Last week the Super Bowl game entertained millions (but not me... I'm completely unimpressed by football). Little did I know, you can completely judge your man by his team of choice. While these might not hold up, it's fun anyway.
So read away, figure out what your man's (or your own!) team choice says about you. Hell, after you read the description you might want to change teams... Maybe.
Atlanta Falcons
You have absolutely no shot at being a part of the best relationship
he’s ever had. He’s moved on from the girl he was in love with, for
sure, especially since she ultimately broke his heart, but she was
everything. You’ll have to live with the fact that in the all-time
rankings of girlfriends, you’ll be second best.
Arizona Cardinals
He’s underrated. As a total package, some people might think he’s not
that great, but that’s only because certain circumstances in his life
have conspired against him. All he needs is a couple things to go his
way and you’ll soon realize that you have someone great on your hands.
Baltimore Ravens
He’s probably great at defending himself, so don’t plan on winning
any arguments. And, if he’s taken a page out of his favorite players’
book down the years, he’ll know how to bust a few moves when it’s time
to celebrate. So go ahead, take him to the dance floor.
Buffalo Bills
You can almost forget he exists sometimes, but once you give him the
time of day, you realize that he’s actually a cool guy. If you’re with
him, he’ll cherish you, no matter what others think, which is saying a
lot these days.
Carolina Panthers
You’ll question some of the things he likes and react with a “What!?
Really? Okay.” when he tells you some of his interests. But he likes
what he likes, and you’ll have to accept that.
Chicago Bears
This guy is belligerent and bullish. Your relationship with him just
can’t be good, it has to have an edge to it. Subtlety is not his strong
suit.
Cincinnati Bengals
This guy is loyal. Despite having his heart broken when things looked
to be headed his way for sure, he has not bowed to cynicism. He will
meet your companionship with enthusiasm and new hope for the future.
Cleveland Browns
This guy’s been with more people than he can count and none of them
have worked out, not a single one. In fact, you’d be pulling off a
miracle if you two find happiness together.
Dallas Cowboys
If you look at his résumé from top to bottom, you’ll probably think
you’ve landed yourself a pretty great catch, which is fair enough. But
don’t be surprised if he keeps up bringing what he’s done in the past to
defend his present disappointments.
Denver Broncos
This guy is cool, and not just because of the weather. He’s laid
back, doesn’t take anything too seriously and enjoys life. None of the
preceding facts, though, have stopped him from enjoying success. He’s in
a good place in life right now and, if you come along, you’ll be in for
a great ride.
Detroit Lions
The one time he had someone great, she left prematurely and left his
life in shambles. Since then he hasn’t really had great expectations.
Even if he should expect more from you, he probably won’t.
Green Bay Packers
He’s the simple, low-key, small-town guy, which adds to his charm. He
might not be down for going to a club on Friday night, but he’ll watch
the sunrise with you.
Houston Texans
He’s a young guy. He’s made plenty of mistakes, and once he finally
got himself together, things in his life fell apart quickly. He’s
dusting himself off and going for bigger things now. You might be the
one to grow with him.
Indianapolis Colts
He’s mature, in that he knows what it’s like to end a long, fruitful
relationship maturely and on amicable terms. He’ll adore you like a
queen, but don’t be shocked if years down the line, he leaves for
someone newer and younger.
Jacksonville Jaguars
This guy has little to no idea what it’s like to have someone who is
actually great for him. In fact, success in your relationship with this
guy would be a shocker.
Kansas City Chiefs
This guy is loud, supportive and enthusiastic about everything he
does. He will welcome you into his family if you treat him right and you
won’t have to worry about bringing your friends around him, they’re
welcome too. In fact, the only person he might not get along with is
someone from Oakland.
Miami Dolphins
He cares about you, but isn’t obsessed. He’ll have no problem
spending his time elsewhere for the night if, God forbid, you don’t want
to hang out with him one weekend. He’ll be there for you, but won’t
necessarily see your relationship as a matter of life and death.
Minnesota Vikings
He knows his best relationship, a wildly entertaining affair, is long
gone. Having someone to just settle down with for now is the main
priority.
New England Patriots
He’s used to success. And while he may not always have had the
best-looking or best-dressed girls to deal with, he’s made sure of two
things: that they always suited him and his agenda and that they always
gave the relationship their all. Compromise any of those two principles
and he’ll cut you off with no remorse.
New Orleans Saints
He might not be your cup of tea, but he’s impossible not to like. If
anything, the fact that he’s overcome a lot in his life and has found a
way to experience consistent success in recent years should attract you
to him even more.
New York Giants
Never short of confidence and with good reasons, he’s defied the odds
enough times in his life. Because of that, he’ll always expect the
best, but is willing to accept the worst if it comes.
New York Jets
In a constant attempt to get the attention he feels he deserves, this
guy can make rash decisions and has gone out of his way to hook up with
(the bombshell who doesn’t know how to read, the good girl who looked
awkward trying to engage in the most basic elements of a relationship,
etc.). Deep down though, he always knows things will go wrong, and is
desperately waiting for someone to come along and change that.
Philadelphia Eagles
What you’ve done for him in the past seldom matters. He’ll come down on you hard in an instant if you rub him the wrong way.
Pittsburgh Steelers
This guy will brag a lot about his accolades, and has a lot of
friends who will join in with him. It can get annoying, especially when
you realize he actually has a point. In life, when things are going
“bad,” they’re actually going pretty good by other people’s standards.
Oakland Raiders
He is not too far removed from a ridiculously long relationship that
featured lots of promises, but a whole bunch of letdowns and is still
scared from that experience. You’ll have some work to do in reversing
the lingering effects of that relationship.
San Diego Chargers
This guy has been wondering how he hasn’t found true love for a while
now. He believes he’s nice, entertaining and good-looking, but has
ultimately failed to experience a successful relationship. He’s just now
starting to wonder, “maybe it’s me.”
San Francisco 49ers
This guy was once the big man on campus, and while he lost his charm
for a bit while going through a slump for a couple years, he’s got his
life together now. His groove is back and he’s ready to have the
greatest time of his life to add to those past memories.
Seattle Seahawks
He’s incredibly supportive and always behind you 100 percent. He’ll stick with you through the good times and bad.
St. Louis Rams
This guy just can’t win. Despite not being too bad of a pick himself,
he’s surrounded by better looking individuals who just have more than
him, almost to the point that it’s unfair. To make up for this fact, he
bought a new shiny car, but it keeps breaking down. He’s basically Bad
Luck Brian at this point.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
This guy is fresh off a debacle of a relationship, but he wasted no
time in cutting her off. He’s expecting a lot more from his next
relationship, so you best be ready to step up.
Tennessee Titans
He’s a rare breed; definitely a novelty. You’ll be shocked guys like
him still exist in the world. For you, he’ll likely be one of a kind.
Washington Redskins
No matter what, he’s proud of who he is. You might dislike certain
aspects of his character, but he will be totally unapologetic about it.
If you want to “change” a man, this is not the one.
