For my small booby friends!

You've heard me in the past talk in earnest about my big boobs - and often about others big boobs as well.  But hey, I'm an equal opportunity type girl and I had to give a shout out to my small boob sisters (and this is way overdue) 

Again, from the Frisky, here is a list of 10 reasons to LOVE small boobs.  My comments (and jealousies in italic)

1. They are cute. They just are. They look friendly and happy and sweet.
Heck yeah, those little round perky boobs are great!


2. You can wear something really low-cut. I don’t dare, because I am scared of things no one should be scared of and also freakishly modest. But in theory, you can. And you probably should, if you have small boobs. Just to do it.
Us big boob girls can barely wear a simple tank top or v-neck shirt without being indecent.  I would love to wear a cute very low cut shirt/dress/anything without feeling like I'm putting myself on display!

3. You don’t look “slutty,” necessarily. Sluttiness is a dumb concept. No one should be thought slutty at all, because it’s just dumb. And certainly no one should be thought slutty based on the basic shape of her body. But it happens. When my large-breasted friends walk down the street in a parka and plaid overalls and clumpy work boots, they get uninvited attention of a sexual nature, because of their breasts. I know, because all of my large-breasted friends wear that outfit, all the time. But to my point: I wear that same thing, and I get no attention at all. Which is nice. And then I wear a scandalously sexy, skin-tight outfit, and I also get no attention! I’m kidding. What I mean to say is, people say, “Oh, that looks nice! You’re so elegant.”
Yup, big boobs have a negative connotation - especially because of all those stripper types going crazy with the implants.  Big boobs often make you look like you are asking for it, and you are just trying to carry these huge ass bags without harming someone.

4. You can look elegant pretty easily. See above.
Fine line between elegant and sleezy.  Lots of cleavage = sleezy.

5. The nipples are showcased. And nipples are interesting. I don’t want to say much more about nipples, because it makes me feel awkward and inappropriate. But I think they’re pretty. OK, that’s it.
I knew someone else felt that way.  There are some serious wrong proportions going on when you have huge ass boobs and teeny nipples.  It just looks weird, so for those girls with small boobs they can pull off the nipples, and they actually look like they belong


6. You can sometimes go braless. I went through a phase, last summer, where I did this, and it was incredibly fun and exhilarating. I felt free. I felt daring. I felt like yelling, “Hello, New York City! I’m not wearing a bra!!” But I didn’t, and then I felt like it was this sexy secret that everyone was probably whispering about. They definitely weren’t, but I talked about how empowered I was with my friends, a lot, and that was nice. After wearing a bra for approximately half my life, it was shocking to realize that actually, it was sort of optional. And then I got stuck in this freezing cold restaurant at a party for like four hours, and carried on a lot of charming little conversations with my arms crossed over my chest. So I’m not ready to give up on bras completely. But I still stand by my right to occasionally go boldly without.
Ahh, braless!  That would be so nice.  But not gonna happen for us big boobs... You know that pencil test?  Yeah - I FAIL that sucker - probably I could keep a dozen of so up there. 

7. You can wear a strapless dress without it being a big deal. I will do this, after I stop being really scared of what will happen if I lift my arms up. Which I need to do all the time– as we all do. My wedding gown was strapless. But that was more because all wedding gowns are strapless, and I had no choice. Still, it was empowering. I know I can do it again, some day, if I keep my arms down.
I can't say I'm a huge fan of the strapless -- mostly because usually they really "show off" the boobs - again, you look like you have a big shelf.

8. You can do yoga without even noticing them. I like not having to think about my breasts when they’re not playing an important role in whatever’s going on. Like if I’m jogging (which I almost never am, but it’s happened once or twice). Or if I’m playing a sport (ping pong), or if I need to be upside down at any point.
Like any stretching or moving - these things get in the way! 

9. They don’t sag. I kinda don’t want to brag about the whole “they don’t sag!” thing, because it sounds more like an insult to big breasts and older women than a compliment to smaller ones and younger women. I’m also not sure I want to unquestioningly support firm perkiness. Last time I checked, breasts were made out of fat, and fat is squishy. And while I do have one friend with mysteriously perky natural boobs, and they are indeed spectacular, they are also the exception. And softness is really nice. Sagginess probably just means you’re older than 35, and some day I too hope to be older than 35. So instead of all that– how about #9 is “They feel good.” People don’t spend enough time talking about how nice small breasts feel. Sometimes I catch myself just feelin’ mine up. It’s sort of comforting. That is maybe the weirdest thing I’ve admitted to on the internet. They fit nicely in the hands. They are like little pillows of happiness.
Sagging.  You can be a young woman (under 30) and these big fun bags still sag.  It doesn't seem to matter how well you take care of them - good bras and sports bras working out - they still end up sagging.  God knows what mine are going to look like in another 30 years.

10. Not to be sappy, but they do the really important stuff. They feel good when they’re played with. They have the ability to provide milk for a baby, which is badass. They’re womanly and pretty. They’re often charming in profile. And even though all of those things are true for big boobs, too, small boobs do it with their own special style. They do it while being awesome for all of the other nine reasons. They might be in a strapless dress while doing it. You never know. Small boobs are full of surprises.
All boobs do great things! 

Busty Girl Problems

So, this afternoon I clicked on a link that a friend put on her facebook page - 10 Pugs that look like other things...  basically, it's Friday afternoon and I needed a pick me up.  But low and behold, at the bottom of the page was another link to a page called, "12 Problems That Only Busty Girls Have"  You know I had to click. 

Imagine my surprise, and delight when I not only found a list, but awesome illustrations from a woman named Paige Hasley Warren that keeps a website called "Busty Girl Comics."  I just had to copy and paste these comics here because I seriously got a kick out of them, and they are SO damn true!.

1.  The Surprise Stain

So damn true, I lovingly refer to this as my "shelf."  I can't get through a single meal, snack or anything without ending up with food falling on my shelf, or god forbid, down the cleavage.  In the evening, when I take my bra and shirt off there is no saying what I might find - crumbs, leaves, a small child....

2. The Counter Dilemma

Yup, there you are, sitting at a counter or a bar and it cuts  you off RIGHT in the middle of your boobs.  If you sit there your boobs flush with the counter you feel like you are too far away, but rest them on the counter and you look like a hoe (granted, it does lighten the load - these things are HEAVY)

3. Airplane Turbulence

Turbulence of any kind sends these fun bags a rocking.  Basically, you feel like you have two rattles on your chest that have a mind of their own.

4. Motorboarding Proposition

I've covered this one before.  You have boobs that hang out there and people (men and women alike) can't help but ask you about motorboating...

5.  The Built in Bra Issue

Now guys might not understand this, but many women's tank tops have this * great * invention called a built in bra.  Basically for smaller chested women they can forgo the actual bra and just go with what is built into the garment.  If you are top heavy, these built in bras are a serious joke.  Not only will they only provide you such little support that it's practically indecent, even when wearing a regular bra underneath the built in bra can't hold you in.  You end up with so much cleavage you should practically be on the pole.  And my big chested sisters out there understand how difficult it is to find a camisole or tank top without a built in bra so you can wear it like a regular women - you see how this shit bugs me?

6. The Shoulder Strap Attack

Shoulder straps - both purse and seat belts - are basically the enemy of those big chested girls.  The strap won't just set on top of your boobs, instead it has to sit RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE, making it not only uncomfortable but giving major attention to your boobs

7.  The Dish washing Dilemma

Just like on the counter, these big boobs get in the way of things in front of you.  While washing dishes, bending over the sink your boobies stick out and sticking out means they are going to get dishwater wet. 

8. Ye Old "boob Spillage"

Again, these boobs stick out a long ways.  And it doesn't seem like many of us have a total awareness of where they are at all times.  Mostly because we are probably trying to forget about them.  But these boobs can knock all kinds of things over - most dangerous is at the dinner table when glasses of liquids stand in easy reach. 

9.  Simply Folding Your Arms

Just try folding your arms in front of you - where do your arms lay?  Right in the MIDDLE of your chest, right.  If you are boobalicious, it's awkward to rest your arms in the middle of your chest.  So above them looks silly - like you are using them to hold up your arms, crossing underneath shows them off so you are left with not crossing them at all - probably your best bet.

10.  Ruffles!

Ruffles are Retarded.  At least for us full boob babes.  Want more attention drawn to your big chest - wear these ever popular ruffles, want to hide them, avoid ruffles at all costs.  Most men question why the hell we would want to hide big boobs - hey guys, not all of us want to be seen for our boobs first - everything else second.

11. Stairs

Bounce, Bounce, Bounce.  We talked about turbulence.  Imagine if you are making your own turbulence.  As you walk down the stairs your boobs bounce in unison and if they are that big they just keep bouncing after the initial jolt (think a rock thrown in the water with decreasing concentric circles).  So what do you do?  You walk down making your own bra support with your hands - that just looks as silly