Dating while Short.

It's true.  I'm short.  In fact, I'm very short.  I like to say that, I'm 5'1" - on a good day, with shoes on.  But in reality I probably just barely break the 5 foot barrier - but you'll never hear me say that out loud.  I can't bear to say it out loud - that would make it real. 

Now there are some true advantages and disadvantages to being short in the dating world.  Some - believe it or not are both advantages AND disadvantages! 

POSITIVES:

1.  I can ALWAYS wear heels.  No matter what the situation, the man, nor the location - I can always wear high heels!  Any height from a little tiny kitten heel to a sky high hooker platform boot if I wanted.  All is fair game when you are so short that you need a step latter to get to most guys lips!  It's great too because I love me some good shoes, and even more - I love me some heels!  Flats are great and all, but they just don't carry the sex appeal that a nice heel does.  So for dates, give me a nice hot stiletto and we are good to go.  Unfortunately, I have gone on a date (actually TWO!!!) where unannounced to me the guy was shorter than I was - in flats - needless to say this was quite a shock (and a story for another time). 

2.  Men will never feel intimidated by my vertical size.  No man will ever feel intimidated by my vertical size.  There is no man on Earth who will ever be scared by a 5'1" blond girl. Ever. 

3.  Nearly always I will feel "little" to the man I'm with.  I like feeling smaller and protected when I'm with a man.  As I'm smaller in stature - I often feel this way.  If I ever feel bigger than a man, it's just not gonna work.  Even if a guy is over 6' but skinny as a rain - he's not gonna be able to protect me.  If I have to fight for my own honor in a bar fight (god knows, that I'm the type of girl that will be getting into one!), that man will not last.  I'll be picking up the former football player in the corner and taking him home - bye bye skinny. 

NEGATIVES:

1.  I grow horizontally.  Short people can't eat.  Yes, we aren't allowed to eat.  All food that we do consume doesn't help, and surely didn't help us grow vertically - instead it just settles on our midsection.  We have succumb to gravity and instead of the ideal rectangle shape, most of us have grown into a more circle or true square.  It's great for teaching shapes to youngsters - but not great for dating prospects.  Try hiding 5 lbs on a 6' person and a 5' person - there is a lot more surface area on that 6' person!  Yup, thank you very much!

2.  Boobs.  Like I said above, I'm a bit round.  I also was blessed with very very large breasts.  I have no idea how I was so blessed as my mom was skipped in this round of blessing.  To her "nearly A's" I'm a solid D/DD.  Try hiding these giant head like appendages in anything!  It's nearly impossible.  Bras aren't made pretty for big girls!  They are large sling slot like molds.  I used to pretend I was smaller, but then I would get the dreaded, "double boob"  or spillage over the top of the bra.  Yes, it used to be great to wear cute little bras, but the double boob is just ugly!  Anyway, when you are short, and have big boobs - any shirt/dress/top you wear tends to be a bit lower cut.  Lower cut = cleavage.  When you have cleavage and you are short, you are always BELOW eye level for men.  Hence they have a great view.  Yup, the downward view of your cleavage.  Try going on a date - talking to a man when they can look down the freaking Grand Canyon between your chest - it's hard to keep their attention!

3.  Kisses.  Yes, kisses.  I'm short.  It's hard to meet up with a man's lips.  Enough said.  Gotta sit down (which can lead to laying down) or lay down (which can lead to worse!)... Or you can stand up and stretch those toes - and I was never in ballet! 

All in all, I'll take short over all any day!!