Is bigger better?

OK, mind out of the gutters, please!  I'm talking about HEIGHT here. 


As you might (or might not be aware), I'm single again through no fault of my own (thankyouverymuch!) To that end, I reactivated my Tinder Account.  Now for those who aren't aware, Tinder's primary purpose was to connect to men or woman (or hell - both) who are near your GPS coordinates.... (yes, I know, I know... privacy violations and all that - but I don't care!).  Tinder has a very basic premise.  A handful of pictures (I think no more than 6 or so) are uploaded to the app from your facebook profile pictures (which ... as a note, PLEASE double check which pictures are loading - do you really want to have a picture of you and an ex all snuggled up, or a goofy picture of yourself laying on the mall and pretending the Washington monument is your dick...(*that's a whole other topic!). 

So to continue on a long story that should be really short, the idea behind Tinder is very basic and honestly superficial as hell.  After looking at a persons picture - and a VERY short message (if you even get to that point), you swipe left for not interested or right saying you are interested.  If both you and the other person swipe yes, then you are matched and can use the Tinder messaging app. 

Now that I have that huge background gotten out of the way, I want to comment on ONE thing on Tinder that seems to come up over and over again in the short profiles provided (and it's NOT asked - the "profile" portion is a free form text field where you can put anything.)  So, that one thing... it's a guy's height.  From what I gather, a man's height is the #1 thing that is of concern to most women.  I personally think that's crazy.  Then again at 5 foot tall, I don't often encounter men who are smaller than me.  Well... I did go on two different dates who two different guys who were shorter than me (again... another story - guess, I need to start blogging again!

So, I decided to do a little bit of research... Does height really make that much of a difference.  According to eharmony (which I'm skeptical about eharmony due to my rejections - but I will say some of their advice columns actually make sense).  So apparently women prefer taller men nearly exclusively.  In a study of 720 couples, in only ONE case was the man taller than the woman.  Apparently, height is considered a masculine characteristic and taller men seem more dominant and assertive (according to some study by some guy somewhere).  In evoluntary terms... a larger man was better able to provide more protection for their woman and kids and gave the taller man a better social status. 

While that was evolutionary type research, in today's day and age, women still value taller men because they are often seen as more powerful and attractive - and being with them ups their social status.  It's likely that women who are paired with taller men feel smaller, more protected and perhaps even more "feminine."   Now there isn't a tried and true height cut off, most women just prefer their man be taller than them (for me... I want to be able to wear my 4" heels). 

So back to the Tinder thing.  I would say nearly 75% of the small profile section has the man's height pointed out.  Are women that superficial that physical looks and tall height is the only thing we are looking for.  Of course, Tinder is an inherently superficial way to meet people.  Hell, following my breakup a couple of months ago I got on Tinder just for an ego boost.  All I wanted was for men to say I was hot - and that they did!  It was great for the self esteem. 

Creativity Lost...

So... back on the online dating trip.  And a trip it is.  Not a good one that's for damn sure.

The stories I have -- mostly bad -- are numerous!

But, my biggest complaint to date is the complete lack of creativity in some messages.  When I'm talking about lack of creativity.... I'm talking about absolutely zero. 

Twice in the past week I've gotten messages that are nearly identical from the same guy twice.  One... months afterwards was nearly the exact same.  And the other, also nearly the exact same was not even 20 days apart.

Now, don't get be wrong.  I think that first message and first contact is difficult.  You want to be witty and cute and not look like you are trying too hard.  You don't want to spend a long time on a message that could basically be ignored (been there, done that) - but please don't overuse the copy and paste.

Feel free to judge away. 

Mid 30's and still single, what's wrong with you?

So... I've always had a thought in my head, when you are mid 30's or god forbid 40s and still single what does that mean?  My gut reaction is that unless you have a very good reason (divorce serving in the peace corps, a super heavy concentration on a very demanding career, a series of long relationships that just didn't work out, etc) there is something inherently wrong with you...

Then I realize, shit... I'm turning 34 at the end of this month and I'm still single.  I am not divorced, didn't spend any time in the peace corps (or military) serving overseas, don't have that spectular of a career, and haven't had many long term relationships.  Does that make me one of the problems?  I hope to think not, but ...

If I meet someone like me, who is still single at my age (or older), I will still judge them.  Good or bad.  I think it's just part of the judging process, much like anything else is.  I just can't help myself.  Can you?

The dangers of online dating

So, after a short but very intense relationship that sadly ended (boo hoo!), I'm back in the dating game.  Good or bad, I'm not a big fan of the beginning stages of dating.  It's absolutely exhausting trying to see if you and the potential guy have enough in common to actually go out, and after that if you have enough in common to actually continue dating.  All of the pictures here are actual emails I've gotten in the past couple of days. 






I find online dating the easiest for me.  It's all about volume, you can browse a huge number of guys in a short amount of time.  Hell, you can take a 5 (or 30) min break at work and find a couple potential suitors.  I prefer to like/wink/star and play the passive aggressive route.  But if I see a good ad I might take the couple of minutes to come up with a decent response.  But it's such a drag if you spend a good amount of time coming up with a cute, attractive and witty message and you don't get any response. 

But, saying all of that.... I want to pass along a couple of my pet peeves. 


1. If I say "x" is a deal breaker, don't email me and ask if it's OK.  I have only a small handful of deal breakers.

2. Please write in coherent thoughts and sentences. And DO not use texting short hand - most of us have smart phones so even if you are on your phone you have a full QWERTY keyboard.  I'm not asking for complete and 100% correct grammar - but if I need to ask a teenager to translate your message, you might want to rethink your apprach
 
3. Your online pictures should not include the following: a wedding ring, a significant other, only "parts" of your body, or your head cut off.  And seriously... don't send a "message" with a dick pic, and ONLY a dick pic.  I'm not sure that's ever worked and yet many guys continue to do it. 
 
4. Please be age (+/- 10 years is almost acceptable) and geographically appropriate (>an hours drive, and that's PUSHING it).  Telling me you "travel" to the area often or are willing to relocate is kind of creepy.
 

5. Do not be offended if someone doesn't respond right away. Desperation is not sexy.   Believe it or not, I might be online dating, but that doesn't mean I'm on my computer all the time. 

6. If you aren't interested in the person, or feel the need to make fun of them, just don't send the email, ok?

Anyone have any others?