Sexual Phobias

Sex is scary.  Yes, I know it's pleasurable and all that, but seriously there are some scary things about sex.  So, when I came across this list of sexual phobias, I was interested....

At least now I know there is a name for sexual crap people are scared of.  Now you don't have to just be scared, you can have a label for it!  And as we all know, a label makes it all better.

Parthenophobia — Fear of virgins or young girls
--> Hey, it makes sense!  Not every guy wants to peg a virgin!  There are all kinds of issues with virgins.  Those bitches get emotionally attached as soon as their is penetration.  There is all that pesky issues with possible pain when you get in.  And of course, she's got no idea what she's doing - so can it be that good?

Medorthophobia — Fear of erect penises
--> Yes, Yes, Yes!  I totally get this one.  While an erect penis can do great things, honestly it's a little scary!  That thing all engorged, red and pointing right at you?  And god forbid it happens at a time when you aren't looking for sex or even worse from someone you DON'T want sex with! 

Medomalacuphobia: Fear of erectile dysfunction
--> For both girls and guys, erectile dysfunction is a real bummer.  Of course, it's obvious for guys, no one wants their equipment to not work.  But boys, girls feel responsible too... if you are having trouble getting it up or getting it hard, we feel like it's our fault.  If we can't turn you on enough to make you work it can really make you feel inadequate.

Gymnophobia: Fear of being nude
--> Did anyone else notice that the prefix (which is probably the wrong word - but you get what I'm talking about...) to this phobia name is GYM?  Of course, all those people walking around nude in the gym locker room can really give a person a complex.  No one wants to compare themselves to others in the nude, talk about the ultimate full disclosure, you can't hide anything when you are nude. 

Eurotophobia: Fear of genitals, especially female ones
--> I get it, genitals are not exactly pretty.  Those male or female genitals are kind of weird shapes and do weird things.  Weird things that are actually magical.  I guess you have to just get over their ugliness to appreciate their beauty.

Malaxophobia: Fear of the intimacy in foreplay
Seriously?  People don't like foreplay.  People are weird.

Philemaphobia: Fear Of Kissing
Yup, I've been with guys who don't like kissing... not sure if it's a fear or if it's just issues.  Although, I think the ones I've encountered have more a fear of germs and the spread of germs through saliva than a fear of actual kissing.  Kissing is a lost art and should be fully explored.  I'm actually pretty sad that I grew up and kissing became a bit blase.  I miss making out like a teenager.  Seems too many guys just use casual kissing to get to the big show.

Sexual Claustrophobia — Fear of sex indoors
I would appreciate if someone could explain this one to me.  How could someone be scared of having sex outdoors??? I can surely see and appreciate liking sex outdoors, but that's not even the same as actually FEARING sex indoors.

Naked Royals

The British Royalty has had a nakedness problem lately.  Not only did Harry bare it all in Vegas, Kate went topless (and possibly bottomless) and got caught.

Now, I'm not one to be critical and serious (at least in this blog), but I can't ignore this one.

First off, damn the media (and us who consume the media) on being so focused on the royals and what they do and do not do.  Really, can't they live their lives without being under a microscope?  I feel sorry for them -

BUT....

Here is my issue.... it's no surprise that the royals have someone following them at all times - that someone is going to have a camera. 

As far as Harry.... He was in Vegas and we all know that things can get a bit crazy in Vegas.  It happens, for everyone...  So he wanted to have a party in his suite and get naked.  Good for him - but if he was going to go this route he needs to ensure his privacy and safety.  I read somewhere that he should have followed the golden rule, if you are going to do something stupid that you wouldn't want to get caught on camera - confiscate the cell phones/cameras at the door.  If some dude or chick doesn't want to give up their phone - then they can't get in. 

As far as Kate... yeah, it sucks that someone had a long lens and was able to capture her on camera while she was in a private villa on her private vacation.  But bitch, please... you married into the royal family - you should know better.  There is no privacy.  It shouldn't come as a surprise that someone is out there with a monster telephoto lens.  Be smart, don't get naked out doors where you could have a picture taken of you.  You know it's possible - so don't be stupid.

OK, off my soapbox.  But I'm a firm believer in planning ahead or thinking ahead.  Just remember what happens in the moment can be captured forever.

Sex Life and Choice of Cereal?

So Glamour is another one of those magazines that you wonder where they get these things... but apparently what you eat in the morning says a great deal about your sex life... Review and comment.

Lets see... Usually I eat Oatmeal (the health and all), so that craziest thing since college I've done was a one night stand?  Umm, no... I never had sex while I was in college and I've done some crazy things since then. 

Cheerios: Nice, normal, safe. OK, maybe a little boring?
Honey Nut Cheerios: Nice, normal, safe. But maybe a little bit less boring, you hope?
Fruit Loops: Not the brightest crayon in the box, but you’re pretty!
Rice Krispies: You’re loud and energetic and kind of a handful.
Cinnamon Toast Crunch: A little sweet, a little spicy.
Corn Flakes: You never take chances, hate surprises, and are in no way spontaneous.
Frosted Flakes: You can always be counted on for a grrrrreat time.
Special K: Stay away from her stomach, hips, and thighs.
Kashi Go Lean: Your ideal date: A 4-hour power hike, followed by mountain biking, rocking climbing, and dinner at a local vegan café.
Total: Type-A personality.
Raisin Bran: You’re an old soul. Or maybe just old?
All-Bran: You have stomach problems.
Cap’n Crunch: You like to be in charge.
Cookie Crisp: You have little to no will-power.
Grape-Nuts: Well that explains last night’s vanilla, missionary-style sex.
Cocoa Puffs: You’re a little crazy (but know how to keep it in check until at least date four or five).
Life: You’re looking for more than just a one night stand.
Trix: Makes sense - last night’s tricks weren’t for kids, either.
Alpha-Bits: If you’re a girl, you’ve got babies on the brain. Or maybe you just like baby talk in bed?
Oatmeal: That one night stand was the craziest thing you’ve done since college.
Lucky Charms: You’re the kind of person who picks up pennies, refuses to walk under ladders, and absolutely will not kill a ladybug.
Fruity/Cocoa Pebbles: The Saturday morning cartoons are getting turned on as soon as you leave.
Generic Brand: You’re cheap. Or frugal. However you want to spin it.

Sit on my face?

I'm sure you have heard of Spy Sunglasses.  I'm a fan - in fact one of my favorite pairs right now is a pair of Spy.

In an advertising stroke of genius, Spy Sunglasses posted a billboard reading "Happy to sit on your face" above Highway 101 in California. The billboard advertised Spy's new line of "Happy" lenses which are advertised to lift one's spirits (seems a bit too California-y to me - but whatever) .  The new lens design blocks UV rays and 99% of glare and only lets the blue light in.  Apparently fancy studies show that blue light - ** warning science content ** specifically color wavelengths between 450 and 500 nanometers increase serotonin making the person wearing the sunglasses happier. 

Apparently, a bunch of totally not fun and prudish people protested and Clear Channel Outdoors (the billboard company) removed the sign.  I must note that the phrase, while it can be dirty - is only dirty if you know what it's referring to... so prudes, you really are freaks inside!

More than 25 fun loving people with a sense of humor protested the removal of the sign in the first day it was done.  They demanded the billboard be put back up or be left blank in protest!

Men and Accessories

So... I must say that I must be a fan of accessories on men (to a point!).  You know, like hats and sunglasses.  I can definitely say that many - if not all men, look better in a hat and/or sunglasses. 

I'm serious, look around.  How many men look hot as hell when they are wearing nice sunglasses or a good baseball cap - but then they take it off and you wonder what the hell you were thinking!

Happens to me ALL the damn time.  Especially looking at personals ads, I see a profile picture with a guy in a hat or sunglasses and then look at his other pictures and wonder how such a small thing can make a guy look so much better.

So ugly guys, utilize hats and sunglasses very well.  And girls, make sure to make your judgements AFTER he removes his hat and sunglasses!

Liar, Liar, pants on fire!

I'm not super keen on stuff I see in Cosmo, I'm not sure who writes or comes up with that shit.  What kind of girls sit in cubicles and come up with this (I can only assume they are women because they are wacko!)  Do they sit around in a conference room every monday morning and brainstorm ideas?  Bizarre.

But...  I thought this was actually good information. 

So, we all think that our relationships are perfect.  And our significant other NEVER lies to us.  He/She would never have a reason, right?  Bullshit, people lie, either little white lies or big doosies.  So what should you look or listen for to see if your significant other is lying.  And believe it or not, the Cosmo girls didn't just come up with this during one of those random board meetings, this actually came from a real expert.  Janine Driver - who is a lie detection expert - wrote the book, You Can't Lie to Me.

These are the words you should watch out for!

Left: Sure, sometimes 'left' is the only word you can use in a situation, but there's some kind of drama involved when he uses it in place of another word that will do (think: "I left the bar at six" vs. "I went home at six"). It could be due to his desire to "leave" the lie behind.
Really? the word "left" is a deception indicator?  I guess it makes sense.  But does that mean the opposite is true, that if you use the word "right" you are definitely NOT lying?

"Never"
The big thing to look out for is when he says "never" when "no" will do. It's a sign he's overcompensating. For example, if you ask, "Did you just look at that girl's butt?" and he says, "Never!"
Heck yeah, words like "never" that dont' give you any leeway are definitely indicators of lying.  Come on dude, we know you look at girls' asses.  Unless you bitch is one seriously jealous bitch, own up.  She's probably going to comment on some girls great or horrid ass too.  It's one of those look but don't touch!

"That"
Like never, it depends on how he uses it. If he puts "that" in front of a noun, like "that woman" or "that money," it's a subconscious attempt for him to distance himself from the word. This is a common trick of manipulators.
I can see that distancing.  It's almost a sarcastic tone, ugh, "that"

"Would"
If he skips "no" and goes straight to "I would never do something like that!" when talking about a past event, be wary. For example, "Are you still talking to your ex?" "I would never do that to you!" "Would never" suggests that he plans to do it in the future.
Humm, "would"  really?  I would never ever write about sex on here.  Nope, never

"Yes, ma'am"
If your guy is a Southern gentleman, then this doesn't apply. But if he suddenly says "ma'am" to you out of nowhere, be cautious. It's a sign that he feels like he's feeling stressed and knows he's in trouble.
Guess she's not part of the military culture.  Ma'am is appropriate!  Then again, I do live south of the mason-dixon line!

"By the way…"
Liars use phrases like this to try to minimize what they say next-but usually it's what's most important to the story. Pay extra attention to what he says afterward.
Hell yeah, if he or she puts an aside in a a conversation.... starting with a "by the way..." you know it's something they want to hide in the conversation and not really talk about it. 

"But"
Liars usually try to downplay what they say with this word, so pay attention when he says something like, "I know this is going to sound strange, but…" or "I know you think I'm lying, but…"
But's are never good.

"Why would I do that?"
It's a favorite stalling line of liars, so they can buy a little time to work out what to say next. These phrases also fit the bill: "What kind of person do you think I am?", "Are you calling me a liar?", and "I knew this was going to happen to me!"
Why would you lie?  Because you are an asshole or a bitch.  We all know!