Dating out of your league

Match.com (the offshoot of yahoo's former personals section...) had a new article up today - how to date out of your league.  And of course, who doesn't want to date out of their league?!?  We have all seen the those couples that just don't make sense - the supermodel and the nerd (and I'm not talking about ones that make lots of money - ones that actually just love each other.) 

So just how does the "5" get the "10"... there has to be a way.  And for all those "5's" (or lower than tens) out there, just how do we date out of our league? 

Tease your way to conversation

I'm a huge fan of teasing, and apparently it's actually a good technique for reeling in that big fish of a man.  April Masini, author of Think and Date Like a Man and Date Out of Your League, suggests sending a short note with an out-there, curiosity-provoking subject line, such as “Thanks for the message.” That way he/or she will open the email trying to figure out what you were talking about - he didn't think you sent him a message - I gotta say, that's an awesome technique.  Half the battle is for the person to actually open the email!  Neil Strauss, author of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, favors an irresistible challenge that shows your confidence, like: “Tell me about something funny that happened to you recently. If it makes me laugh, I’ll send you two photos. You won’t be disappointed.”   Also good, anything that invites a response is also a good technique.  Yahoo also suggests, sending them a link to a site that generates a silly name - such as your porn star name or something and sharing your own -- it just invites sharing.  Now, all this is great...  but I wondered how this is any different than just getting a response from a person in your league?  Thank you so much for providing this little bit of info yahoo... apparently this witty type of teasing emails provolk responses sometimes even before they go to your full profile - BONUS for you!  Especially because people tend to judge based on silly things on profiles.

Chat with panache
First off, I always use the articles titles ... and I have to admit, my vocabulary sucks.  So I had to google panache and it is, "Panache is a word of French origin that carries the connotation of a flamboyant manner and reckless courage"  And if I have to look it up there has to be at least 1 or 2 others that didn't know it too - so there you go - your word for the day. 

So chat with reckless abondan - and don't state the obvious - "I liked your profile.” “I think you’re cute.” “We both like pizza!”  Try to mention something obsecure that really interests you.  Case in point.  I saw an ad on one of the dating websites once and buried deep in his profile was a comment that he was a master at making animal sounds.  I grabbed onto that comment and wrote him back telling him how cool that was and bragged about my ability to oink like a pig and squeek like a guinea pig.  Guess what?  I got a response right away!  Not bad (and hey now, no sexual references here - this was completely innocent - believe it or not!)  And I'm not the only one - Alex Garth of New York City, a self-described “6” on the looks scale in the article gives a similar experience: “I knew the woman I wanted to meet was a model — she said as much in her profile.  She also mentioned that she’d traveled to China, which we had in common, so I sent her an email asking her what she thought of Shanghai. Within a couple of weeks, we were dating.”


Pave the way for a first date

Awesome, Congrats!  You've finally attracted that 9 or 10 via the online dating and it's time for a real face to face meeting.  Oh shit, now it's time for a date. You know, you've made all the "right steps"  (Which I think is debatable).  But some people agree that you do the online messages, IMs, then the phone call which can prove (or disprove) that you want to spend actual time together.  The biggest problem in online dating?  That's extremely easy (and at the same time, very hard)... the over anticipation.  On paper or online, a person can look so perfect (and perfect for you) that you put them up on a pedistal and basically idolize them.  But when you meet them in person expectations meet reality and it's not good.  I cannot count the number of times I've meet what I thought was the perfect guy online only to see/talk/meet him in person to freak out because he seemed like a totally different person.  Talk about a complete and total buzz kill - and you can't escape that easily after you've basically professed your undying love to him online - so be careful about sharing emotions before you met in person! 

Empower yourself in person
As the lower number in the equation, it's extremely important to always show confience - because as we know, confidence is extremely sexy.  And no matter where a person is - they should always show that confidence.  Masini recommends walking straight up to the man or woman you’re eyeing and introducing yourself. “Don’t be a shark and waste your night circling,” says Masini. “That invests your time in someone you don’t know,” which will only make you feel more self-conscious about not being “good enough” for the person. You have to tell yourself that you are the one worth knowing, not his/her sorry little ass.  Remember, outside looks fade - what matters is what's on the inside.

Look good, even if you’re not great-looking

My mom always had a saying for me, Always wear your sexiest lingerie under the most conservative business suit - it will make you feel sexy no matter what is going on.  And while being a DD there isn't much sexy going on under my business suits - they don't make a while lot of sexy for the big girls... What I do do is  look good all the time.  It's important to always look your best (and feel good about how you look).  Wear clothes flattering to your body type.  You know, don't wear the latest trend if it doesn't work on  your body - and trust me, a lot of them only work on certain body types.  Note, skinny jeans - look horrible on anyone that isn't stick sktinny.  Just leave them for the girls who are 100 lbs soaking wet.  There are styles that flatter a larger woman's shape - just find them!