Now, guys... I don't suggest using any of these lines - unless you want to pick up some of these whores that these guys get. Now, then again - this might be your thing! And by all means, if you want a girl DTF (down to fuck, that's the type of venicular they LOVE to use), then knock yourself out. If nothing else, the shit they say and do is damn funny.
Yes, yes. If she turns you down the first, second, third, fourth time. Bug the shit out of her... she'll eventually give in. Bonus if she's really drunk the last time you ask! Oh, and wait.... and this doesn't just mean try the same girl multiple times, if you are looking for some ass, try girl #1, girl #2, girl #3... until you find a girl ready, willing and able! This is one of Mike "The Situation's" favorite techniques.
No.9 Dress the part
While, I agree with their idea here, I'm not sure our "dressing the part" is exactly the same. The boys of the Jersey Shore tend to rock the Ed Hardy T-shirts complete with studs, but I much prefer the cleaner crisper look. Granted, you do have to dress the part for the girls you are trying to attract, and that's not the same in every situation and every demographic. The boys on the Jersey Shore are looking for the guidette type and apparently those girls love their studded t-shirt look. Guys, just know the girls you are trying to attract.
I have a soft spot for Vinny on the show... Maybe it's because he seems the most "normal" and he's the bit of the underdog. I've always done that - my favorite one in NSync was not Justin Timberlake but Lance Bass, and in New Kids was Jonathan Knight (wait, now I've just told you that I'm a boy band girl, and apparently I had a thing for the future gay guys... oops!) Anyway, Vinny said, ""I don’t give a f*ck if you’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re 45 years old, I’ll dance with you. 'Cause it's hilarious.” Makes sense. You can't judge a book by it's cover. And it actually is true.
No.7 Just dance
Oh, the boys of the Jersey Shore loved to dance, and they loved the club. And if you judge their daily activities by the show and their twitter accounts (which sadly I do follow) these people (the girls included) do nothing but party - so of course they are going to suggest that you dance at the clubs - but that's not for everyone of course! But it's decent advice for all those guys who do go out clubbing -- don't just hold up the bar - you are missing a whole lot of women who are out on the dance floor!
Well, you definately cannot take this away from the men of the Shore. If nothing else, they are definately some of the most confident and bold men out there! And you gotta admit that confidence is damn sexy -- although I have to say that these guys are seriously straddling the line of OVER confidence! And overcofidence and too big of an ego is much worse than having no confidence at all (Mike, you hear that?!?)
No.5 Always stay fresh
Mike "The Situation" kindly explained the cardinal rules from The Guido Handbook: Wait until the last minute to shave before one goes out. Wait until the last minute to put the shirt on before one goes out. Get a haircut the day of going out. And if time permits, go to the gym and do some tanning the day of going out. Got that guys? Yeah, apparently it's not easy to be a guido. SO not easy that I wonder how these guys maintained a J-O-B before they got paid MASSIVE bucks to entertain us with their antics? Although, I must admit that it IS important that a guy maintains himself - although the "guido routine" may be a BIT excessive. No one wants a man who doesn't maintain his physical self.
The boys stress the importance of a wingman, according to Mike "The Situation": "When you go into battle, you need to have some friends with you, so that just in case a grenade gets thrown at you, one of your buddies takes it first." For those not up with the Shore venacular - a battle is going into the bar looking for woman, and grenade is a not so hot girl... (and you really should watch the show - it's hilarious in that it makes your life look pretty normal!). AND, check out this Jersey Shore dictionary I found online! I can't really comment on the whole wingman concept because the whole idea doesn't really exist in girl world. We travel in packs just because we do, but we don't really use wingmen per say. But the whole concept sounds good in theory -- maybe we should pick it up - I'll bring it up at our next girl meeting, you know the entire gender gets together periodically to plot against men of course.
No.3 Pickup lines are for amateurs
Ohh? Good boys. And let me tell you... I'm shocked that I agree with so many of these damn suggestions, and it really pains me to say that! These guys think that the old cheesy pickup lines (which I've referenced before on this blog) don't work and are really stupid. Granted, these guys have gotten so popular, I'm sure the pussy just flocks to them! Do they really need to pick up anything these days?
No.2 Just be yourself
Good point, because fake never sells. And these guys are NOTHING if not just themselves (and doesn't that make for GREAT television!!) Every guy just needs to be who is he, especially when he's out trying to pick up chicks, if he fakes who he is just for the sake of finding someone then they both are going to be sorely disappointed when the truth is revealed, and what kind of future will that lead to. Well, unless you are working for a one night stand, and if you can keep up the charade that long, then by all means - but even that long can be hard I hear.
Of course confidence works. How do you think Mike "The Situation" gets laid pretty consistently when time and time again he is proven to be such an asshole (abet a hot asshole with abs you could literally bounce a quarter off!) It's thanks to quotes like this: "Everybody loves me -- babies, dogs, ya know, hot girls, cougars. I just have unbelievable mass appeal." Although Mike may be a frightened little pip-squeak at heart, he certainly does play the part well, doesn't he?
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