Bachelor Reserve releases 500K single men!

You can't help but laugh at The Onion.  I came across an article today - according to the Onion, President Obama is releasing 500,000 bachelors from the U.S strategic bachelor reserve to meet the increasing complaint that there are "no good men out there." 

Apparently, there are many "self-sufficient, professional women who are tired of playing games," who are looking for single men who are "smart but don't spend all their time on the Internet."  Expert, Geraladine Costa of the Association Of Professional Women thinks the "release" is unnecessary, citing that we should be using the men we already have.  and that we should be turning the "assholes, slobs" and "men who need mothers, not girlfriends" who already crowd the dating scene into desirable husbands. The men are being sent all over the world. 

I have to laugh about a release of single men.  It's like they grew them in a farm and release them when they are ready.  And ready only means that they are good enough for the good women.  There is some woman in a lab coat with a checklist - her hair in a tight bun and glasses dropped down on the bridge of her nose and interviewing the man until he is ready to go on the bus out to the "real world" and be released into the public... Wait, this isn't such a bad idea.  Maybe there should be a checklist before a man is allowed to date!