Thursday, March 31, 2011

Oh NO he didn't!

I have to tell you, one thing in marriage is VERY important.  And that is the wedding ring - ESPECIALLY on a man.  Now, I've blogged before that a man wearing a wedding ring can actually be a turn on for a woman, but nothing tells you a man is married like the ring around his finger -- OR the indent left by where his ring has been!

So... imagine my surprise when today I read on People.com that Prince William has decided NOT to wear a wedding ring.  Lets NOT start a trend here!  I already have enough trouble figuring out who is married and who is not.  I don't need the married guys not wearing rings, I already check the ring finger first thing - if there is a ring it's a no-no! 

5 of your things that your man secretly wishes he could buy without looking like a sissy.

Most of the time men are bitching about all the crap that women have.  You know all the lotions, powders and gels it takes us to get ready in the morning.  (But hey, they don't complain when we look good - do they?!?!)  But there are some of the crap that women have close to our hearts that men secretly wish they could buy on their own, so instead they just steal us. 

You know guys, if we can buy condoms at the store for the non-existent penis we don't have, then you can buy some of this so called girly stuff that can go either way.  Man up dude!

1. Face Scrub

Face Scrub is a wonderful thing, and I'm talking about anything that's NOT soap.  Many guys I've known still think that the only thing that you can use - as a man - to wash your face is old fashioned soap.  And let me tell you, that crap leaves all kinds of residue.  Haven't your seen those commercials with the shower door that is all clouded over?  That crap is on your face!  Believe it or not, face scrub and face washes aren't just made for women anymore and guys you don't have to be afraid to buy something that smells "like a girl!"  All kinds of companies are making manly face scrubs from drug store brands to very high end brands.  And trust me, it's worth it!  Your face will thank me - as will your girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other/fuckbuddy/one night stand.  Nothing is better than a soft face. 

2. When Harry Met Sally

Ahh, those romantic movies.  Or any other movie that a guy is afraid to purchase.  Hey guys, it's ok to have emotions!  And guess what... most girls will drop their panties for guys who can push a little tear out at a movie.  But warning - watch yourself.  If you look like a blubbering idiot it can have the complete opposite effect! 


3. Lip Balm

Guys, we know you'll "invest" in the cheap Chapstick at the check out counter, but I hope you know that Chapstick lives up to it's price, and that's not great.  There is a reason there are hundreds of kinds of lip balm out there and they can get expensive.  And trust me, if you spend just a little bit more you will be a lot happier.  And smooth lips = lots more kisses.  Steal your woman's fancy lip balm or get some of your own.  Just remember to take it out of your pocket before you wash your jeans - it's not machine washable. 


4. Netflix Streaming Password And Username

Yes, all's fair in love and ... breakups.  If you have a netflix streaming account, he's probably going to want your password and username and going to use it for yourself (at least that's what the author of the article I found said)... Now I don't know about you, but I'm not so stupid that I'm going to give anyone my username and password to anything, and netflix isn't all that expensive these days - get your own damn account dude.  Until we are living together you aren't sharing my streaming! 


5. Moisturizer

Just like the face scrub, guys have an aversion to the moisturizer - but they really could benefit from it!  Listen guys, you ever feel itchy, dry?  There are aisles in the Supermarket, let alone fancy stores where you can pick up this stuff called MOISTURIZER that will help you!  You don't have to get the fun smelling stuff, just a neutral smell, but it will do wonders for your skin.  And soft skin is touchable skin, and touchable skin is sexy skin!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

On a kick here: BREAST Size Map!

So... apparently we are on a kick here.  And it's not just me!  Daniel Tosh, one of my new favorite comedians (check out his blog Tosh.0 - it's hilarious)  posted this new map just today.  And this one is for the boys....

So guys, do you have a preference for breast size?  Well, then... check out the map below and see what country (or ethnicity) you should move to to find the woman of your dreams.

Friday, March 25, 2011

World Penis Size, from a medical Professional

So, I've had quite a number on the penis size of the world map... but the mystery still remains what does the key really mean!  So I did a bit of research this morning and found the following website http://www.andromedical.com/.  Dr. Eduardo A. Gómez de Diego of Andromedical decided that it was a worthwhile study to look into the average penis size and found studies from around the world (note, he also sells penis enlargement products so take it all with a grain of salt)  But see his findings below - with source studies noted!  It's all legit. 

The ONLY dating rule you actually need to know.

Yes, it's true.. just one rule.  Just one to have successful dating.  Ready for it??  You sure?  Ok, ok.

Pay Attention To What's ACTUALLY Going On.

Yup, I hadn't thought of it before... but it's true!  Scott Alden of "How about we..." Which I think is an online dating website/blog (I have no idea - I just came across it while surfing ... a term I don't like - you aren't surfing you are just looking around!)... Anyway, he's got a point.  Probably 95% of dating problems could be solved with this one easy step.  Just pay attention people!

If she's acting bored, she probably is.  If he's not asking a lot of questions, he really doesn't care.  Do what you can to determine the vibe between you and your date and adjust how you act accordingly.  And dang it - pay attention to yourself too!  Remember, he/she is reading you too!  It sounds easy, but it's a skill most of us haven't mastered - why do you think we all have SO many bad date stories?!?  But maybe this will help prevent some in the future.

Picking up between stops.

First, I must admit that I'm not a metro/subway/etc frequent rider these days. I have been in the past and I don't have (much) against it - but from where I live to where I work it would take nearly triple the time (and money) to ride the metro to work than drive. OK, disclaimer done, I know they can be SO boring!


Now, we all know... bars aren't great for meeting people - men and women both go there for one purpose and that's to drink and drinking and emotions go together like cats and dogs (you thought I was going to say oil and water huh - got you there).  they snuggle sometimes but at the root of the matter they are just going to rip each others eyes out.  We all have to look for alternative ways to meet that special someone in our lives, so whenever I see a way to do so, I jump on it. 

So when I saw this article online about ways to pick up men/women on the metro/subway/etc (the author is from Brooklyn) I jumped on it.  Now, maybe the NYC subway is better than the DC metro system - but from what I remember and all I hear about are horror stories of people digging for gold (and eating it) or guys copping a feel when the train jerks... but hey, I'm always open to new ideas...  So lets see...


Avoid premature flirtation

The only thing that feels more awkward than shuffling off the train after silently staring down that cute guy without saying a word for 20 minutes? Besides writing the follow-up Missed Connection? Jumping the gun, getting shot down, and not being able to escape. (You won’t get shot down! But just in case!) You’re not paranoid: the entire train car is looking at you and judging. Some of them will probably blog about it later. So, take your time, and…
** OK, good call... lets wait a bit... It's not good to flirt a little and then be stuck... But if you do you can always jump off and get on the car diretly behind and avoid **


Establish eye contact first
Anyone who's ever been on the receiving end of a creepy, lustful gaze knows this: When someone is eyeing you, you know. So, no need to startle: give them a moment to acknowledge your eye sexing before you go in for the kill. If they put on their headphones and shove a book between the two of you when they catch you looking, they might not be into it. Their loss. But if they look like they might be interested?...
** Note to guys, make sure you LOOK like part before giving that "eye contact"  Seriouly, if you are dressed like an ax murder, or even a butcher after a hard days work, don't expect the eye contact to work.  Also note, wearing dark sunglasses and trying to establish eye contact doesn't work - just a hint **

Start off with a little white lie
"How are you liking that book? A friend just recommended it to me." If they are holding a book, whether or not you have ever heard of the title, this is the thing to say. Saying this does two things: it communicates that you are perhaps well read or least able to string together a sentence, and it gives you something to say other than "uhhhh let's have some sex?"

No book? Ask if that bag is vintage. Where that watch is from. Comment on literally anything besides how much you’d like to fondle their genitals and you're earning points. I once agreed to go on a date with someone who commented on my JANE magazine and said he loved it. He was lying and I knew it, but it was a friendly opener that got us talking. I met another man when he asked me for a cigarette as we were walking out of the subway. I didn't smoke. Neither did he.

** Don't try to talk about the PLOT of the book if you know nothing about it!  Or how the sky is blue if you are underground.  Try to keep it conversational.  And if she ignores you or leaves you for short answers - by God man, STOP! Nothing is worse than the guy who keeps talking to you when you have stopped the conversation. **

Ask where they're going
Proceed with caution with this one—inquiring about destination generally works in proportion to the commute. Cross-continental flight? Ask away and you may spark a conversation about travel. Crossing the street? She's reaching for her pepper spray before the question is even out of your mouth.
** Yes be VERY careful.  This question borders on STALKERISH and in this day the last thing a woman or hell a man wants is someone asking them where they are going.  BUT, it does work if they heading towards the airport with luggage!**


Wait until the last minute to seal the deal
Two subway stops before your destination. A handful of blocks, if you're on a bus. Five minutes until landing, if you're in flight. Don't ask them out until there is an exit in sight for both of you. You may think it's only awkward if they turn you down, but it can backfire even if they say yes early on, too. Ask too soon and suddenly you're experiencing first date jitters halfway into a 6 hour flight, deciding between pasta and chicken for your in-flight meal, willing yourself to stay awake so you don't drool on them, and making awkward mile high club jokes.
** But definately leave enough time for the exchange of email, phone, IM, etc - there are too many ways to communicate these days.  And don't leave it to chance - you'll never know if they'll see your Craig's List Missed Connections (and I've had hits and misses there - and even the hits have been serious misses!) **

Be direct—and daring
Repeat “I never have to see this person ever again” to yourself however many times you need in order to muster up the courage to ask them out. On a date. No mumbling about a phone number where you can text them, maybe, sometime, if that’s cool? No shrugging and flaccid offers to “Facebook each other”. Sorry, no—you’ve come this far, and whether you’re asking someone out online or on a bus, proposing an unambiguous date goes a long way. Happy travels!
** Good Luck!  Remember, how many times do you get to see the fat obnixious smelly guys (yes there are million) or the woman picking her nose or god knows all the tourists.  But how often do you actually meet someone that's worth meeting -- you better take down that number and actually call him/her - it's damn near a miracle!! **

Thursday, March 24, 2011

iphone umbilical cord... for real.

Most of us consider our phone our "life line"  Right?  Well, a Japanese Company has taken this to a WHOLE new level and designed a charger cord for the iphone to look like an umbilical cord, complete with pulsing action.  Don't believe me - watch the video.  It's a bit creepy.  Yes, this is a tad off topic, but I couldn't help but share.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Top Pickup Lines from . . . Jersey Shore?!?

We all know (and love?!?) the tv show Jersey Shore.  Askmen.com asked the guys on the cast, Mike "the Situation", Ronnie, Pauly D, and Vinnie what their best pickup lines are. 

Now, guys... I don't suggest using any of these lines - unless you want to pick up some of these whores that these guys get.  Now, then again - this might be your thing!  And by all means, if you want a girl DTF (down to fuck, that's the type of venicular they LOVE to use), then knock yourself out.  If nothing else, the shit they say and do is damn funny.

No.10 If at first you don't succeed, try again, and again, and again, and again


Yes, yes.  If she turns you down the first, second, third, fourth time.  Bug the shit out of her... she'll eventually give in.  Bonus if she's really drunk the last time you ask!  Oh, and wait.... and this doesn't just mean try the same girl multiple times, if you are looking for some ass, try girl #1, girl #2, girl #3... until you find a girl ready, willing and able!  This is one of Mike "The Situation's" favorite techniques. 


No.9 Dress the part

While, I agree with their idea here, I'm not sure our "dressing the part" is exactly the same.  The boys of the Jersey Shore tend to rock the Ed Hardy T-shirts complete with studs, but I much prefer the cleaner crisper look.  Granted, you do have to dress the part for the girls you are trying to attract, and that's not the same in every situation and every demographic.  The boys on the Jersey Shore are looking for the guidette type and apparently those girls love their studded t-shirt look.  Guys, just know the girls you are trying to attract. 




No.8 Don't discriminate


I have a soft spot for Vinny on the show... Maybe it's because he seems the most "normal" and he's the bit of the underdog.  I've always done that - my favorite one in NSync was not Justin Timberlake but Lance Bass, and in New Kids was Jonathan Knight (wait, now I've just told you that I'm a boy band girl, and apparently I had a thing for the future gay guys... oops!)  Anyway, Vinny said, ""I don’t give a f*ck if you’re fat, you’re ugly, you’re 45 years old, I’ll dance with you. 'Cause it's hilarious.”  Makes sense.  You can't judge a book by it's cover.  And it actually is true. 

No.7 Just dance


Oh, the boys of the Jersey Shore loved to dance, and they loved the club.  And if you judge their daily activities by the show and their twitter accounts (which sadly I do follow) these people (the girls included) do nothing but party - so of course they are going to suggest that you dance at the clubs - but that's not for everyone of course!  But it's decent advice for all those guys who do go out clubbing -- don't just hold up the bar - you are missing a whole lot of women who are out on the dance floor! 
 
No.6 Be bold


Well, you definately cannot take this away from the men of the Shore.  If nothing else, they are definately some of the most confident and bold men out there!  And you gotta admit that confidence is damn sexy -- although I have to say that these guys are seriously straddling the line of OVER confidence! And overcofidence and too big of an ego is much worse than having no confidence at all (Mike, you hear that?!?)


No.5 Always stay fresh


Mike "The Situation" kindly explained the cardinal rules from The Guido Handbook: Wait until the last minute to shave before one goes out. Wait until the last minute to put the shirt on before one goes out. Get a haircut the day of going out. And if time permits, go to the gym and do some tanning the day of going out. Got that guys?  Yeah, apparently it's not easy to be a guido.  SO not easy that I wonder how these guys maintained a J-O-B before they got paid MASSIVE bucks to entertain us with their antics?  Although, I must admit that it IS important that a guy maintains himself - although the "guido routine" may be a BIT excessive.  No one wants a man who doesn't maintain his physical self. 


No.4 Always have a wingman


The boys stress the importance of a wingman, according to Mike "The Situation": "When you go into battle, you need to have some friends with you, so that just in case a grenade gets thrown at you, one of your buddies takes it first." For those not up with the Shore venacular - a battle is going into the bar looking for woman, and grenade is a not so hot girl... (and you really should watch the show - it's hilarious in that it makes your life look pretty normal!). AND, check out this Jersey Shore dictionary I found online! I can't really comment on the whole wingman concept because the whole idea doesn't really exist in girl world.  We travel in packs just because we do, but we don't really use wingmen per say.  But the whole concept sounds good in theory -- maybe we should pick it up - I'll bring it up at our next girl meeting, you know the entire gender gets together periodically to plot against men of course.


No.3 Pickup lines are for amateurs


Ohh?  Good boys.  And let me tell you... I'm shocked that I agree with so many of these damn suggestions, and it really pains me to say that!  These guys think that the old cheesy pickup lines (which I've referenced before on this blog) don't work and are really stupid.  Granted, these guys have gotten so popular, I'm sure the pussy just flocks to them!  Do they really need to pick up anything these days?


No.2 Just be yourself


Good point, because fake never sells.  And these guys are NOTHING if not just themselves (and doesn't that make for GREAT television!!)  Every guy just needs to be who is he, especially when he's out trying to pick up chicks, if he fakes who he is just for the sake of finding someone then they both are going to be sorely disappointed when the truth is revealed, and what kind of future will that lead to.  Well, unless you are working for a one night stand, and if you can keep up the charade that long, then by all means - but even that long can be hard I hear. 


No.1 Be confident


Of course confidence works.  How do you think Mike "The Situation" gets laid pretty consistently when time and time again he is proven to be such an asshole (abet a hot asshole with abs you could literally bounce a quarter off!)  It's thanks to quotes like this: "Everybody loves me -- babies, dogs, ya know, hot girls, cougars. I just have unbelievable mass appeal." Although Mike may be a frightened little pip-squeak at heart, he certainly does play the part well, doesn't he?

.XXX is here... and no, not the Vin Diesel one

Good and bad news for all of you porn lovers out there.  A Internet domain dedicated to pornography has been created!  This way you can find your porn quickly and easily - but on the same side, someone can find that you've been looking at it just as quickly...

Apparently the domain name .xxx has been requested for 10 years, and finally the Internet Corporation for Asssigned Names and Numbers (Icann) which governs the website naming system (yes, such a group does exist) gave in and approved the .xxx extension for porn sites, giving it the same status as .com and .org. 

Now, this is not a mandatory move, and not all porn sites must take the .xxx extension - but it does open a whole lot more of the website names!  just think of the possibilities - anything goes because nothing exists right now.  there can be a whole new whitehouse.xxx or debbiedoesdallas.xxx (and no, those aren't real sites!)

BUt the porn industry isn't thrilled, they are afraid that  singling them out with their own domain could lead to more government interference.   Diane Duke, executive director of the adult entertainment industry's Free Speech Coalition, said in a statement that ICANN has 'disregarded overwhelming outpouring of opposition from the adult entertainment industry - the supposed sponsorship community' and dismissed the 'interests of free speech on the Internet'.


So coming real soon, an easy way to find your porn...  just look for the triple x's

Monday, March 21, 2011

Penis Sizes of the World Map

I must pass this little bit of information on... Someone out there (a genuis of course!) made a map of the average penis sizes of the world. 


I would like to point out a couple of things - 

1.  First, WTF, the United States is in the second to lowest category (11.67 - 13.48).  Now I also don't know what the unit of measurement is here - is it inches, it it flaccid or erect - I wish I could tell you, but I can't - and I also can't tell you where this came from - - remember, it's on the Internet so it must be true!
And for the United States to be on the low end might explain some things - - like why lately we have such a Napoleon complex and have a need to get involved in other countries affairs... (no judgement here, but we sure do seem to be putting out nose out there a great deal...)

2.  Looks like that whole Asian myth might just be true....

3.  As might be that black thing...

Friday, March 18, 2011

March Madness is the best time of the year for...

Vasectomies!

Yes, believe it or not.  During the start of start of March Madness, Dr. Stephen Jones of the Cleveland Clinic said there are 50% more vasectomies during the first week of March Madness than any other time of the year (no, I'm not making this shit up - this is real news from a real source - FoxNews.com)

Apparently, men like to get the ol' snip snip during a time when they can watch the NCAA basketball tournament while they are recovering.  For all the details... they have to keep keep ice on the "area" for at least a day keeping the area cold, but because it hurts but because there can be a lt of swelling.  

Some urologists even offer incentives during the March Madness time and offer things like coupons for free pizza delivery, sports magazines and "survival kits."

Dr. Richard Chopp (which of course shortens to the most awesome name for a urologists that performs vacestomies in the world - Dr. Dick Chopp!) at the Urology Team in Austin, TX gives his patients a t-shirt that says, "I Got Chopped at the Urology Team"  (I wonder how many actually wear that out of the house.)

 

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Mistakes women make trying to look attractive.

Hey girls... Not every "beauty trick" is attractive.  And when you read these one thing will ring out in your head... Or at least did in mine - I wonder if you will feel the same.  I will reveal my answer at the end of this post - I'm interested to see if you feel the same

1.  The Trout Pout
Or the "Fish Face"  Yes... you know it.  I'm not sure why girls do this but they suck in their cheese and purse their lips.  Or even just get their lips surgically puffed up.  Yes, I guess that bigger lips are sexier because men have some kind of oral fixation - but no one thinks that big puffy lips that look like you got attacked by bees is attractive.  Leave the collagen at the doctors office - if you want your lips to look bigger, put on some shiny gloss.  And lets be honest, the picture at the left looks like the girl had an implant of the other lips on her face.  And while a guy might think it's kind of cool to have a set of vag lips on your face, it's not all that attractive in the real world. 

2. Little Baby Voice
Baby Voices are good for one thing... Babies.  I think they only people it's really sexy for are those wierd ass people who have the fetish to dress up like adult babies - I think I saw a CSI on it once (and once it's on CSI you know it's not all that of a downlow fetish - and that shit is scary - do we really have a lot of grown women out there sexually arroused by acting like babies - ugh!).  So if you are one of those people, knock yourself out, but for the rest of us - leave your baby voice for when you are around babies (and even then they say the baby voice isn't good for kids - it teaches them improper English and voice annunciation).  Besides, you never want to talk to a guy in baby voice and insuate that he's your father - that's just giving him a little too much control. 

3.  Hair Extension
Call me crazy (yeah, go ahead, i know you want to!)... but most of the guys I know prefer their women natural... And that means all natural.  No extra hair pasted on to your head.  No guy wants to be running his fingers through your hair and get stuck on some kind of weave or pull out a big ol chunk of fake hair.  I can just see him pulling out a section of hair and panicing and trying to put it back on while you are completely unaware watching a movie.  Yeah, he's not going to like that.  And you don't want to give him any excuse to run - and men make up any excuse - the point is to not give him any.

4. Spray Tans
If you look like an orange and smell like a tropical fruit from all the products it's not a good thing.  And this one is not just for the girls out there - some men are addicted to the spray tan (and it's not just the spray tan, some go for the old school tanning bed which is even worse because some day they are going to have the skin cancer to remind them of their "glory days")  Excessive tanning is not good for anyone.  It's not attractive, not does it show anything but you have a little too much time on your hands.  If you really feel the need to have a little color in your skin - go for a little bronzer girls.  It's safer and can be washed off!  And FYI, the picture to the right is a POSITIVE before and after from a tanning website.  Personally I think she looks a lot better before - granted I'm a white girl that could probably double as a ghost - but I like my paleness. 

5.  Chronic Dieting
Staying healthy is good (I probably should think about it more often - I tend to take the idea that I will start excercising and watching my diet better always - next week... But next week never comes - interesting how it works like that...)  But those girls who are ALWAYS dieting, you know the type, they can ever cheat because it would do horrible things to their body are such buzz kills.  You jsut want to shove chocolate cake down their throat and then tie them to something so they can't go and obsessively work out afterwards.  Granted, maybe that's a little psychotic... but I don't like people like that - and neither do them.  men are carefree and even if they are extremely healthy cheat all the time!  And that's cheating ontheir diet, not one you!

6. Acting Dumb
If someone can tell me why smart girls act dumb just to get men's attention I probably would give you... well maybe a penny (I'm a little strapped for cash right now...)  But I just don't get it - Guys make like the dumb act for awhile - A dumb girl is fun to play with - she doesn't talk back nor does she have any opinion on what to do so you can really just boss her around.  But for the long term, a dumb girl is really just boring.  And how does a smart girl act that way for long?  Do you really just hide it? 

8. Chicken Cutlets
And not the kind you eat.... For those of you who don't know - Chicken Cutlets is the slang term for a bra insert that literally looks like a little chicken cutlet.  A woman puts it in her bra to increase her cup size - up to a full cup increase.  These are all about false advertising of course.  And what's even worse isthat when wearing these and hooking up you obviously have to be very proactive.  You can't just go to town and go hog wild (second animal refernce), instead the girl must take a break and remove said cutlets from her bra and hope in the throws of pasion the guy doesn't notice a whole cup size mssiing from each bra.  If not removed, you definately risk the danger of  your secret being discovered and that's just ugly. 

9. Sharpie Brows
Yup, over plucking.  I would say 9 in 10 guys don't even know that girls even pluck their eye brows and would only notice if a girl had a really nasty unibrow.  And while eyebrows are barely noticed, they are also highly noticed if they have gone bad.  You know - the unibrow (totally ok to pluck, wax, etc), or the very harsh drawn on brow which looks really stupid.  So again, like I've said before - go natural. 

10.  Press on Nails
For those of us who grew up in the 80's we lived in the era of Lee Press on Nails and those were awesome - when we were TEENAGERS.  But remember girls, we are all over 30 now and have to accept that we are grownups (I know - it sucks). And Press-on Nails aren't attractive.  Not only do they look so fake, but they also are very dangerous - they come unstuck in some of the strangest places (his back during sex, during cooking, etc).  Besides, these days, natural short nails are actually pretty darn attractive. 

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Dating based on color... skin color.


I was a little shocked today when I came across an article about a new book by J.C. Davies called,  I've Got the Fever: What's Race Gotta Do With It?  about how to date men of different races.  I gotta say, she's one ballsy woman.  And it might even be worth reading - just to see what she says!  Do the stereotypes run true?

Her book has five sections, each section dedicated to a different culture: latino, black, asian, indian and jewish.  And apparently she answers all the burning questions that no one wants to ask but everyone wants to know:

Do Asian men like their women submissive? The author of the article gives us some tidbits from the book, and says that Ms. Davies tells us that the book empowers women to chose a man (based on his ethnicity of course!) based on how he fits into our wants and needs.  She shares that "Latino men are macho and possessive, Asians are rubbish between the sheets (note to self!!!) and black men don't like talking about Al Sharpton) 

I gotta tell you this book is a little out there - but what book or philosophy isn't based on huge assumptions? 


Are Jewish men really cheap?

Are all Indian men well versed in the Kama Sutra?

Do Latin lovers live up to their reputation?

Do Black men actually have big, er, uh, equipment?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Looking for a nerd? Top 10 Cities to find one..

I'm always here to help everyone find love.  Everyone!  And everyone includes nerds...

So for all my nerds out there (and I classify as one myself!) here are the Top 10 Cities to find a nerd.

1. Sunnyvale, CA — In the hub of the intellectually stimulating Silicon Valley, Sunnyvale is home to some of the brainiest companies, including Yahoo!, Palm, Inc., and several aerospace/defense companies. Sunnyvale is one of the few U.S. cities to have a single unified Department of Public Safety (where all personnel are trained as firefighters, police officers and EMTs), so they can respond to any of these types of emergencies from a single department. Now that’s smart!


2. Cambridge, MA — Cambridge is home to two highly esteemed and prominent schools, Harvard University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (M.I.T.). The city is also noted in history as the birthplace of the U.S. Army by the scholarly George Washington.
3. Somerville, MA — Cambridge’s nerdy neighbor, Somerville, is home to the private research university, Tufts. As one of the most densely populated municipalities near Boston, there are many clever minds to be found within a compact area.



4. Berkeley, CA — This San Francisco treat is the site of the University of California at Berkeley, the oldest institute of higher learning within the revered University of California systems. The state-of-the-art Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory also calls this city home.



5. Santa Clara, CA — Resting in the center of Silicon Valley, Santa Clara hosts the headquarters for Intel, Sun Microsystems and many other high-tech companies. It’s also the home of Santa Clara University (the oldest institution of higher learning in the state of California) and Mission College.



6. Ann Arbor, MI — In Ann Arbor, the University of Michigan employs about 30,000 people — which equals roughly 26% of the city’s population. The city’s economy mostly depends on developments in high technology, as many companies are drawn to the area due to the educated alumnae that have matriculated there.



7. Boulder, CO — Not only serving as the home base for the University of Colorado, Boulder is also a burgeoning hub for high-technology, electronics and aerospace companies. Five of every six adults in the Boulder area (82.5%) have attended college.



8. Columbia, MD — The nearby National Security Agency and Fort Meade Army base account for more than 8,000 highly educated jobs that can be found in Columbia. On another nerdy note, the city takes its street names from famous works of art and literature. In 2010, Columbia was ranked #2 on Money Magazine’s list of the top 100 “Best Places to Live” in the United States.



9. Fairfax, VA — In May of 2008, Forbes commended Fairfax for its strong public school system, high median salary, and financially fit employers in the city, which include SunTrust and Federal Technology Services.



10. Rockville, MD — Situated at the core of the Interstate 270 Technology Corridor, Rockville is home to numerous software and biotechnology companies as well as several federal government institutions. Its per-capita venture capital investment is the highest of any town outside of California.

Things never to say to a girl with big Boobs

So.... we all know I have big boobs.  It's just a fact of life.  And while I'm not exactly a skinny girl these days, even when I was at my lightest in high school I was still blessed in the chest area.  Playing soccer in high school and college I had to often double up my sports bras - and that was even with the best most supportive sports bras around.

When I heard the words, "Miracle Bra" or "Wonder Bra" or "Water Bra" or even "Padded" I shudder.  I don't need a whole lot of push ups - adding extra padding is just bad.  Boys (and even girls) are constantly commenting on the "girls."  And I gotta tell you - it's not all good! 

So when I found this article on theasylum.com I had to share it for all my big boobed sisters out there! 

10 Things NEVER to say to a girl with big boobs! 

10. "I'm usually not that into giant boobs."
Personally I can't say that I've ever had a man say this to me.  When they see me they know what they are getting into.  But no man should ever say this to me - it's like saying they aren't attracted to girls like me, but they'll make an acception. 

9. "How big are they?"
If I had a nickel for every time a person (yes - men AND women) asked me this I'd probably be a millionaire.  I'd like to tell them an A cup and see if they believe me - it's OBVIOUS they aren't. 

8. "I'm sorry, I can't help staring at them."
How about you just don't?  My eyes are about a foot and a half north of them...
7. "I'm actually more of a leg man." Well, I have a set of them too - maybe you should stop staring at my boobs and look at them!
6. "Do you have back pain?" Why does everyone ask that?  Is it really any of their business?  And the answer - FYI, is yes.  If you had two large melons just hanging off the front of you basically being supported with two straps on your shoulders - it does hurt.
5. "I bet your mama gave those to you." Yes, my mom wrapped them up in a nice box and gave them to me when I was 13 years old.  I would have much rather had a phone in my room.  And for those of you interested... I'm a DD, and my mom is barely an A... so No, she definately did not "give" these suckers to me.

4. "Are they real?" If you can't tell the difference between fake and real tits -- then you have a real problem.  If they bounce and exactly round they are real - and real is better.
3. "Can I motorboat them?" No.  The answer is always no. 
2. "You should work at Hooters."  Orange looks particularily bad with my skin tone.  It just washes me out.  So I'll have to pass.
1. "Nice tits." Duh. I know.

Help? My puppy's surgery

Most of you know I have dogs, and I'm very involved in their lives. It's not very often I ask for help - but today I am. Sheba, my failed foster turned amazing puppy has been diagosed with a possible cancerous mammary tumor. She has surgery scheduled at the end of this month and it will cost an unexpected $1,000.

I have a large number of readers of this blog from all over the world - and I do this for fun and for free. But if you could just help (even a $1.00) it would be amazing. Both Sheba and I would apperciate it greatly.

-L


Monday, March 14, 2011

Dating out of your league

Match.com (the offshoot of yahoo's former personals section...) had a new article up today - how to date out of your league.  And of course, who doesn't want to date out of their league?!?  We have all seen the those couples that just don't make sense - the supermodel and the nerd (and I'm not talking about ones that make lots of money - ones that actually just love each other.) 

So just how does the "5" get the "10"... there has to be a way.  And for all those "5's" (or lower than tens) out there, just how do we date out of our league? 

Tease your way to conversation
I'm a huge fan of teasing, and apparently it's actually a good technique for reeling in that big fish of a man.  April Masini, author of Think and Date Like a Man and Date Out of Your League, suggests sending a short note with an out-there, curiosity-provoking subject line, such as “Thanks for the message.” That way he/or she will open the email trying to figure out what you were talking about - he didn't think you sent him a message - I gotta say, that's an awesome technique.  Half the battle is for the person to actually open the email!  Neil Strauss, author of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, favors an irresistible challenge that shows your confidence, like: “Tell me about something funny that happened to you recently. If it makes me laugh, I’ll send you two photos. You won’t be disappointed.”   Also good, anything that invites a response is also a good technique.  Yahoo also suggests, sending them a link to a site that generates a silly name - such as your porn star name or something and sharing your own -- it just invites sharing.  Now, all this is great...  but I wondered how this is any different than just getting a response from a person in your league?  Thank you so much for providing this little bit of info yahoo... apparently this witty type of teasing emails provolk responses sometimes even before they go to your full profile - BONUS for you!  Especially because people tend to judge based on silly things on profiles.


Chat with panache
First off, I always use the articles titles ... and I have to admit, my vocabulary sucks.  So I had to google panache and it is, "Panache is a word of French origin that carries the connotation of a flamboyant manner and reckless courage"  And if I have to look it up there has to be at least 1 or 2 others that didn't know it too - so there you go - your word for the day. 

So chat with reckless abondan - and don't state the obvious - "I liked your profile.” “I think you’re cute.” “We both like pizza!”  Try to mention something obsecure that really interests you.  Case in point.  I saw an ad on one of the dating websites once and buried deep in his profile was a comment that he was a master at making animal sounds.  I grabbed onto that comment and wrote him back telling him how cool that was and bragged about my ability to oink like a pig and squeek like a guinea pig.  Guess what?  I got a response right away!  Not bad (and hey now, no sexual references here - this was completely innocent - believe it or not!)  And I'm not the only one - Alex Garth of New York City, a self-described “6” on the looks scale in the article gives a similar experience: “I knew the woman I wanted to meet was a model — she said as much in her profile.  She also mentioned that she’d traveled to China, which we had in common, so I sent her an email asking her what she thought of Shanghai. Within a couple of weeks, we were dating.”


Pave the way for a first date

Awesome, Congrats!  You've finally attracted that 9 or 10 via the online dating and it's time for a real face to face meeting.  Oh shit, now it's time for a date. You know, you've made all the "right steps"  (Which I think is debatable).  But some people agree that you do the online messages, IMs, then the phone call which can prove (or disprove) that you want to spend actual time together.  The biggest problem in online dating?  That's extremely easy (and at the same time, very hard)... the over anticipation.  On paper or online, a person can look so perfect (and perfect for you) that you put them up on a pedistal and basically idolize them.  But when you meet them in person expectations meet reality and it's not good.  I cannot count the number of times I've meet what I thought was the perfect guy online only to see/talk/meet him in person to freak out because he seemed like a totally different person.  Talk about a complete and total buzz kill - and you can't escape that easily after you've basically professed your undying love to him online - so be careful about sharing emotions before you met in person! 


Empower yourself in person
As the lower number in the equation, it's extremely important to always show confience - because as we know, confidence is extremely sexy.  And no matter where a person is - they should always show that confidence.  Masini recommends walking straight up to the man or woman you’re eyeing and introducing yourself. “Don’t be a shark and waste your night circling,” says Masini. “That invests your time in someone you don’t know,” which will only make you feel more self-conscious about not being “good enough” for the person. You have to tell yourself that you are the one worth knowing, not his/her sorry little ass.  Remember, outside looks fade - what matters is what's on the inside.


Look good, even if you’re not great-looking

My mom always had a saying for me, Always wear your sexiest lingerie under the most conservative business suit - it will make you feel sexy no matter what is going on.  And while being a DD there isn't much sexy going on under my business suits - they don't make a while lot of sexy for the big girls... What I do do is  look good all the time.  It's important to always look your best (and feel good about how you look).  Wear clothes flattering to your body type.  You know, don't wear the latest trend if it doesn't work on  your body - and trust me, a lot of them only work on certain body types.  Note, skinny jeans - look horrible on anyone that isn't stick sktinny.  Just leave them for the girls who are 100 lbs soaking wet.  There are styles that flatter a larger woman's shape - just find them!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Four levels of slut

I came across an article the other day, that opened my eyes to the world of the slut.  Nathan DeGraaf on the Points In Case website (which doesn't mean anything to anyone - and really it's just someone else writing shit somewhere on the web...)  I just liked his ideas.  So... he came up with a categorization of the Four levels of slut.  And before you get all huffy - he's being good to us women!  Not all sluts are bad - Nathan is out to help us woman who get the "bad" slut label.  Read on, not all sluts are bad! 
Level 1: The Sexually Liberated Woman

The first level of "slut" is not really a slut - she's the woman who gets sterotyped as a slut because she likes to have sex (god forbid!). 

The Sexually Liberated Woman tends to not have a boyfriend - but rather tends to get laid.  And get laid a lot.  This woman doesn't care about settling down and having a family and all of that American dream BS, and she thinks it's highly unfair for other woman to judge her based on this choice.  And god knows that women are the biggest critics of each other!

Honestly men love this type of woman (Nathan - the author of this article included!) because she's the queen of NSA sex.  And what guy is going to turn down sex without committment.  It's the best of every world!  I've gone through this phase in my life, and had many a friend judge me for it.  And it's not fair to be judged for just following your bodies wants (and needs!).  And seriously, if you are safe about it, why the hell not!  Go for broke, you are only young once.  Go for the committment later (and I'm going through that phase now...) 

Level 2: The Garden Variety Slut

Like the Sexually Liberated Woman, the Garden Variety Slut doesn't have a boyfriend.  Unfotunately, unlike the Sexually Liberated Woman, the Garden Variety Slut leads men on.  She tends to sleep with multiple men at a time leading them all on to thinking they are entering into a relationship.  Basically, she's a game player...  Now these girls shouldn't be even allowed to roam the streets - they make the rest of us girls look horrible and make guys think twice about dating girls.  Bitches should be sent to an island to all fuck with each others heads. 

Level 3: The Cheating Slut

I've written about cheating before and how much I hate it!  Now the author of the original article, Nathan, says there are 3 different categories of cheating sluts: those who cheat on a boyfriend they've had a couple of months and then tell him (which he claims is no big deal); those who cheat on a guy they've dated for a few months, never tell him, and force him to find out from his friends (a slightly bigger deal because these sluts lack honesty); and then there are the worst kind—the sluts who fuck around on a man they’ve been with for years and never tell him about it. Nathan says that when men call a woman a "slut" or "whore" this is the kind of slut they are really referring to.  Personally, I think this kind of slut is just beyond horrible - any type of cheating is highly unacceptable (on the part of men or women)  If you don't want to be in the relatioship you are in and want to fuck around with someone else, end the relationship and knock yourself out.  Don't hurt someone else's feelings in the process.  And before you go accusing me of feeling this way because I've been cheated on - I actually haven't been cheated on!  I just have had way too many friends that have been negatively affected by cheating. 



Level 4: The Money Grubbing Slut

The Money Grubbing Slut actually loves her boyfriend, believe it or not. But she money as well.  She may not make the money he does and expect someone to support her habits - whatever they might be.  This type of slut will seek out the men who can take her to nice places and buy her the shiny objects she so desires.  Nathan thinks this is the worst kind of slut because she pisses on love all for material things.  DC is full of these kind of sluts.  You know the type.  The girls who are dating "daddy" and bringing all kinds of shiny objects home that she (or her man) can obviously not afford...  But no one dates to question because they don't want to know the truth.

Guys Never to Date, or... My dating History in a Nutshell.

There are millions of men out there... And while it would be great if we could just throw a rock and hit Mr. Perfect it's sure isn't that way.  (that's for damn sure - otherwise, no one would be single!).  So who should we avoid? You know, rock throwing isn't an exact science, but there are some men that we sure should avoid - and I obviously need to work on my aim - I obviously throw like a girl.

1. The loafer-dreamer.
You know the guy, he sits on the couch all day and does nothing.  He might play some video games and be very handy with the remote, but he sure isn't contibuting to the good of society.  And before you jump all over me - yes, I highly understand that we are in some economic woes right now, and that's understandable.  I know many people who are unemployed - and you can be unemployed and not be lazy!  You don't want to date a guy who is unemployed and isn't looking for a job or isn't contributing to society (and/or your relationship in some way!). 

2. The negative Ned.
You know the guys (hell, and women too!) that see the glass is half empty.  Who wants to be around a negative person - especially a guy that is trying to impress you?  Shouldn't he be trying to pull you up not bring you down!  If a guy finds fault in everything around, he's going to find fault in everything that you are.  RUN RUN RUN!

3. The egomaniac.
Ahh, I have a secret love affair with the egomaniac, and I'm not afraid to admit it.  I love a confident man who borders on asshole.  Is this good?  Hell no.  The egomanic controls his world and you just live in it. You know the guy - your feelings don't really matter and his attention will rarely be centered on you.   But you damn well better worship the ground he walks on.  But at the same time, in some strange magical way, you feel like you have been blessed that he has allowed you to enter his world.  I can't explain it, but the egomaniac pulls you in and makes you feel like crap and you love it. 

4. Dude with a ‘tude.
The bad boy.  In person they all look good.  You know the tattoos and all that.  It's hot, right?  His stance against authority sounds great, in theory.  Until you turn out to be the authority figure...  Remember, in "real life" authority is a fact of life.  And you don't want a guy who is constantly fighting "the man."

5. The chronic flirt.
Flirting is awesome, if you are the target of the flirting.  Now, if your boyfriend is flirting with everyone else, it's not so great.  You know the guys, the ones who are constantly flirting with anyone who has boobs - and likely is staring at those boobs at the same time.  Even the most confident and secure woman can only handle so much.  Ditch the constant flirt unless he's just flirting with you - because flirting is great but it often leads to more...

6. The mama’s boy.
MOMMY!  I love a man who is close to his family, but you know the type, he's gotta guy approval for every action from his mom.  She still buys his socks and underware and if she's close enough she does his laundry.  If his mom has his key to his apartment (or house) it's not a good thing.  There needs to be some major seperation!  You should be the #1 woman in his life, and mom can bump down to #2.

7. The addictive personality.
Ahh, so many addictions - so little time!  Drugs, gambling, alcohol, excercise, shopping...   If the guy has an addictive personality you might want to pass him by.  Because he can easily get addicted (say obbsessed)  with you... All that addicting is draining. 

Monday, March 7, 2011

good news for the guys - Staring at boobs is good for you!

This is awesome news for the guys in the audience.  A German study has shown that staring at a woman's breasts is actually GOOD for your health!

500 men in the study, half were asked to not look at boobs for five years (yeah, that must have been a struggle and wonder how many actually followed that protocol!) and the other 250 men were told to stare freely (and I guess given free reign to go to all the strip clubs they wanted - I wonder if German strip clubs have a lot of leiderhosen?).

The study found that the men who were told to stare at the women's breasts more often showed lower rates of heart issues - including a lower resting heart rate and lower blood pressure - sounds worth it to me - especially in a time when heart disease is a VERY common killer.  The scientists suggest staring at breasts for 10 minutes daily.  So guys, if you get caught - you have an excuse! 

Watch the video - it was an actual news story on Fox in Boston!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Congrats to me! 10K Views and Stats to Date

Today a momentous occasion happened here on this blog!  I have officially have had 10,000 blog hits!  Yes, it is true, and nothing short of amazing. 

And for anyone as interested in the statistics as me...

Top Posts
(with links if you want to see them for the first time or again!)
1. Boxers or Briefs - 195 Views
2. Sexting Acronyms - 141 Views
3. Craig's List Ad of the Day - 65 Views
4. How to get a girl drunk... easily and quickly - advice for men. - 62 Views
5. Snuggie Sutra - Sex with your Snuggie On - 61 Views
6. Worst Cities for Dating - 61 Views
7. Obsessive Women Worries, you know men don't care - 59 Views
8. The Boob Shelf - 57 Views

9 Movies that make boys cry - 55 Views
10. Threesome Rules - 52 Views

Top Audience
1. United States 8,671 Views
2. Canada 426 Views
3. United Kingdom 188 Views
4. Russia 65 Views
5. Germany 58 Views
6. Japan 47 Views
7.Slovenia 42 Views
8. Netherlands 29 Views
9. France 25 Views
10. Latvia 25 Views

and finally...

Post Views
Pageviews today -39
Pageviews yesterday -41
Pageviews last month -1,096
Pageviews all time history - 10,097