I know you've seen those TUMS commercials on television - you know where the food fights you back... and the guy is trying to eat his food, but it's beating him in the face. Yeah, well this one takes the cake. Watch.
Yes, that looks like a dildo beating that man in the face. Maybe if they hadn't used the mustard... maybe they should have gone with mayo for the real effect. I'm no prude, but damn, that plays on television? That looks like something that should be on Cimemax after dark...
Monday, June 27, 2011
Towels that remind you to . . . shave??
In a genius show of marketing, Gillette Incorporated in Germany produced "thousands" of the towels below to remind German's to shave. Yes, I love it.
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Saturday, June 25, 2011
What's in a name, part 2
Imagine my surprise when today I came across another little ditty about what a man's name can convey. This time in my Women's Health magazine there is a little blip about which men's names "signify" that he's had the most sex partners. Now, I'm not sure about you, but this could go one of two ways. First, you may not want to date a guy whose name follows in the many sex partners category - mostly because he could be dirty. You know, that whole baker's dozen of STD's thing. But then again, who wants an inexperienced man in bed? You know the type... the guy who has had very few lovers and thinks that sex and intimacy should play out the way it does in porn - because that's all they've experienced. And let me tell you guys - porn is great to watch, but it's not reality.
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So on to the subject matter. Smartdate.com, a French dating website conducted a survey of their 19,300 male members asking them how many sex partners they have had. Turns out that men with the name CHRIS, CHARLES, DENNIS and JAMES had overwhelmingly more sex partners than the guys named DAVID, BRIAN, JASON or BRUCE.
The guys with the most partners... strangely enough most of their names end in the letter "S" averaged 11.3 lovers (not sure where the .3 works - that's not even a midgit - yeah, I went there.)
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And those guys that didn't have very many lovers - the Edwards, Franks and Davids averaged less than 2 lovers - UGH, that doesn't spell good odds for you boys with those names.
The guys with the most partners... strangely enough most of their names end in the letter "S" averaged 11.3 lovers (not sure where the .3 works - that's not even a midgit - yeah, I went there.)
And those guys that didn't have very many lovers - the Edwards, Franks and Davids averaged less than 2 lovers - UGH, that doesn't spell good odds for you boys with those names. Now for fairness, in a previous study by the same site, for female names - Smartdate.com found that 8 of the 10 names with the most active sex life ended with the letter "A" Venessa and Angelina topped that list.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
How to tell is a guy is well endowed.
According to Star Magazine (and take that for what it's worth!), the easiest way you can tell if a man is well endowed (you know has a big ol' cock) is by his name.
Yes, it's true, or at least according to John Sewell, boss of onepoll.com. He asked 1,000 British women to list which names sounded most (and least likely) to be carrying an extra appendage in their pants (my words...).
What did they find?
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The BIG Boys.
1. Dave
2 .Paul
3. Steve
4. James
5. Mark
6. Robert
7. Chris
8. Andy
9. Richard
10. Dan.
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And the not so big boys.
1. Ray
2. Brian
3. Nigel
4. Frank
5. Keith
6. Jeremy
7. Josh
8. Barry
9. Dennis
10. Nick.
Now Ladies, as scientific as this study obviously is... I'm not sure that I would judge a man's junk based on his name... But hey, if it's a good indication maybe I should start dating based on name....
Yes, it's true, or at least according to John Sewell, boss of onepoll.com. He asked 1,000 British women to list which names sounded most (and least likely) to be carrying an extra appendage in their pants (my words...).
What did they find?
1. Dave
2 .Paul
3. Steve
4. James
5. Mark
6. Robert
7. Chris
8. Andy
9. Richard
10. Dan.
1. Ray
2. Brian
3. Nigel
4. Frank
5. Keith
6. Jeremy
7. Josh
8. Barry
9. Dennis
10. Nick.
Now Ladies, as scientific as this study obviously is... I'm not sure that I would judge a man's junk based on his name... But hey, if it's a good indication maybe I should start dating based on name....
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
what you should NEVER call your significant other.
Another website, another interesting list. This time a list of bad pet names that you should avoid calling your lover. Now I will not take credit for this list (as there are some majorly f'ed up names on it.)
We all use them, they are usually signs of affection, but this of 25 names are ones you really should avoid....
We all use them, they are usually signs of affection, but this of 25 names are ones you really should avoid....
Shmoop or Shmoopie
Poopsie
Cutie Patootie
Most anything food-related, not limited to: Pudding, Baby Cakes, Honey Pot, Muffin
Baby Girl or Baby Boy
Snuggluffagus (I don't know, I kind of secretly like this one...)
JuJuBee
Cowpie
Muammar Gaddafi (if you are calling your significant other Muammar Gaddafi, I think the least of your problems is a pet name...)
Booger
Lovey Yummers
Slutty Buddy
Thunder Chunk
Tubba Wubba
Hitler (umm, really????)
Fart Bomber
Paycheck
Princess
Hey, You
Mein Führer
Representative Weiner (D-N.Y.) (and why would you use this??)
Bed Bug
Pennis the Menance (this admittidly is kind of funny...)
Mama or Daddy (oh yeah, I really don't get those who use this, my grandparents did. It's creepy.)
Vagitarian
Sunday, June 19, 2011
A father's Day post. . . . Yeah, on this blog - believe it or not...
So, it's Father's Day, (Happy Father's Day dad, I really hope you never read this blog). I figured I would take a bit of a turn, but of course with MY spin.
Match.com and the Yahoo personals joint venture published an article about signs that he will be a good father, baby daddy. You know, the kind of guy you might want to skip pills for, or poke holes in the condom to rope him into daddy duty - SERIOUSLY, just kidding! I can't believe women do that, but there are some bitches out there.
But for us that actually would like kids someday (yeah, believe it or not). You gotta watch for those guys who would make a decent dad, and that you won't be out all those pesky attorney fees trying to seek child support from a dead beat dad.
Read on...
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1. He treats his mother well. What kind of family man will he be? First look at his relationship with his mom. Does he respect her? Laugh with her easily? Enjoy visiting her? Help out with chores or errands? “If the answer is yes, all of this means she did a good job raising him, he naturally likes women, and will like the mom you will become,” says Wendy Allen, Ph.D., a psychotherapist specializing in couples and marriage therapy in Santa Barbara, CA. In fact, respect in general — to other family members, to kids, and to you — should be at the top of the “what to look for” list.
Yes, it's true. A man that treats his mother well then it all looks good for you. But personally, you gotta watch out for those mama boys. And guys, seriously, learn from my advice, love your mom, but don't LOVE your mom. You know, pick your own underwear and all.
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2. He’s selfless. What’s the number one thing you learn when you become a parent? You never come first anymore! So if you’re with a guy who thinks he’s the center of the universe, beware. For Jackie Baker, a Valdosta, GA, mother of one, it was easy to see she wasn’t dating an egomaniac when she found out that he’d spent much of his time caring for his 17-years-younger sister. “One of his major responsibilities was to take care of her in the afternoon when he came home from school,” she says. “He didn’t really go on dates or get to hang out with his friends. I thought, any teenage boy who is willing to give up his time for his sister is a great man. Even to this day he helps out with his sister’s homework whenever he can. I knew when I saw him taking such an interest in his family that he was going to be a wonderful father.” Browse Local Singles at Match.com on Yahoo!
I'm from DC, there isn't any selfless men (or women here). OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. But seriously, selfless? People in DC are SELFISH. But if you are going to have kids you have to give up a whole lot, or at least put your kids first. Sorry girls and guys, no more hustling on the street, you have to be home changing diapers.
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3. He’s not easily grossed out. Surprise! Kids are messy. There are dirty diapers, vomit — and dirty diapers and vomit happening at the same time. Being a parent means getting comfortable with the eewwww factor. Good fathers are the ones “who jump in to clean up a gross mess and help out when someone else isn’t feeling well,” says Dianne Couris, an author and parenting coach in Oldsmar, FL, and president of Family Choices & Solutions, Inc. Christine Louise Hohlbaum, a mother of two, found this out years ago while on a tumultuous, three-hour ferry boat ride around the Greek Islands. Hohlbaum got seasick five times. “Each time, my then-boyfriend would take my barf bag to the front of the boat to retrieve another one,” she says. “As we pulled into the dock, I knew this man would make a great father. Childbirth and parenting would be a snap for a guy who can carry puke across the Mediterranean without blinking an eye.”
If a guy isn't comfortable with gross - then he needs to man up. Grow some balls dude. Granted, poo and puke isn't great. But lets be serious - he's done both before (if he hasn't, someone has some OTHER problems.)
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4. He’s a great uncle. “Nephews and nieces are the stepping stones to your own kids,” says Allen. “Does he call them on their birthdays? Does he make dates where he actually has to show up and take them to the movies or an amusement park?” Varina Caton, a Wilmington, DE, mother of two, witnessed such dedicated affection with her future husband and his nieces and nephews. “He would have his nieces and nephews fly out to stay with us,” she says. “He has always made a point of staying in contact with them. He sent some of them to summer camp because their Mom was unable to come up with the money. He has mentored them as they have matured, introducing money management (for obvious reasons!), job skills, people skills and most importantly setting goals. Because of his involvement with his sibling’s offspring I knew he would make a great dad, and he has!”
If he likes kids around, humm.. Ding, Ding he might be good with his own. Really? Duh.
5. He doesn’t mind taking direction from his partner. “If a man resents being told what to do, then working with him on his children’s schedule and responsibilities could get tense,” Couris says. “Running a family schedule is usually [the mother’s role] and the father typically needs direction.” How can you tell if he’ll respond well to family life? Notice how he takes to your suggestions (“I think you should pack more than one pair of underwear for our week at the beach”) and how he reacts to your plans (“Don’t forget: Thursday is my uncle’s 73rd birthday and we’re all going to dinner”). If you get a positive reaction, you’re onto something!
Sounds like we have some dominant and submission talk going on here. But hey, if guys can't take a little direction (even in "baby" making practice, if you get my drift) he's just not worth keeping anyway.
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6. He likes ketchup. And he understands the importance of blowing the paper cover off of a straw and seeing if it can reach across the table. In other words, he has a playful sense of fun, and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Those could be the most telling sign of all. You’ve got to have a sense of humor to get through life with kids.
No one wants a stick in the mud, for being around adults either.
Match.com and the Yahoo personals joint venture published an article about signs that he will be a good father, baby daddy. You know, the kind of guy you might want to skip pills for, or poke holes in the condom to rope him into daddy duty - SERIOUSLY, just kidding! I can't believe women do that, but there are some bitches out there.
But for us that actually would like kids someday (yeah, believe it or not). You gotta watch for those guys who would make a decent dad, and that you won't be out all those pesky attorney fees trying to seek child support from a dead beat dad.
Read on...
Yes, it's true. A man that treats his mother well then it all looks good for you. But personally, you gotta watch out for those mama boys. And guys, seriously, learn from my advice, love your mom, but don't LOVE your mom. You know, pick your own underwear and all.
I'm from DC, there isn't any selfless men (or women here). OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. But seriously, selfless? People in DC are SELFISH. But if you are going to have kids you have to give up a whole lot, or at least put your kids first. Sorry girls and guys, no more hustling on the street, you have to be home changing diapers.
If a guy isn't comfortable with gross - then he needs to man up. Grow some balls dude. Granted, poo and puke isn't great. But lets be serious - he's done both before (if he hasn't, someone has some OTHER problems.)
If he likes kids around, humm.. Ding, Ding he might be good with his own. Really? Duh.
5. He doesn’t mind taking direction from his partner. “If a man resents being told what to do, then working with him on his children’s schedule and responsibilities could get tense,” Couris says. “Running a family schedule is usually [the mother’s role] and the father typically needs direction.” How can you tell if he’ll respond well to family life? Notice how he takes to your suggestions (“I think you should pack more than one pair of underwear for our week at the beach”) and how he reacts to your plans (“Don’t forget: Thursday is my uncle’s 73rd birthday and we’re all going to dinner”). If you get a positive reaction, you’re onto something!
Sounds like we have some dominant and submission talk going on here. But hey, if guys can't take a little direction (even in "baby" making practice, if you get my drift) he's just not worth keeping anyway.
No one wants a stick in the mud, for being around adults either.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Strange Sex Facts Day #4
So shoot me, I forgot a day! This one is from the Seduction Labs... Umm, yeah.
Running a sex and seduction related website, one often comes across various titbits of information that are interesting, but not immediately useful, or applicable to anything specific.
So, using a combination of information from the American Urology Association, The Kinsey Report and Wikipedia, here are ten unusual facts about sex that you might not have known before.
On any given day 400,000,000 people around the world (1 in 17 of us) will have sexual intercourse. Broken down further, about 4,000 people are having sex right now.
Sex cures headaches: Endorphins released into our bloodstream when we have sex not only give us pleasure, but also act as painkillers. That’s useful information to whip out the next time your partner uses a headache as a reason for refusing.
The average lovemaking session lasts around 15 minutes: Consisting of roughly 10 to 12 minutes of foreplay and around 3 to 5 minutes of intercourse.
Forget global warming and turn up your thermostat… Orgasms can be more intense in warmer conditions. The degree of vasocongestion – reddening or darkening of the skin known as the “sex flush” – is both more common in warmer temperatures and an indication of how intense an orgasm was.
Humans aren’t the only members of the animal kingdom that have sex just for fun. Dolphins and Bonobo chimps have also been observed engaging in sexual activity, when they are not in their natural reproductive cycles.
Homosexuality is not unique to humans: Many species have been observed engaging in homosexual activity; and male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality in all mammals.
If a woman experiences an orgasm during sex, she’s more likely to become pregnant, since orgasmic spasms in pelvic muscles can help move sperm up the vaginal canal to the uterus.
Many elderly people can and do have frequent sex: At age 70 — 73% of males are still potent; and 30% of women aged 80 or older still have sex.
Viagra has made erectile dysfunction (affecting 10–12% of men) a household phrase, but the opposite problem, premature ejaculation (affecting 24–27% of men), is actually more common. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is currently reviewing a drug called Dapoxetine as a cure for this problem.
70% of women would rather eat chocolate than have sex.
Running a sex and seduction related website, one often comes across various titbits of information that are interesting, but not immediately useful, or applicable to anything specific.
So, using a combination of information from the American Urology Association, The Kinsey Report and Wikipedia, here are ten unusual facts about sex that you might not have known before.
On any given day 400,000,000 people around the world (1 in 17 of us) will have sexual intercourse. Broken down further, about 4,000 people are having sex right now.
Sex cures headaches: Endorphins released into our bloodstream when we have sex not only give us pleasure, but also act as painkillers. That’s useful information to whip out the next time your partner uses a headache as a reason for refusing.
The average lovemaking session lasts around 15 minutes: Consisting of roughly 10 to 12 minutes of foreplay and around 3 to 5 minutes of intercourse.
Forget global warming and turn up your thermostat… Orgasms can be more intense in warmer conditions. The degree of vasocongestion – reddening or darkening of the skin known as the “sex flush” – is both more common in warmer temperatures and an indication of how intense an orgasm was.
Humans aren’t the only members of the animal kingdom that have sex just for fun. Dolphins and Bonobo chimps have also been observed engaging in sexual activity, when they are not in their natural reproductive cycles.
Homosexuality is not unique to humans: Many species have been observed engaging in homosexual activity; and male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality in all mammals.
If a woman experiences an orgasm during sex, she’s more likely to become pregnant, since orgasmic spasms in pelvic muscles can help move sperm up the vaginal canal to the uterus.
Many elderly people can and do have frequent sex: At age 70 — 73% of males are still potent; and 30% of women aged 80 or older still have sex.
Viagra has made erectile dysfunction (affecting 10–12% of men) a household phrase, but the opposite problem, premature ejaculation (affecting 24–27% of men), is actually more common. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is currently reviewing a drug called Dapoxetine as a cure for this problem.
70% of women would rather eat chocolate than have sex.
Should I be proud or saddened?
So today I come across this article about a local man...
In reading the article I've come across a dilemma - one that some of my readers might have as well. Should one be angry at this man for doing such a horrible stupid thing on the road - driving way too fast, drunk, and obviously distracted. Or should we applaud him for such acts? Really, how does one do all of that at once? And exactly how was he "either partiall or completely in the back seat of the car" AND still driving AND having sex AND still going 85 mph? Sounds like someone has some real talent, it's probably going to go to waste in jail. Sorry buddy. Might want to pull over next time, then you'll have FULL use of the backseat, and won't have to worry about a silly little lawsuit.
Alleged drunken sex at 85 mph sparks Va. lawsuit
Friday - 6/17/2011, 8:16am ET
Michelle Basch, wtop.com
FAIRFAX COUNTY, Va. -- Jaws dropped in a Fairfax County courthouse after a Woodbridge man is accused of having sex while driving at 85 miles per hour on the Beltway.
Court records show the driver was returning from his 21st birthday party in Baltimore when he crashed into a taxi near Telegraph Road in May of last year. The driver was convicted of drunken driving, but the cab driver filed suit asking for $75,000 in damages.
The suit claims at the time of the crash, the defendant was either partly or completely in the back seat of the car.
The young man's lawyer tells the Washington Post there's no evidence his client was doing the deed at the same time he was driving.
A trial is set for next week.
In reading the article I've come across a dilemma - one that some of my readers might have as well. Should one be angry at this man for doing such a horrible stupid thing on the road - driving way too fast, drunk, and obviously distracted. Or should we applaud him for such acts? Really, how does one do all of that at once? And exactly how was he "either partiall or completely in the back seat of the car" AND still driving AND having sex AND still going 85 mph? Sounds like someone has some real talent, it's probably going to go to waste in jail. Sorry buddy. Might want to pull over next time, then you'll have FULL use of the backseat, and won't have to worry about a silly little lawsuit.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
And three... Strange Sex Facts, Day 3
This time from the Examiner.
Strange sex facts: 15 statistics to impress your friends with.
People around the world would rather go out with their friends than have sex. More than a fifth (22%) choose their peers rather than having sex with a partner (19%), while a further 10% prefer to either play sport or go shopping.
The smallest erect penis on record was just 1cm long.
At age seventy, 73% of men are still potent.
Women are most likely to want to have sex when they are ovulating.
30% of women over the age of 80 still have sexual intercourse either with their spouse or boyfriends.
Women with a Ph.D. are twice as likely to be interested in a one-night stand than those with only a Bachelor's degree.
A man’s penis not only shrinks during cold weather but also from nonsexual excitement like when his favorite football team scores a touchdown, etc.
According to Playboy, more Americans lose their virginity in June than any other month.
Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being
Marilyn Monroe, the most celebrated sex icon of the 20th century, confessed to a friend that despite her three husbands and a parade of lovers, she had never had an orgasm.
The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy.
A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
The Romans would crush a first time rapist’s gonads between two stones. Hmm, not a bad idea.
Wyoming’s Grand Tetons mountain range literally means “Big Tits”.
It's been estimated that one out of every two hundred women is born with an extra nipple.
Strange sex facts: 15 statistics to impress your friends with.
People around the world would rather go out with their friends than have sex. More than a fifth (22%) choose their peers rather than having sex with a partner (19%), while a further 10% prefer to either play sport or go shopping.
The smallest erect penis on record was just 1cm long.
At age seventy, 73% of men are still potent.
Women are most likely to want to have sex when they are ovulating.
30% of women over the age of 80 still have sexual intercourse either with their spouse or boyfriends.
Women with a Ph.D. are twice as likely to be interested in a one-night stand than those with only a Bachelor's degree.
A man’s penis not only shrinks during cold weather but also from nonsexual excitement like when his favorite football team scores a touchdown, etc.
According to Playboy, more Americans lose their virginity in June than any other month.
Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being
Marilyn Monroe, the most celebrated sex icon of the 20th century, confessed to a friend that despite her three husbands and a parade of lovers, she had never had an orgasm.
The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy.
A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
The Romans would crush a first time rapist’s gonads between two stones. Hmm, not a bad idea.
Wyoming’s Grand Tetons mountain range literally means “Big Tits”.
It's been estimated that one out of every two hundred women is born with an extra nipple.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Surprising Sex Facts Day #2
This time from the Sun...
-- In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals ? but the animals must be female.
-- The age of consent in Japan is just 13.
-- According to a survey by condom manufacturers Durex, the Chinese have the world's highest average number of sexual partners: 19. Strangely, however, the same survey found that 11 per cent of Chinese have never had an orgasm.
-- In the 15th century, prostitutes in the Italian city of Venice were legally obliged to go topless in public at all times.
-- More than one in five Turks say they've had sex at school.
-- The male praying mantis cannot mate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
-- The animal with the biggest penis, relative to its body size, is the barnacle. Its penis can grow to 10 times the length of its body.
-- In the town of Willowdale in Oregon, USA, it's illegal for a man to swear during sex with his wife.
-- Cleopatra owned one of the world's first vibrators. It was a small container filled with buzzing bees.
-- A pig's orgasm can last half an hour.
--Icelanders are more likely than the people of any other nation to use vibrators - 52 per cent of them own one.
-- Everyday, 200 million couples around the world have sex.
--Female marsupials (Australian creatures like kangaroos and duck-billed platypuses) have two vaginas.
-- When the Egyptians conquered Libya in the 13th century BC, they removed and kept 13,320 penises belonging to defeated enemy soldiers
Monday, June 13, 2011
In a Fact Finding Mood... Surprising Sex Facts Day #1
So, I decided for a fun week - lets look at sex facts. You know the weird things about sex that make it interesting.
For today, brought to us by FoxNews (yes, on their website even!)
Why? Likely because men are more stimulated by the visual whereas women often prefer erotica where their imagination can fill in the blanks.
2. If getting down involves being tied up, the man is most often the one bound.
Why? Studies say that it’s because men spend most of the time needing to be the ones in control. So, relinquishing that control is the turn on.
3. According to Alfred Kinsey’s “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male,” 81 percent of men say they have experienced nocturnal emissions.
Why? That’s an easy one. Men dream about sex. Women do as well. There are just fewer statistics on the subject because, according to Planned Parenthood, there is less “evidence” to research. (This lack of “evidence” may also be why research tells us that men average 11 erections a day and nine per night. But we don’t have comparable stats for women).
4. The most popular flavor of edible underwear is cherry. The least popular is chocolate.
Why? This one has me stumped too. Personal preference, I suppose. But a survey of sex shop owners came up with this little factoid. And they certainly would be the experts on that count.
5. According to the books, in Fairbanks, Alaska, it’s illegal for moose to have sex on the city sidewalks.
Why? It’s dangerous to passersby, as you can imagine. The problem is enforcement, as you can also imagine.
6. Having sex can make a woman look younger and more attractive.
Why? The experts agree: When a woman has sex, she produces amounts of the hormone estrogen, which gives a shine to the hair and a smoothness to the skin. Increased blood flow means a flush of the cheek and even a pout of the lips. And because sex also increases the production of collagen, having sex can ward off age spots and sagging. Some even call sex the real fountain of youth.
7. You could say healthy sperm is a hard core athlete with serious staying power. It takes a sperm one hour to swim seven inches. Although ejaculate travels at 28 miles per hour during its initial spurt. (For reference, 27.1 mph is the world record for the 100 yard dash).
Why? To get the job done, of course. Sperm are on a mission to fertilize, so the heartier the better. Not to mention the more the merrier. Did you know that studies show that throughout a man’s lifetime he will ejaculate approximately 18 quarts of semen. (That’s half a trillion sperm.)
8. Having a Ph.D. makes a woman twice as likely to be interested in a one-night stand as her Bachelor degree holding counterparts.
Why? Well, some argue it’s because she’s not worried about him ever buying the cow, if you follow the metaphor. A woman with a Ph.D. doesn’t need to use her milk to get a man in order to support herself, she’s got a degree to help her make the big bucks. So, sex can be about pleasure for women in the same way in can for men.
9. Fourteen percent of men and 60 percent of women say they did not enjoy sex the first time.
Why? Well, the disparity likely comes from the fact that women have historically and unnecessarily felt guilty about having sex for the first time, a feeling most men do not have. It is also a result of women not knowing what to expect since the topic of sex was, for a long time, concerned improper for women. Then there’s the issue of not having a partner who is able to please her since the old in and out doesn’t work for a woman the way it does for a man.
10. More women talk dirty during sex than men, according to Playboy Magazine.
Why? Women like the auditory simulation much like men like the visual. Studies show that women find pleasure in talking dirty and doing it inspires their partner to do the same, which they also find arousing.
11. Although no one can agree on an exact number, a noteworthy percentage of women have said, when surveyed, that they prefer chocolate to sex.
Why? Research has shown that the same chemical that causes the ecstatic highs in sex, phenylethylamine, is also found in chocolate. And eating chocolate as opposed to having sex means, as the saying goes never having to say you’re sorry…
Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2010/10/21/surprising-sex-facts/#ixzz1PCmcaKo6
For today, brought to us by FoxNews (yes, on their website even!)
1. When it comes to online porn, men are 6 times more likely than women to seek it out.
Why? Likely because men are more stimulated by the visual whereas women often prefer erotica where their imagination can fill in the blanks.
2. If getting down involves being tied up, the man is most often the one bound.
Why? Studies say that it’s because men spend most of the time needing to be the ones in control. So, relinquishing that control is the turn on.
3. According to Alfred Kinsey’s “Sexual Behavior in the Human Male,” 81 percent of men say they have experienced nocturnal emissions.
Why? That’s an easy one. Men dream about sex. Women do as well. There are just fewer statistics on the subject because, according to Planned Parenthood, there is less “evidence” to research. (This lack of “evidence” may also be why research tells us that men average 11 erections a day and nine per night. But we don’t have comparable stats for women).
4. The most popular flavor of edible underwear is cherry. The least popular is chocolate.
Why? This one has me stumped too. Personal preference, I suppose. But a survey of sex shop owners came up with this little factoid. And they certainly would be the experts on that count.
5. According to the books, in Fairbanks, Alaska, it’s illegal for moose to have sex on the city sidewalks.
Why? It’s dangerous to passersby, as you can imagine. The problem is enforcement, as you can also imagine.
6. Having sex can make a woman look younger and more attractive.
Why? The experts agree: When a woman has sex, she produces amounts of the hormone estrogen, which gives a shine to the hair and a smoothness to the skin. Increased blood flow means a flush of the cheek and even a pout of the lips. And because sex also increases the production of collagen, having sex can ward off age spots and sagging. Some even call sex the real fountain of youth.
7. You could say healthy sperm is a hard core athlete with serious staying power. It takes a sperm one hour to swim seven inches. Although ejaculate travels at 28 miles per hour during its initial spurt. (For reference, 27.1 mph is the world record for the 100 yard dash).
Why? To get the job done, of course. Sperm are on a mission to fertilize, so the heartier the better. Not to mention the more the merrier. Did you know that studies show that throughout a man’s lifetime he will ejaculate approximately 18 quarts of semen. (That’s half a trillion sperm.)
8. Having a Ph.D. makes a woman twice as likely to be interested in a one-night stand as her Bachelor degree holding counterparts.
Why? Well, some argue it’s because she’s not worried about him ever buying the cow, if you follow the metaphor. A woman with a Ph.D. doesn’t need to use her milk to get a man in order to support herself, she’s got a degree to help her make the big bucks. So, sex can be about pleasure for women in the same way in can for men.
9. Fourteen percent of men and 60 percent of women say they did not enjoy sex the first time.
Why? Well, the disparity likely comes from the fact that women have historically and unnecessarily felt guilty about having sex for the first time, a feeling most men do not have. It is also a result of women not knowing what to expect since the topic of sex was, for a long time, concerned improper for women. Then there’s the issue of not having a partner who is able to please her since the old in and out doesn’t work for a woman the way it does for a man.
10. More women talk dirty during sex than men, according to Playboy Magazine.
Why? Women like the auditory simulation much like men like the visual. Studies show that women find pleasure in talking dirty and doing it inspires their partner to do the same, which they also find arousing.
11. Although no one can agree on an exact number, a noteworthy percentage of women have said, when surveyed, that they prefer chocolate to sex.
Why? Research has shown that the same chemical that causes the ecstatic highs in sex, phenylethylamine, is also found in chocolate. And eating chocolate as opposed to having sex means, as the saying goes never having to say you’re sorry…
Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2010/10/21/surprising-sex-facts/#ixzz1PCmcaKo6
Sunday, June 12, 2011
What does your favorite sex position say about you??
Oh yes, I think I have an addiction to askmen. But they provide some good shit, and this one is really good. What does your favorite sex position say about your personality. This could be telling. Besides, I swear to god, these days one of the first things guys ask (me at least, and maybe that's just the freaks I go out with) is what is your favorite position. I'm thinking my new answer should be something like - you, in the kitchen baking me a pie... I like pie, that sounds good.
First, in italics, askmen's words, then my own.
Doggy Style
You have a real disdain toward women, and you try and degrade them any chance you get. This stems from deep insecurities rooted in the many rejections you suffered in high school, mostly due to your overwhelming acne and your complete inability to express yourself through fashion. Now that your face has cleared up and you’ve read a couple of AskMen fashion articles, girls actually want to have sex with you (after a few martinis) -- and this is your chance for payback. Doggy style is the best way for you to completely demean your partner by implementing any one of the following: the Donkey Punch, the Ram, the Bucking Bronco, and your all-time favorite, the Dirty Sanchez.
Well then, boys who like to do it dog style.... sorry about your luck with women. Because if she reads this or ask men, she's not gonna want you. Sounds like you are a real asswipe. And if you implement any of the following: Donkey Punch, the Ram, Bunking Bronco, or Dirty Sanchez with me you better be a fast runner because I'm liable to go Lorena Bobbit on your ass (if you need to look up any of those references go to Urban Dictionary).
Missionary
You’re someone who doesn’t like to take chances and prefers playing by the rules. That’s why instead of pursuing your childhood dream of becoming a trapeze artist, you’ve been working at the same truck-rental company since college. Luckily for you, your boss’ daughter doesn’t love you for your spontaneity in the bedroom. She loves you because you always speak in a monotone, only ever order chicken at restaurants and still find Jeff Foxworthy hilarious. Besides, whenever she craves sexual enlightenment, she calls your brother, the trapeze artist.
Well, sounds like you might be boring. Well, shit. That again doesn't bode well for you. But then again, playing by the rules doesn't always have to be a bad thing... But if she's moving on to another guy (or gasp girl) you might want to step it up.
The Cowgirl
You don’t believe in hard work and are used to everything being handed to you on a silver platter. You’re an only child, so all your life your parents bowed to your every whim (did you really need that mini roller coaster built in your backyard?) to make up for the fact that they just didn’t want to do it with each other anymore. Even the girl you’re with now is the daughter of family friends, and the only reason she’s still with you is because the consulting job your uncle got you helps pay for her expensive coke habit. And if all it takes for her to get her fix is to hop on board Kaptain Kielbasa for five minutes until you finish, then so be it. After all, ripping lines in the condo your daddy bought you sure beats working the streets.
Ohh, snap (and yes, I still use that phrase - sorry). Sorry boys. This one doesn't work well for you either. Sounds like you are one lazy motherfucker. If the girl does all the work (even if this position is great for getting her off), means you are one lazy ass. Soundslike you need to step it up. So step it up dude.
The Spoon
There’s nothing more important to you in this world than being in a relationship. All your life you’ve been picked on by your friends, and you've developed low self-esteem as a result. The mere idea of ever sticking up for yourself gives you massive anxiety. The only person that doesn’t pick on you is your girlfriend. She tells you that your body is too spindly, your hair is too thin and your pork loin is too dry to be helpful, not abusive. That’s why you’ll gladly do her nails, zip up her dress and fill her wallet before she goes clubbing with the girls, and why you look forward to holding her hair back when she pukes in the toilet at 4:00 a.m. After all, if she’s blackout drunk, you can spoon her all night long.
Hey dude, you are a pussy. Grow a cock and some balls and be a man, enough said.
The Cat
If you’ve mastered this Tantric favorite, than sex is only your third favorite thing in the world, right behind drum circles and goji berries. You don’t mind physical orgasms, but you prefer spiritual ones, in which your infinite soul is intertwined with your partner’s infinite soul in a fractal sea of synchronicity. Unfortunately, your girlfriend refuses to give you an orgasm -- both physical and spiritual -- until you cut off those mangy dreads. Or better yet, shower.
What the hell is the cat? And if you know, let me know. All I know is that I'm not into hippy's - they smell bad.
So, the quick answer is that askmen thinks that all favorite sex positions are negative, well that's not good! So what should you do? My best answer... like them ALL! Play, explore and have one bad ass (in a good way) sex life.
First, in italics, askmen's words, then my own.
You have a real disdain toward women, and you try and degrade them any chance you get. This stems from deep insecurities rooted in the many rejections you suffered in high school, mostly due to your overwhelming acne and your complete inability to express yourself through fashion. Now that your face has cleared up and you’ve read a couple of AskMen fashion articles, girls actually want to have sex with you (after a few martinis) -- and this is your chance for payback. Doggy style is the best way for you to completely demean your partner by implementing any one of the following: the Donkey Punch, the Ram, the Bucking Bronco, and your all-time favorite, the Dirty Sanchez.
Well then, boys who like to do it dog style.... sorry about your luck with women. Because if she reads this or ask men, she's not gonna want you. Sounds like you are a real asswipe. And if you implement any of the following: Donkey Punch, the Ram, Bunking Bronco, or Dirty Sanchez with me you better be a fast runner because I'm liable to go Lorena Bobbit on your ass (if you need to look up any of those references go to Urban Dictionary).
You’re someone who doesn’t like to take chances and prefers playing by the rules. That’s why instead of pursuing your childhood dream of becoming a trapeze artist, you’ve been working at the same truck-rental company since college. Luckily for you, your boss’ daughter doesn’t love you for your spontaneity in the bedroom. She loves you because you always speak in a monotone, only ever order chicken at restaurants and still find Jeff Foxworthy hilarious. Besides, whenever she craves sexual enlightenment, she calls your brother, the trapeze artist.
Well, sounds like you might be boring. Well, shit. That again doesn't bode well for you. But then again, playing by the rules doesn't always have to be a bad thing... But if she's moving on to another guy (or gasp girl) you might want to step it up.
You don’t believe in hard work and are used to everything being handed to you on a silver platter. You’re an only child, so all your life your parents bowed to your every whim (did you really need that mini roller coaster built in your backyard?) to make up for the fact that they just didn’t want to do it with each other anymore. Even the girl you’re with now is the daughter of family friends, and the only reason she’s still with you is because the consulting job your uncle got you helps pay for her expensive coke habit. And if all it takes for her to get her fix is to hop on board Kaptain Kielbasa for five minutes until you finish, then so be it. After all, ripping lines in the condo your daddy bought you sure beats working the streets.
Ohh, snap (and yes, I still use that phrase - sorry). Sorry boys. This one doesn't work well for you either. Sounds like you are one lazy motherfucker. If the girl does all the work (even if this position is great for getting her off), means you are one lazy ass. Soundslike you need to step it up. So step it up dude.
There’s nothing more important to you in this world than being in a relationship. All your life you’ve been picked on by your friends, and you've developed low self-esteem as a result. The mere idea of ever sticking up for yourself gives you massive anxiety. The only person that doesn’t pick on you is your girlfriend. She tells you that your body is too spindly, your hair is too thin and your pork loin is too dry to be helpful, not abusive. That’s why you’ll gladly do her nails, zip up her dress and fill her wallet before she goes clubbing with the girls, and why you look forward to holding her hair back when she pukes in the toilet at 4:00 a.m. After all, if she’s blackout drunk, you can spoon her all night long.
Hey dude, you are a pussy. Grow a cock and some balls and be a man, enough said.
If you’ve mastered this Tantric favorite, than sex is only your third favorite thing in the world, right behind drum circles and goji berries. You don’t mind physical orgasms, but you prefer spiritual ones, in which your infinite soul is intertwined with your partner’s infinite soul in a fractal sea of synchronicity. Unfortunately, your girlfriend refuses to give you an orgasm -- both physical and spiritual -- until you cut off those mangy dreads. Or better yet, shower.
What the hell is the cat? And if you know, let me know. All I know is that I'm not into hippy's - they smell bad.
So, the quick answer is that askmen thinks that all favorite sex positions are negative, well that's not good! So what should you do? My best answer... like them ALL! Play, explore and have one bad ass (in a good way) sex life.
Yes, Please and Thank You. Foods to Increase your libido!
Lets work on some homeopathic ways to increase that libido! Who needs that little blue pill when you can just eat some yummy food? So boys and girls - make a fun shopping trip and have a nice bedroom picnic and fuck away!
Celery
Seriously, really? Celery! Turns out that celery contains androsterone which is an odorless hormone released through male perspiration and turns woman on. Hell yeah! Crunch away some raw celery. It's not only good for you health wise, it's good for your sexually!
Raw oysters
We've all know about the aphrodisiac quality of raw oysters - it's high in zinc which raises sperm and testerone production. Oysters also contain dopamine - which is a hormone known to increase libido - even the act eating a oysters - the slurping of a raw oyster is erotic!
Bananas
Not only does the banana have a very "erotic-look!" They contain bromelain enzyme which increases libido and reverses impotence in men (sorry guys... but damn that's pretty awesome, and a great natural alternative to Viagra!). Bananas also have tons of potassium and B vitamins like riboflavin which are great for energy - and what's better for a great fuck session then lots of energy.
Avocado
Believe it or not, the Aztecs called the avocado tree ahucatl, or "testicle tree." Umm yeah. On a side note, not that I'm a huge fan of balls, but those Aztecs did have a point there... The avocado, while being very yummy .. they contains high levels of folic acid, which helps metabolize proteins, giving you more energy - bonus again for long sex sessions! They also contain vitamin B6 which is a nutrient that increases male hormone production and potassium that regulates a woman's thyroid gland. Both help increase the libido! So chop up some avocado.
Almonds (or nuts in general)
Almonds are extremely healthy for you. They have that great healthy fatty acid that apparently is a great raw material for men's healthy production of hormones. Also, the smell of almonds (not sure I get a strong smell from almonds - but I trust the "experts") is suppose to arouse passion is us women. So almond scented lotion or candles are great (of course, I'm not 100% convinced the smell of what they "say" is almond matches up with what I taste when I taste an almond, but I still like that smell that they tell me is almond...)
Mangoes, peaches and strawberries
Ahh fruit, the sexy food. Or at least that's what all the movies make you believe. What's better than champagne and strawberries? Or that's what the movies make it look like - I've yet to be seduced with such a platter - I must be missing out. But all the fruits are suggestive - as askmen.com says (yeah, I supposed I should have told you before now that this is an askmen list - you didn't think I was coming up with this list and all this information out of my ass did you?) The suggestion is to use fruit in foreplay and all the sweety syrupy juices - if you get my drift. If you don't - drip the juices on each others bodies and lick them off. Got it?
Eggs
Eggs are high in vitamins B6 and B5 - all those good B vitamins! B5 and B6 help balance hormone levels and fight stress - highly important if you actually want to maintain a healthy sex life - seriously unbalanced hormones and stress is a recipe for disaster if you want to get laid - just ask any man with a stressed out hormonal wife... Umm yeah.
Liver
Definitely a food lacking in SERIOUS sex appeal - liver is actually good for your libido in diet. Liver is a good source of glutamine which is a cellular fuel for your immune system and liver may help increase a slow down libido. Now, you might be like me and not care how good for you liver is, that shit isn't coming anywhere near me, so I did a little side research - yes all for you... According to wikipedia (and take that for what it is!) Dietary sources of L-glutamine include beef, chicken, fish, eggs, milk, dairy products, wheat, cabbage, beets, beans, spinach, and parsley. Small amounts of free L-glutamine are also found in vegetable juices and foods, such as tofu.
Chocolate
It's not just because woman have a chocolate fetish that borders on scary. (side note, I actually don't like chocolate and have been questioned - frequently - if I am actually a woman, I can assure you -- I AM). Chocolate contains theobromine - an alkaloid - which is similar to caffeine, and phenylethylamine - a chemical that produces feelings similar to "being in love" So really, chocolate does make you feel better!
I can assure you, I didn't come up with this shit on my own, all these crazy vitamins and minerals - I'm not nutritionist or doctor! So you can take my word for it, I found this on askmen.com and of course put my own spin, like I always do. But seriously, these are normal foods - except the liver - and I would bypass that - YUCK. Add them in and hopefully it helps add some fun.
Foods to Increase your libido
Seriously, really? Celery! Turns out that celery contains androsterone which is an odorless hormone released through male perspiration and turns woman on. Hell yeah! Crunch away some raw celery. It's not only good for you health wise, it's good for your sexually!
Raw oysters
We've all know about the aphrodisiac quality of raw oysters - it's high in zinc which raises sperm and testerone production. Oysters also contain dopamine - which is a hormone known to increase libido - even the act eating a oysters - the slurping of a raw oyster is erotic!
Not only does the banana have a very "erotic-look!" They contain bromelain enzyme which increases libido and reverses impotence in men (sorry guys... but damn that's pretty awesome, and a great natural alternative to Viagra!). Bananas also have tons of potassium and B vitamins like riboflavin which are great for energy - and what's better for a great fuck session then lots of energy.
Avocado
Believe it or not, the Aztecs called the avocado tree ahucatl, or "testicle tree." Umm yeah. On a side note, not that I'm a huge fan of balls, but those Aztecs did have a point there... The avocado, while being very yummy .. they contains high levels of folic acid, which helps metabolize proteins, giving you more energy - bonus again for long sex sessions! They also contain vitamin B6 which is a nutrient that increases male hormone production and potassium that regulates a woman's thyroid gland. Both help increase the libido! So chop up some avocado.
Almonds are extremely healthy for you. They have that great healthy fatty acid that apparently is a great raw material for men's healthy production of hormones. Also, the smell of almonds (not sure I get a strong smell from almonds - but I trust the "experts") is suppose to arouse passion is us women. So almond scented lotion or candles are great (of course, I'm not 100% convinced the smell of what they "say" is almond matches up with what I taste when I taste an almond, but I still like that smell that they tell me is almond...)
Ahh fruit, the sexy food. Or at least that's what all the movies make you believe. What's better than champagne and strawberries? Or that's what the movies make it look like - I've yet to be seduced with such a platter - I must be missing out. But all the fruits are suggestive - as askmen.com says (yeah, I supposed I should have told you before now that this is an askmen list - you didn't think I was coming up with this list and all this information out of my ass did you?) The suggestion is to use fruit in foreplay and all the sweety syrupy juices - if you get my drift. If you don't - drip the juices on each others bodies and lick them off. Got it?
Eggs are high in vitamins B6 and B5 - all those good B vitamins! B5 and B6 help balance hormone levels and fight stress - highly important if you actually want to maintain a healthy sex life - seriously unbalanced hormones and stress is a recipe for disaster if you want to get laid - just ask any man with a stressed out hormonal wife... Umm yeah.
Liver
Definitely a food lacking in SERIOUS sex appeal - liver is actually good for your libido in diet. Liver is a good source of glutamine which is a cellular fuel for your immune system and liver may help increase a slow down libido. Now, you might be like me and not care how good for you liver is, that shit isn't coming anywhere near me, so I did a little side research - yes all for you... According to wikipedia (and take that for what it is!) Dietary sources of L-glutamine include beef, chicken, fish, eggs, milk, dairy products, wheat, cabbage, beets, beans, spinach, and parsley. Small amounts of free L-glutamine are also found in vegetable juices and foods, such as tofu.
Chocolate
It's not just because woman have a chocolate fetish that borders on scary. (side note, I actually don't like chocolate and have been questioned - frequently - if I am actually a woman, I can assure you -- I AM). Chocolate contains theobromine - an alkaloid - which is similar to caffeine, and phenylethylamine - a chemical that produces feelings similar to "being in love" So really, chocolate does make you feel better!
I can assure you, I didn't come up with this shit on my own, all these crazy vitamins and minerals - I'm not nutritionist or doctor! So you can take my word for it, I found this on askmen.com and of course put my own spin, like I always do. But seriously, these are normal foods - except the liver - and I would bypass that - YUCK. Add them in and hopefully it helps add some fun.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Left handed Underware
So, left handed guys... I have something for you! Turns out that even underwear is made for the right handed people and it's just another thing out to get you. Not that I understand because when we go potty, we have to fully remove EVERYTHING. It's quite a process. But you can just remove the ol' penis and go.
I didn't know it was just a process to remove the ol' penis from the underwear - but apparently it is, and the flap in underwear is made for those who are right handed. But now, the designer, Hom, has developed new underwear for the left handed that will "save left-handed men up to three, often vital, seconds when visiting the loo," (and yes, it's a British company)
Instead of a traditional right handed slit, the new design will have a horizontal slit, that is universally accessible for both the left and right handed man - don't ask me how it works - I don't have a cock!
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