take, kisses was fun, but that's all I really needed. 

Bring on college, right.  All the booze, late night parties and sex a girl could want.  Right?  Try a very Conservative Christian college (in the county with the highest percentage of Republicans in the nation - and hey, I got NO problem with the GOP but with a overage of any one "type" of people and it's overkill - especially when they are zealots, and hello - crazy zealots!).  And a dry campus (and we are talking REALLY dry, no alochol), ohh and wait, a strict curfew (with people checking on you), no men in girls rooms and the likewise (also with people checking on you), and and here is the kicker - there were supposedly 5 girls to every 1 guy.  And while I'm not going to check the stats exactly right now, it's pretty damn true.  And I wasn't a sorority girl who was going to give it up to every guy.  (and oh yeah, I did have a reason to go to the college, my education was great, and I paid a huge price for it - would I do it again - ummm, I'd have to think very seriously about that one!)

SO, for four years I... avoided the avid church goers and their very condensing ways (and their thrice weekly "church services" on campus), drank in secret (gotta love the nalgene bottle! when I did (or traveled to the nearest big town (30 min away and went the Midwest version of "clubbing"), helped friends sneak their boytoys into their rooms, and lastly didn't get ANY ass of my own - but really didn't care about it.  Like I said before, I didn't miss what I didn't know!

I entered the world of DC.  And about a year into my "adventure" and a couple of failed relationships I meet a man we shall call "M."  M, thank you.  I hold his cock dear to my heart.  For his cock opened doors to me for which I never shall be able to explain.  Sex is good, Sex is great, Sex is good exercise (also a high school joke).  But above all else, sex is highly enjoyable!. 

So that's my story,  I shall stick to it, and from now on - I shall love sex.  No thanks to shitty high school sex, and my celibate period during college.  But thanks to one man in 2004 I was "cured" forever! 

Diarrhea of the Mouth

Years and years ago, and many men ago, I was told I had "diarrhea of the mouth."    What is that you ask?  Well, I have a problem of speaking before I think about what I say.  Yes, I just blurt out before I really realize the ramifications of what I say (this also goes for typing as well). 

Let's discuss.

I have a long history of finding myself deep in a conversation - often about something serious.  The conversation can be between me and just one other person or multiple people.  But the result is all the same.  The conversation will be rolling along at a nice clip.  And then I make a comment without thinking.  It will be highly inappropriate on accident.  Something totally not funny, accidentally inappropriate for "mixed company", or something totally off the wall that offends someone in the group. 

All of a sudden everyone gets quiet, looks at me and can't believe what I said.  Yes.  I'm THAT person.  That one.  It's not that I mean it.  Lets just say that we are deep in a conversation about your ex girlfriend.  You are telling me about how it didn't go so well and that the breakup was a bit hard.  I reply in a joking manner, "Bitch!"  The look I get from you, the questioning look, you know part offended, part unbelief that I would call your ex, a woman I didn't know, a woman that you loved, a woman that you aren't quite over yet a bitch - how dare I?  Oops.  Yes, I was just trying to be funny, but I failed!  Again, the diarrhea of the mouth gets me again! 

The funny thing is that I'm a bit of a control freak in every other part of my life.  I control my thoughts, my emotions, my moves.  I control everything I do down to the letter.  But put me in a situation where I have to think on my feat and can't plan and control my every move, I end up with diarrhea of the mouth. 

So next time someone says something inappropriate, think of me... and just smile and laugh.  It's just because they didn't think first. 

Using dating as a "cure" for being poor.

I have a good job, with a decent paycheck.  But unfortunately I have a lot of bills that take a great chunk of paycheck usually sooner than I get it.  Otherwise, the paycheck comes in and it's already gone - poof.  No money.  So, what's a girl to do?  I've made a list. . . Some are practical, some are not.

1. second job?  (humm, I already work between 10-14 hours a day during the week and usually put in about 10-20 hours in during the weekend - I'm a workaholic, sorry!.  I don't think the second job thing will work. 

2. selling craft stuff/ebay "junk". (well, there is a distinct possibility here - I have a lot of crafty stuff I do.  If people can sell crap on etsy that is really "crap" check out http://www.regretsy.com/ I make some stuff that is actually really cute and people might want it! Check out the cool rosette canvas I made for behind the couch - it's actually pretty neat-o)

3. Hooking, or selling myself.  (ok, I've been told it's not really a viable option - but if I'm as good of a bj giver as I've been told, couldn't I sell that and make some serious cash?  Humm, think about it.  But not too seriously - not could get me in trouble!

4.  Use men.  (This is ticket, and the reason I shall write tonight.  Granted, not the "way" I have chosen, but it might just be the funniest and most controversial and we know I love to stir up a little controversy...

So, use men, or use women, or whatever your preference might be.  If you are poor, you need extra money - you don't really need cash - right.  All you really need is some bills taken care of.  How about the basics?  Lets discuss food first.  Yes, food.  Dates are great for food.  I suggest actively start trying to find men, I would think getting online and getting serious about meeting guys for first dates.  Make sure you suggest a higher end place to end where you like the food, and the portions are generous.  And MAKE sure that you don't get caught with the bill.  It's highly important that he doesn't run out on you, and you don't get stuck paying because most likely you wouldn't be able to pay anyway.

Order what you want, and make sure and over order so you can get lunch the next day.  (think of it as a 2 for one deal.   Make sure you suffer through dinner even if you don't like him.  Just think of it as a job and you really are there just for the food.  Score, you have two meals out of one date.  Just think, less money out of your pocket. 

And then keep dating, bonus if he'll take you out again - but make sure you don't keep dating the guy long enough that he wants to start going dutch with the bill - because god knows you are only in this for the food!  Otherwise, keep dating other guys, it's a great cost savings measure! 

Humm, sounds good.  Does anyone want to go out?  I'm thinking steak. 

Obsessive women worries. You know men don't care about them...

Yes, as a women I worry about the little things - you know all kinds of shit that I can and cannot change.  I obsess about all kinds of shit from a silly zit on my forward to how I look when I eat.  (umm, if you've read this blog at all you will obviously know that I could be the queen of obsessions - but I keep it quiet, oh shit that's right...)  As women, we worry and obsess about all kinds of stupid stuff that men don't give two shits about (and probably don't notice)  and do you think that stops us?  Well, of course not!  But, you know I love me some lists that I find randomly online, and here is another one... 

10 Things Women Obsess Over That Most Men Don’t Care That Much About

1. Saggy Boobs -  Author Damon Young says that men love boobs (no shit!) and unless you have duct taped two deflated water balloons to your chest they are ok if they sag a big.  We've established the fact probably a bit too many times that I have big boobs.  And I'm not passing any "pencil test" any time soon.  (FYI, for those of you who don't know, a pencil test.... if you can stick a pencil under your boobs and it says you must always wear a bra.  I think my boobs popped out over night and I immediately failed the pencil test.  I went from no bra to a B cup.  I skipped the training bra and A cup all together.)  Saggy breasts aren't really a fact of life until you are much older - after child birth?  But wear your bras and don't run without a sports bra and you shouldn't worry about it.  And personal experience tells me that men love a little jiggle in the boobs. 

2. Stretch Marks - He says, as long as they’re not on your forehead, we’re good.  I gotta say, I do worry about mine!  I can't say I've ever had a discussion with anyone about our stretchmarks.  I think that's because we are so embarrassed of them.  Like boobs, I think they pop out overnight.  And hey, I have them on my boobs, my legs - and my tummy is clear of them (for long - but I haven't been pregnant yet!).  Maybe it's just because I'm "round" but damn, they are a little embarrassing, because you can't only see them - you can feel them too!  I can't say I obsess about them (often, because I think I just did - but that's only because this damn list made me!) but, they do bug me - so there must be others out there, and the fact that we don't regularly discuss them must be that we are embarrassed about them, either that or we don't give a shit (but I think it's the former).

3. How soon you’ve “given it up” -  He says that it's true that a guy might change his mind about you if you don't want a "suitable" (which is a completely arbitrary) about of time before sleeping with him but that really only matters if he really wasn't into you and is just looking for a reason to kick your ass to the curb.  Wait a damn second.  That's not fair.  How do you know what to do?  I gotta tell you, this is an obsession of mine.  How long do you wait?  What are you supposed to do?  Should you wait, should you just go at it right away?  Ahh, there is no good answer and it fucking sucks.  A guy is going to dump your ass if he doesn't like you - so what do you do?  This fucking blows.  So we can continue to obsess and there isn't much we can do. 

4. How much you eat - Author Damon Young is amazed at how many women order a Caesar salad and ice water on a date, and then cuts it short because her stomach is growling.  OK.  Yes, we worry about what we will eat and what we do eat on a date.  And let me tell you if you are worried about calories a Caesar isn't all that low in them!  I would have to say I worry more about how much it costs, if it's going to get messy (yes, I'm a klutz and we've spoken about the ol' Boob Shelf!)  I'm also worried about eating something that might upset my already nervous stomach.  Yeah, I obsess about food on a date - so live with it, and it's not because I'm worried about how much I eat or that some guy will think I eat too much (I might be a little on the "round" side but believe it or not I don't eat a whole lot - I just don't exercises a whole lot either - it comes with being a damn workaholic).  But my issue with food on a date is much bigger than just the calories.  Lets get back the first couple of dates and then I'll start eating "normally," until then let me obsess a little.  But know I'm not going to order a Caesar salad, I might order a Cobb, but that has bacon on it, and bacon makes everything better. 

5. Gifts - Apparently guy don't love gifts as everyone else, according to Mr. Damon Young, but their thoughts are more, “Cool. New stuff.” than “Wow! She really must have taken a lot of time to think about this.“ The thought doesn’t count any more than a gift card does.  Yeah, not good.  Girls think about things, we want the perfect gift that means something.  Don't you get it?  And we will get a bit pissy if you don't get it.  Humm.  guess that's one obsession I should gross off the list.  And I'm a bit on the "crafty" side so not only do I like to get the perfect gift I also like to craft and make the perfect card.  Yeah, I'm SOL

6. Whether your expert-level bedroom prowess will scare us away -   The guy who wrote this article has some blubber to say, and we know the shit guys always say - they don't care how many guys we've been with.  But when they ask our number the answer is always "5".  Don't tell them the real truth.  They don't want to know how you got so good at the blow job (don't tell them you read my blog on how to give a good BJ or read the Book, Tickle His Pickle. !)  So of course we wonder if he is wondering how we got "good" - and don't tell me he doesn't think about it.  And does he think poorly of us if we are good?  He shouldn't!  Damn it, asshole - it's your fault we are obsessing - shouldn't you just be happy we can suck a good cock and ride you well?  Just nod your head yes, thank you. Now get naked and lets get down! Thank you very much.

7. Your hair anywhere other than the top of your head.   He says that boys aren't exactly attracted to "legs that feel like brown sugar cactus's" (interesting descriptive - not sure I would have thought of that one!), they don't care about your eyebrows, eyelashes, armpits, and pubic area.  Again, I call bullshit on this one.  I will give him that men don't really care about the eyebrows (with the exception of a uni brow), and eyelashes.  But men don't like armpit hair (as a side note, getting mine lasered off - it's awesome!), and they are OBSESSED with public hair.  Some like it bald down there, some like it trimmed, some like it shaved into an arrow so they know the way to your pussy (ok, maybe that's extreme - but there are some freaking dumbasses that can't find their way, and they need to find their way AWAY from my pussy!!)  I wouldn't say that I obsess about my "other hair" but I definitely take care of it.  But it's all about taking care of yourself, and women should - but damn it - men should as well.  I don't want to go down on a man with a big ol' bush himself.  If I have to wade through a hair jungle to find his shaft, he's not going to get a blow job or he'll get a piss as poor one! 

8. What it smells like down there - He tells me that as long as I haven't been spraying “Sex Panther” by Odeon between your legs, you have nothing to be too self-conscious about. If someone can tell me what Sex Panther is I might understand what the hell he's talking about.  But I can tell you that without a shower and a 24 hour window girls can smell pretty fresh, and in fresh I don't mean "baby powder fresh."  I would say, sex is a go, but if you can smell me before you can see me then maybe we should do this in the shower.  And let me tell you - as a woman you have a 6th sense as to what other women smell like - and if you can "smell" another women in a public bathroom it's probably the grossest thing ever.  You just want to gag and tell the woman to take a shower.  Yeah, I'm feeling a bit queasy now.  But when that thought came into my head, I had to write it down so I wasn't the only one feeling queasy.  Love you, too ;) 

9. Whether we’ll be upset that your jeans are Target Brand instead of True Religion - Damon says, There’s actually a word for guys who really care about stuff like that, and it starts with ‘h” and rhymes with “logoplaxical”.  Maybe I'm a dumbass, but what's that word?  I still can't figure it out.  All I can tell you is that when I had an unlimited income I will tell you that I bought awesome clothes - while I wasn't a designer clothes "wearer" I basically wore nothing but Limited and Ann Taylor, etc.  Now I'm a TJ Maxx, Target girl.  And you know what - I will tell you guys (and girls for that matter!) cannot tell the difference, but my pocketbook (what an outdated term!) sure can.

10. Your age  He says that most guys are concerned in how old a woman acts than in how old she is.  Yes, fair.  Oh shit.  I'm 30, I act like I'm 40, and I look like I'm 16 - I'm fucked. 

So, damn it.  I do obsess.  But not about all 10 things.  Maybe I'm better than all girls!

I want a new drug...

I want a new drug... one that just won't quit... one that won't make me feel too bad ... One that won't make me sick. 

Yes, for those of you who aren't as cool as me (and I mean that very seriously - obviously) - that is a lyric to one of my favorite 80's band - Huey Lewis and the News.  If you haven't heard the song - or the band, please download it.  They are good, and fun.  And honestly, you can actually understand the words (god, I sound old - and don't get me wrong I love ALL kinds of music, hell I listen to anything from rap to jazz to even Marilyn Manson - so suck it bitches!).  Anyway.  Huey - he's good. 

But, back to the drugs.  Don't get me twisted (like I actually use those slang terms - I'm the whitest white girl you'll ever meet!)  I don't do drugs - never touched anything even the weed. 

What I'm saying is that I need a vice.  Maybe drugs would be the trick?  Yeah, probably not, I'm thinking a LEGAL vice.  You know - drinking, smoking, something like that.

I'd have to say my vice before must have been the sex, or the bjs.  You know - that's not really "good" for you, and I was doing that.  It was something to pass the time, something that took away stress.  Nothing like a good orgasm to take your cares away. (ohh, and cares go away fast with a nice big O - those boys who couldn't provide that weren't going to pass muster with me, and they weren't going to last - I was in this - or that shall we say for stress relief).  Fast forward to today, and the "new" thing as silly as it may be and looks like sex and the bj's aren't so regular anymore (reference the latest blog entry about Drying up).  So I'm thinking about taking on one of these new vices.  

Now, first... drinking...  I'm not a big drinker as I've "spoke" about before.  But there is a reason why...  When I drink I tend to get myself in trouble.  I have a very bad habit of drunk texting and drunk dialing.  Years and years ago (and that's why I can tell the story) I had a friend who I had met through an old job, and every time I would get drunk, without fail I would call him (this is before texting was popular - yes I know - STONE AGES!).  Yes, I would call him and usually tell him that "I needed him"  and I would tell him over and over again.  Often in multiple 2 am phone calls.  Oh wait, I must also tell you that he was engaged at the time.  The next day he'd always call me back and we'd laugh about it, because - well, I'm a dumbass.  And at the time I was 22 and he was 26 or something.  But, now I'm 30, and uhhh, I still drunk dial and drunk text (thank god I no longer have his phone number - ohh and by the way, he never got married to that girl, he married another woman and they got divorced years later. Ohh, and even more details, he was HUNDREDS of miles away so it was not a booty call by any stretch). 

I also have a nasty history of ending up dancing on the table, and when I say dancing - it's a bit of a convulsing in a very unflattering way.  And also, flashing people - but I have great, big (well huge) boobs - so people love that - I guess.  I have to often be told what people think, my vision gets a bit blurry, I'm already blind - drinking just makes it worse!  And lastly, I get REALLY clumsy, I will just fall into men's lips - oops did I make out with him too?  Oh shit?  Was he really ugly?  Damn it!  Oops.  Granted, I also just fall on my ass a lot - good thing I don't get embarrassed easily. 

How about another story (I'm feeling in a story telling mood!)  There once was a bar in DC called Polly Esters - some of you might remember it.  On Friday night it was all you can drink for $20.  yes, $20.  Umm.  yes.  $20, all you can drink, all night + 3 floors of dancing.  I was younger and dumber.  Good thing I can't remember a lot of what happened there.  But we shall say that Polly and I were not always good friends the next morning.  And thank god I don't know what the guys looked like that I "fell into" their lips.  And thank you to my friends, who although were trashed off their asses as well, were good enough to keep the "falling into" at lips only!  We might have been drunk, but we weren't stupid. 

OK, maybe drinking isn't such a great vice.  Then again, maybe it is.  I'll start tomorrow!