Description (as if you needed one for this...): You are lying in bed, and one of you (honestly - usually the man) pulls a dutch oven - hopefully on accident.
How to recover: The first time, and you are new together - according to askmen.com - put it all on her (or him, and go over the top and make it a joke! Hopefully you will start laughing and it will all be over as quickly as the stink. Personally, I like this - mostly because I have some gas and I need an excuse. Askmen.com recommends the following for established couples, "give her the real dutch oven." - (yeah, note to askmen.com - I don't think this will work... bitches get mad when they have to smell that) And honestly, more often than not this will not go over so well.
2- Crossing one of her boundaries
Description: Ohh, this is easy to do. And can only take a fraction of a second. All a guy has to do is suggest an act that a woman is uncomfortable with - say anal or some type of role play - and poof it's all over but the fat lady singing.
How to recover: Askmen.com says you need to first apologize but also realize this is a great time to play the "I’m just so comfortable with you” card and that you respect her feelings and never want to put her in a situation that makes her uncomfortable. (humm, I think I know a couple of guys who have read this... a couple that haven't and just go right for crossing these boundaries and don't give a shit). Now, my suggestion, you are never going to get back those few precious seconds back before you uttered that weird request - so think about it before you ask next time (if there is a next time - and count your lucky stars if there is!). So take a break from everything and just go do something totally nonsexual and relax.
Description: Yes, dirty talk is great, but lets say your dirty talk is a "baby voice" or some according to askmen.com a twisted fantasy you've had since seeing a Star Trek episode in the 90's. She's creeped out (well, no shit!)
How to recover: Askmen.com says that you should turn it into a game... and let her know it's her turn to think of the "weirdest, most unsexy thing you can say during foreplay, wwhatever she says, she wins." If she buys this excuse - you won the absolute jackpot and need to keep this bitch, because you are never going to find anyone so gullible or stupid.
4- It hurts, it hurts… and not the good way!
Description: Think you are in bed, having fun. And something happens... Think of something that you get hurt from - askmen suggests the following: "falling off the bed together, getting a cramp at the most inopportune time, crushing her with your enormous ass or butting heads in the dark so hard that one of you comes up with a bloody lip."
How to recover: How to get over it? Laugh. I think stuff like this is hilarious. No one says that sex is what you see in the movies - it's not all perfect and beautifully choreographed. Instead its fully of awkward moments - that's what makes it fun and interesting.
Description: Askmen says, "If you called her by the wrong name during sex and the two of you weren’t role-playing you’re a jackass -- nothing I can say is ever going to help you get laid by that woman again. Ever. If you did it accidentally in passing, you still have a shot, but timing is everything if you’re going to diffuse her anger."
How to recover: Yeah, I have to say that I have been in bed with a guy and been in the moment and in my head I'm saying the wrong name, but thank god the wrong name didn't slip out - I've been lucky. But I will also tell you - that there is a big ass warning sign here - if you are saying a different name's man in your head while you are making out with another - I think we have an issue!!! Like your mind is obviously on another.
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