What does that sock mean??

I just came across this list on funnyordie and thought it was funny (I guess that's better than dying... as the site seems to imply that it has to be funny or you die... ok - bad joke, but I tried)

I never put a sock on my door handle in college to indicate I was doing the nasty.  Hell, I will fully admit that I was completely celibate during college (but that's another story, and the celibacy was not my choice... it just happened that way.) 

So, for those lucky enough to be having sex in a place where someone else could enter, roommates, parents, etc (you never know).  Use this handy guide for what each style of sock means.


Signal: Ratty sock
Translation: “I’m having terrible sex.”

Signal: Sock with a hole in it
Translation: “I’m having sex and the condom broke.”

Signal: Inside-out sock
Translation: “I’m masturbating.”

Signal: Two inside-out socks
Translation: “I’m masturbating. Join me.”

Signal: Argyle sock
Translation: “I’m having sex with someone who speaks in a Cockney accent, but they’re really hot, so I put up with it.”

Signal: Hanging gym sock
Translation: “I’m having sex with the Red Hot Chili Peppers.”

Signal: Striped sock
Translation: “I’m having sex with a biracial partner and/or zebra.”

Signal: Sock with monocle attached
Translation: “I’m having classy sex on top of leather-bound books.”

Signal: Muppets sock
Translation: “I’m having sex while thinking of wholesome puppets from my childhood to keep from ejaculating too quickly.”

Signal: Sock with a lump of coal in it
Translation: “I’ve been a bad lover this year.”