Umm, ok. Now - call me a total bitch (and I probably am), but I want to know if you can pay your bills. Beyond that, it's not really my concern - on the first date especially! But, I'm in no place to support someone, and I don't want to get involved with some guy who needs me to support his ass. Granted, I would never want a guy to feel the same about me (and I can support myself and pay my bills thank you very much!). I don't need your 401K and W2 statements, but I just want a validation that you are able to pay your bills. That's it. Granted, living in DC there is so much of a focus on money - so it's a bit of a concern here.
2. "My last relationship was a disaster."
As much as I hate having THAT talk, eventually if you get into a relationship you do have to have that talk about past relationships - how they went, how many there were, if they scarred you for life. You know all that BS that got you where you are today - but that kind of talk will defiantly ruin a first date! A first date is a short amount of time and the last thing you want to waste time on is rehashing your past - focus on the present (learning about the person you are with) and the future possibilities with that person (or lets be honest and say most dates are failures - at least mine... and half the time you are plotting ways to end it...)
Like I just said, many first dates are failures (and often dismal failures that become those bad date stories that we all laugh about...) And if you are sharing deep dark secrets that you don't want anyone to know on these dates, lets just call you -- STUPID. Sharing secrets in a relationship might make you closer, but sharing secrets with a perfect stranger means that you have no expectation of privacy.
4. "I'm in recovery."
Didn't I just speak of this the other day - it's so nice when articles actually agree with each other (and so rare these days - especially with all these fluff pieces about relationships - not that I'm any better). But alcohol is great, drinking alochol in excess is not. And if you have a problem and you are getting help - that's awesome. But you don't have to tell your date right away. It's sensitive information (and one that could chase them away in seconds flat!) Let them get to know the real you because you reveal any of these issues - especially the ones you are working on - usually people can accept an issue if you are getting help (and it they can't accept it after knowing you - then they are obviously a self centered asswad that doesn't need your time!)
We all have our ups and downs in life. Sometimes things just go better than other times. But no one wants a negative nelly. It just pulls us down. So, what if your life is in the shitter and it seems like everywhere you turn something is going wrong? Well, first off - at least one thing is going right for you - you got a date... and that's a big plus that a lot of people can't even seem to get... Try to look on the positive side and fake it if you have to.
6. "My family is crazy!"
Everyone's family is blessed with a coo-coo crazy member (or two or the whole damn family). While I have to admit you have to keep your family drama silent for the first date - the family talk of where, who and such often comes up during the first date. And that's cool, if you want to talk about your crazy family, maybe a funny antidote or two. But keep the dramatics tucked away - if I knew half the crap about some of my friend's family drama and I went to date them I'd run for the hills.
The worst part about lying on the first date? Having to live up to those lies on future dates! If your goal is to have a one night stand and to never see this person again - by all means make up all the shit you want. You can be a foreign diplomat. But if there is any possibility of a future you are going to want to tell the truth, otherwise you are going to have to do a lot of explaining.
8. "Will you marry me?"
I cannot tell you how many times I've heard that story of "love at first sight..." You know, all that crap about a couple falling in love on the first date. Now, I'm not sure if I believe that's true, but I would like to hope that it is. But I cannot think of a faster way to chase someone away than telling them that you are in love with them and want them to be your intended. Keep that crap to yourself - even if you are feeling totally smitten.
Apparently, uttering this phrase will put you in the friends zone forever... Really? I would have never thought of that! And here my goal is to find a partner in life that will not only be my boyfriend (eventually husband) but also my best friend. Who else would would you want as your best friend other than your partner? It only seems obvious to me... So saying this phrase should be a compliment - but I'm obviously wrong - and that wouldn't be the first time!
10. "I'm still in love with my ex."
If you single handily want to ruin a date or end it very early... just mention an ex -- and say that you are still in love with him/her. It's the biggest warning light and stop sign there is out there. If you stick it out on a date where a person tells you that they are in love with their ex -- and you bitch about it later it's no one's fault but your own.
Hey, I'm frugal. I understand coupons. I don't see a problem with using coupons for a dinner out. Now, a lot of people - especially women would have a problem with that. So I would suggest leaving the coupons at home for the first date. If the first date goes well and you keep going out, you might be needing to saving a lot of money for future dates! So coupons might be very necessary.
12. "Do you want to come back to my place?"
Yeah, we've heard about this before... sex on the first date is not recommended. And I would have to say, usually that's the case. More often than not - even if there is awesome sexual chemistry if you give it up too soon, the guy tends to not go for it again (and lets be honest - it's usually guys.) But sometimes... first date sex can lead to something more - it's not always bad - but you have to hedge your bets, and first date sex, its not a good one.
Again, back to the positives! Don't complain about your job. We all have gripes about our jobs - they can be a pain in the ass. But jobs are a necessary evil in the society we live - we got bills to pay and money to earn.
14. "I'm obsessed with Botox."
Do you really want to sound like a statistic - the answer is no... We all have things we want to change about ourselves... but we also don't like to obsess about them... And over all guys don't care about little stuff like crows feet and such - and Botox really don't matter that much.
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