The dangers of online dating

So, after a short but very intense relationship that sadly ended (boo hoo!), I'm back in the dating game.  Good or bad, I'm not a big fan of the beginning stages of dating.  It's absolutely exhausting trying to see if you and the potential guy have enough in common to actually go out, and after that if you have enough in common to actually continue dating.  All of the pictures here are actual emails I've gotten in the past couple of days. 






I find online dating the easiest for me.  It's all about volume, you can browse a huge number of guys in a short amount of time.  Hell, you can take a 5 (or 30) min break at work and find a couple potential suitors.  I prefer to like/wink/star and play the passive aggressive route.  But if I see a good ad I might take the couple of minutes to come up with a decent response.  But it's such a drag if you spend a good amount of time coming up with a cute, attractive and witty message and you don't get any response. 

But, saying all of that.... I want to pass along a couple of my pet peeves. 


1. If I say "x" is a deal breaker, don't email me and ask if it's OK.  I have only a small handful of deal breakers.

2. Please write in coherent thoughts and sentences. And DO not use texting short hand - most of us have smart phones so even if you are on your phone you have a full QWERTY keyboard.  I'm not asking for complete and 100% correct grammar - but if I need to ask a teenager to translate your message, you might want to rethink your apprach
 
3. Your online pictures should not include the following: a wedding ring, a significant other, only "parts" of your body, or your head cut off.  And seriously... don't send a "message" with a dick pic, and ONLY a dick pic.  I'm not sure that's ever worked and yet many guys continue to do it. 
 
4. Please be age (+/- 10 years is almost acceptable) and geographically appropriate (>an hours drive, and that's PUSHING it).  Telling me you "travel" to the area often or are willing to relocate is kind of creepy.
 

5. Do not be offended if someone doesn't respond right away. Desperation is not sexy.   Believe it or not, I might be online dating, but that doesn't mean I'm on my computer all the time. 

6. If you aren't interested in the person, or feel the need to make fun of them, just don't send the email, ok?

Anyone have any others?