The "bad girls" burden

So, let me tell you a story.  It's kind of sad in a way.  Lets say, hypothetically a girl is good at sex or at least one part of sex (say, maybe the blow job).  We shall call her the "bad girl"  And maybe this Bad Girl has done a bit of reforming in the past little while (check Missing Mr. Right Now post).  And while she's got some great techniques in her back pocket she's not really handing that shit out anymore.  (Wait, not that she ever did!) 

Anyway, there is a true burden to being good in bed, especially when you are living the "celibate" lifestyle waiting for Mr. Perfect (even if that's a myth - "she" chooses to believe!)  It's amazing how many of the past men come out of the woodwork.  And it's not the good men (granted, how many men that are in the past would you consider "good?)  But it's the guys that you really didn't want to hear from again.  Think dates that you might have felt sorry for and played with... (no one said she was perfect - so suck it, that was BEFORE!)  Or guys with teeny peeny that might have been in the past that she might have dated, but it didn't work out, and lets be serious - if you are going to just fool around, without any commitment you really aren't going to chose the guy with the teeny peen! 

And then there is the really hard ones (pun maybe intended!) those guys coming back for more that "she" actually enjoined in bed.  You know how hard it is to resist that.  Especially when they are telling you how good you are in bed.  That's really hard to resist! 

Here's to all the reforming bad girls out there!  Trying to resist all the advances from guys coming back for more.

Snuggie Sutra. Sex with your Snuggie on!

So, I was watching Chelsea Lately the other night (one of my all-time favorite shows, and one of the funniest ladies ever!)  And she opened my eyes to a whole new world of sex... a whole new dimension of positions and things I had never imagined, and low and behold there is a book to instruct me!  Everyone - check out THE SNUGGIE SUTRA.  (And buy it from my Amazon link to the right - I get a 10% kickback and damn it, I might as well get this blog to pay me back! I KNOW you want it!)

So,  The SnuggieSutra describes itself as:

The book first began as a website in May 2009, but the "authors" has so many positions that they just had to write a book and it was released just last month - September 2010.  The book includes 100 Snuggie Sex positions, including 85 that have never been seen online! 

Now, I don't know about you, but I'm always cold - especially in the winter!  I always have a blanket on, now I haven't invested in the Snuggie, mostly because I have many blankets at home that I really do love, and I'm not sure if people would make fun of me relentlessly because of the Snuggie.  But lets me real - a Snuggie does have some real advantages, your hands are free, you can even get up and walk around and the blanket stays on.  Now, I don't know about those fools they show in the commercial who are wearing their snuggies out and and about.  That's just foolish, have their every heard of a COAT?  Now, that's just me...

But let's talk about sex... Right?  So, I'm cold just watching tv.  I'm fully clothed AND have a blanket on.  Now get me naked in bed, and EVEN if I'm turned on I can get cold when my skin is exposed to the elements (and I'm not even talking about having sex outside!).  Having sex with a Snuggie on has some possibilities.  Humm.  So how about some positions?

THE CHARLIE SHEEN:

He wears the Snuggie on his back.  For a while he was on top, but now it looks like he's going to hit bottom.  He's clearly on something, and he's covering it up. 
 
 

THE PARACHUTE

The eager anticipation.  The rush of adrenaline.  The thrill you feel at the end.  Sure it's a risk, but it's worth it.  You'll want to do it again and again. 

THE PITCHED TENT

She leans down over a picnic table with her arms through the Snuggie's sleeves.  He stands behind her, the remaining fabric draping over his broad shoulders.  You can take each other to high peaks, soothing valley's, and keep coming back for s'more.

About The Snuggie Sutra:


Sex is fun. Blankets are a pain in the ass.

You know how it is. You and your lover are in bed, eager to engage in coitus, orgasmic ecstasy easily within reach. But the blankets get tangled. Or tossed aside. She gets cold. He gets shrinkage.

There's never been a solution to having sex while avoiding a chill. Until the Snuggie.


The Snuggie Sutra is like the Kama Sutra, only with Snuggies. It's an illustrated guide to sexual positions that are both erotic and warm.

Online Dating for .... Ugly People???

So I found another strange online dating site.  This one is for... Ugly people. 

The site title, The Ugly Bug Ball describes itself as real dating for real people.   You can find dates (ugly people) in Canada, UK, United States, Australia, and Ireland (I'm SO sorry if your country isn't listed - must be your people are too pretty for the ugly people dating website!)

And as a side note, The Ugly Bug Ball got it's first engagement via the website... Check out the beautiful couple to the left.  And I must note, that it IS a man and a woman, their names are Tom Clifford and Janine Walker and they plan to marry in December following a whirlwind online romance.  After only four dates, and a mutual love of junk food and TV dinners (they aren't the same thing?)  they are now planning a December wedding.

So, if you are ugly... there is option for you... Try The Ugly Bug Ball.  Let me know how it works.  Humm, then again I'm not sure anyone would want to admit that they were on the dating website for UGLY people.

Sexually attracted to our President? I have your SOLUTION

Are you sexually attracted to our 44th President?  Do you dream about President Barack Obama late at night?  Do you wish that the President could jump out of your dreams and join you in bed?

Well now you can!  Introducing the President Obama Blow Up Sex Doll!  Available only in China (for the time being - you know they ship Chinese merchandise EVERYONE sooner or later), the Obama blow up doll is dressed in a blue suit with a red tie and President Obama's face screen printed on the blow up head. 

The Obama blow up sex doll was exhibited at the 8th Sex Culture Festival in the southern city of Guangzhou, China according to the London Telegraph and the the actual manufacture is unknown.  I tried googling it, but all I came up with were references to this expo and actual siting.  One can only wonder if like Big Foot - the actual Obama Sex doll is a thing of legend. 

One can only wonder these days how popular a Obama Sex doll would be - he's not the popular man he once was, but there sure are a lot of woman (and men) who would still fuck the shit out of him I'm sure.  And if they can sell a Sarah Palin Inflatable Love doll (no, I'm not making that up!) - I'm sure the Obama would sell for the liberals (or those conservatives who would love to take a walk on the wild side!)

Curly or Straight Hair...

I've written before about my love of Patti Stanger - a lot of what she says makes a lot of sense (granted some of the  crap she says makes me want to punch her - but then again, no one is perfect, right?) 

Well, today on yahoo, Miss Patti shows up as the #1 Buzz topic (I don't know about you, but I find these  Buzz lists extremely interesting and when it changes and something new shows up I double check the google/yahoo newsfeed.)  Anyway...  I looked up Patti's newsfeed and low and behold... Patti is getting bad press for being against curly hair.

Specifically, she write in her Book "Become Your Own Matchmaker." that, “Men appreciate hair they can run their fingers through…”

Now, being a girl with hair that can go either way (but with work either way).  This news is a bit interesting.  What do men really like?  Hell, my guess is most men don't care all that much as long as you have hair!   I know most men don't like the whole pixie short cut that makes you look like a boy (do you blame them?!?).  But if it's curly or straight?  is it that big of deal?  Yes, a guy would like to run his hands through your hair - but how often is he really going to do that?  Maybe in the beginning of the relationship - but honestly, is he really going to do that for very long.

I would much rather assume that healthy hair is preferred - no matter if your hair is straight or curly it better be healthy.  I'm talking about no frizzy curly hair - and no crunchy hair that has too much product in it!  And if your hair is straight - it can't be over processed and feel like straw. 

So is there a preference for curly or straight hair?  Someone tell me?  I like my hair both ways - but if men prefer it one way or the other... I might consider wearing it that way.  I said might... I'm not one to really bend my way for an entire gender.  But for a specific man - oh yes.  I like to please the man I'm with.  If he wants it straight I'll do that for him (if I like it that way as well - I'm not going to go totally against what I like for a man!  I'm not that insane - but if I like something and he likes it, I'm obviously going to please him!)  I'm a people pleaser you know.

*** As a side note, girls... use the right product for your hair and hair type, it makes ALL the difference in the world.  Don't skimp on products, it makes ordinary hair look extraordinary.  You can get a cheap hair cut and use good (not dimstore - think even Target) products that are right for your hair and you can look like a million bucks ***

Halloween is for.... whores.

So it's November 1st (yes, I can't believe it either - the older I get the faster the days, weeks, months and years fly by).  Last night was Halloween and being that Halloween was on a Sunday this year, people and younger people in general celebrated it all weekend long.  I think I saw people dressed from from Thursday night on. 

And what is Halloween?  It's supposed to be a night for cute little kids to dress up like goblins and gouls and to trick or treat door to door and get lots of candy.  You know to get massive sugar highs to drive their parents and teachers crazy (and to have their parents steal all of their candy out of their pumpkin while they were in school - yes Mom I was on to you!).  Ahh, but that's not quite what I see these days.

Maybe it's just because I'm older (although not wiser at all!), but all I see Halloween as is an excuse for the 21+ crowd to dress up and go out and get wasted.  And for those of the "fairer" gender to dress up like freaking street walkers.  You know, the sexy nurse, the sexy teacher, the sexy vampire.  You get it - add sexy to any generic thing and you have what a woman will dress up as.  The shit they get away with is a bit insane.  Add a shit load of alochol to that and you just have a mess waiting to happen. 

I'm no prude by any stretch of the imagination - but I do like to leave a little to the imagination!  These little costumes are a little much for out in public, now for the bedroom and a little roll play - now that sounds like a lot of fun.  But out in public where your boobs are out to here and your who-ha is out to there...  Yeah, not so great. 

I wonder what the statistics are for date rape, or just rape are on Halloween night when these girls are prancing around in their half naked selves all drunk off their ass?  I hate to be a woman hater... but why do some girls just make such bad bad decisions?  It makes the rest of us look so silly and so damn stupid!  I don't blame guys at looking at us as just sex objects if these girls are just putting themselves out there - why shouldn't they look?  It's just out there?  It's better than porn!  It's live porn.  If a man did that around me, I couldn't help myself, I'm no fool.

So girls, you don't have to be an M&M for Halloween, or a pumpkin.  You can still be cute and sexy without being slutty.  Cover up a little, ok?  Or gasp, leave Halloween to the kids?  I know that's asking a lot, and I'm not going to ask too much of people, I'm not that mean, and I'm leave you to your fun - I'm not that horrible.  Just because I don't get the Halloween thing myself, doesn't mean I won't ruin it for everyone, but seriously - cover up.  Don't be a whore

Dating and Mental Illness

Yes, mental illness... I said the bad word.  I can see people literally running away as I type. 

And you know what I say - GET OVER IT!  And now, lets get on with it.

So, dating with mental illness.  I'm not talking about some crazy disease, and I use the word disease loosely - when I think of disease, I think of something you are slowly dying from - mental illness, is something you are living with.  God, I sound like a freaking after school feel good special.  What I'm really talking about here is the every day, mental illnesses - you know, the ones we lump over the big umbrella of depression and anxiety issues.  Got it?  OK, good - lets move on.

I will disclose, I was diagnosed with both depression and anxiety issues in college.  It doesn't bother me to "talk" about it.  I'm open with it.  It took me awhile to accept it - it's got such a crappy stigma (more on that later), but once I did - I got my talk therapy (thanks Pine Rest - yes, I went to an OUT patient clinic that REALLY sounded like a mental institution!), and my meds.  I was with a drug pushing psychiatrists at first - he had me on 9 pills a day - I shook uncontrollably like I really had some major issues.  I actually sat in a college classroom once and had the professor ask me in the middle of class if I was ok.  Yes, I was shaking that badly...  But now, I'm down to one med a day, and I'm fine - no one would know I had issues if I didn't tell them, but I'm not ashamed...

If only...

So, dating... I'm not really one to keep secrets (as if you couldn't tell) and I like to be full disclosure when it comes to telling guys who I am and what I stand for... (Although, when I'm dating I'm surely not going to spread his shit and my stories of his and my crap to the world - I just don't like to keep my own secrets!).... Anyway, so... I don't like to keep my "issues" silent.  I've tried to just tell them off the bat.  Many guys have literally RUN away.  Any girl with head issues apparently is crazy (and not in the good way), wait a little while and then they think you are crazy for not telling them.  So what do you do?  Yeah, screwed either way...    And what do you do when the guy stays the night and sees you take those pills?  How do you explain that? 

So what is a girl to do?  And I'm not the only one - there are millions of men and women out there that have mental illnesses - we all have to think about it.  And hey people with the issues with us... I think you are the ones with the problem.  Get over it.  We are just fine.  At least we've accepted we have an issue and we are getting help for it - What about all your issues?  What don't you get help for that?