Hey guys, notice THIS!

I'm a girl (and not one of those who bitches about being called a woman either!) and I think askmen.com has some really awesome articles.  Today, Top 10 things she wants you to notice. 

So, guys... Word to the wise.  If you want to get laid or anything related to that, take note.  Notice these things, or at least some of them!  If you don't, she's going to get all huffy and it's just not in your best interest.

In reverse order according to askmen.com (but I have to say, I don't think it really matters what order they are in!)

Number TEN: Her Shoes.  You don't have to have a shoe fetish to notice her shoes (although, from one shoe lover ... from experience dating a guy with a shoe fetish is damn fun - it gives you a reason to buy really cute high heals and a reason to wear them!  I highly recommend it.  What I don't recommend are the weird ass guys who take the shoe fetish thing to extremes, he can like you IN your shoes, but if he likes the shoes more than he likes you - let him have the shoes and move on!).  OK, back to the shoes....  guys, a woman’s posture, gait and presence are noticeably changed when she wears high heels, you actually do notice it, even if you don't think you do.  High heels also apparently make make our legs look longer (excellent for short people like me!), highlight our asses and re-angle her torso to make our boobs stand out.  All excellent features.  And let me tell you, for the most part, we wear these shoes to look hot, and why do we look hot?  well, for nothing other than for the men we are trying (or have) to attract.  So take note, and maybe say something next time. 

Number NINE: That she's funny. I've reviewed a lot of online profiles in my day, and also talked to a lot of friends (and other people) about what they want in a significant other (whether it be male/female/other - you never know!) and not once have I heard, "I want someone who doesn't have a sense of humor." or "I don't want someone that is funny."  Got it?  Of course we all want someone that makes us laugh.  Laughing is often the only thing that makes the day worth it.  When you are stressed and feel like giving it all up, a good joke can make it all better.  So, if your girl makes you laugh, if she's funny - guys just tell her.  Askmen.com suggests that it could be as simple as saying, My friends thought you were a lot of fun,” or just laughing genuinely when she shows off her comedic timing.  All I say is just laugh with her, and definitely not at her.  But don't blow smoke up her ass if she's not funny... she'll just continue to tell the same stupid jokes, and that's not helping anyone!  The same is true for guys, not funny is not funny.  And encouraging not funny is just not good.

Number EIGHT: That she smells different. This one I shall refer to Askmen, as I'm not a real fragrance type of girl, although I know many girls and guys that are.  Askmen says that girls really do want you to notice our scent and if we change our signature scent.  According to them, we pay close attention to the way we smell, finding the perfect balance of perfume, lotion and other scented products. and when we change that signature scent we want you to notice.  Humm, I guess they are saying, because I don't pay attention - I stink, in more ways than one.  But then again, I do wear perfume on occasion - maybe I do want the man to notice my signature scent, then again - the rule about perfume or cologne is that you don't really want him/her to notice it really, but just rather sense that you are smelling good, right? 

Number SEVEN: That she cleaned up.  Oh yes, lets follow one that's not so great with one that is HUGE.  A guy comes to a girls place and he better say something.  Even if it's just about the general theme of your apartment, house, dwelling... he better compliment something!  Now, if this guy is a regular visitor to your humble home - he should notice if you've cleaned up, made some changes, etc.  Now, for me... a girl who isn't exactly the best housekeeper in the world, these words of encouragement are VERY helpful in motivating me to keep a clean home, and also note, the more visitors I have the more often I clean, or keep it clean. But without any visitors I let the place look like ... well... it's hard to explain.  Lets just say, I've had people say they've never seen anything like it.  So, compliment me (or any woman) on the clean house - it helps maintain cleanliness!  

Number SIX: That she's been working out.  Probably the number one fatal mistake a man can make around a woman is not notice that she's either lost weight or is looking more toned.  So guys, seriously - even if you are wrong, always compliment a girl on her workouts (even if you think she's just going to the gym to gossip or show off her fancy workout gear - yeah, I've seen those bitches in the gym, stupid sluts take up the machines for the rest of us!)... Anyway, if your girl is making an attempt at getting fit, or staying fit, whatever the case may be, notice it (that is if you still want that girl - if you don't, don't notice, she'll be finding someone else!).  Besides, compliments, whether true or not, will encourage her to keep going and her looking good (or even better!) is not going to hurt you any, that's for damn sure.

Number FIVE: That she got waxed  Ouch.  I'm not sure if any of the guys out there have had hundreds of hairs ripped out by the roots, and from a very sensitive area.  Ohh and not just for "fun" but just to please YOU.  But hey, think about it.  Dude, if your woman gets waxed, down there... and you don't notice - and praise the freaking ground she walks on for doing it FOR you... you deserve to be completely dipped in hot wax yourself.  And lets see how you like it having every square inch of hair pulled off your body.  And let me tell you, I don't know about other girls, but I'm not going to wax that shit for just anyone, and I can't say I every have or ever will...  (If I ever feel the need, I'll put out the money for laser hair removal, the cost is worth it!), but dude, if she's waxing, notice it.  If you don't, you are a complete and utter asshole and you dont' deserve her. 

Number FOUR: That she got all "dolled up."  You know, it can take some girls hours to get all dressed up, with the clothes, the shoes, the makeup, the hair.  It's quite a production - that guys don't seem to understand or care about, and that's totally fine.  They/you don't have to understand the process or why we do it.  But what they do have to understand is that when it's all done and we appear before then looking all cute and shit we want to hear that.  It doesn't have to be some long drawn out ... "you are so beautiful, blah, blah, blah" Although that's great to hear.  But hey guys, something short and simple, like, "Wow, babe, you look amazing!" Makes the hours in front of the mirror worth it.  Don't ignore or get mad about the time we were in the bathroom, we want to look cute/hot/spectacular - especially if we are going out with you.  We want to look good on your arms, and you should want us to look good too!

Number THREE: That she has prepared an "occasion."  This one was a new one to me, again I shall refer to Askmen.  The website says that it's important to acknowledge when your woman makes an effort to create a special atmosphere for the two of you - such as  making an elaborate dinner or placing candles around the bedroom, otherwise known as an "occasion."  And to do so in return.  I guess the easiest way to put this is, when she puts effort into doing special things for you don't take it for granted, and for god sake don't let HER do all the work... you are supposed to do it as well.  If your relationship is a nice 80/20 split and she's taking the brunt of the 80%, she's going to go find some other dude that is going to provide a much higher percentage.  I like to think that both parties in a relationship should be putting in 60%, that way there is a good 20% leftover spillage to fill in the cracks when someone falls a little behind. 

Number TWO: That she has a new hairstyle  Ah, girls and their hair.  We love our hair - short, long, curly, wavy, straight.  But what we don't love is when you guys don't notice when we change it.  And I have to admit it, us girls, we notice very subtle changes and think it's HUGE.  Girls change their hair from auburn to copper and expect you to notice (hell, I don't even notice!).  It's not easy.  Just try, error on the side of, "Your hair looks great." and she might have changed it by just doing it differently or getting a whole new style at the salon - you are golden.  But dude, if you know she was going to the salon for a big cut, color and style.... MAKE SURE to compliment her on the results when you see her next. 

and .... Number ONE: That she's wearing new lingerie.  Yeah, I get it.  When you are getting down to business you just want to rip our clothes off.  But we often take time to pick out special bras and underwear sets just to turn you on.  So damn it, take a second, or even a millisecond to appreciate it.  Then rip it off and have your way with us.