But I know enough about cars to judge a car based on what he drives (yes, there I go judging guys again! So suck it!) It's not an end all be all. But I will definitely judge a guy based on what he drives. I can't help it, again... You all do it, just admit it. I just talk about it and admit it for all of you!
I grew up in the Midwest. There were cows in the pasture behind my house - they weren't our cows, but they were definitely moo cows. There were also many farms around. So I definitely have a soft spot for a man who drives a truck. Yes, a big ol, Ford F-150 or Chevy. Yes, it's a bit embarrassing to admit I'm still a bit of a farm girl at heart. Nothing like climbing into a big ol truck and feeling like a little woman. Listening to the twangy country music and hair blowing in the wind. Also feeling like you could literally roll over the teeny pussy ass cars some of these dipshits out here drive. Yes, that's hot. And there is nothing like a guy who can handle his tools (and I'm actually talking about real tools here - believe it or not!) and do manual labor! Ohh, I'm getting a little hot here.
Like the truck man, I like a man with an SUV (although it doesn't have the same manly man appeal as a truck). An SUV is practical - you can put shit in a SUV - you can haul things if you have to. (And note, I have one too!) I just think of an SUV as just a "male" vehicle. I know that sounds kind of strange. But I think of a van as a "female" and the SUV as the male version. I mean there isn't much to say about the SUV, it just is what it is.. It's kind of the generic vehicle that works for everyone.
Humm, I have to look twice at the guy who is driving a little sports car. Is it compensating for something that is "missing" in his pants? From experience, I will tell you - usually yes. These are the guys that are driving the very expensive shiny little fast car, trying to impress everyone around. Let me tell you - that's the only impressing they will be doing - because when they drop their tighty whities (because that's what they wear!) you might have to do a little searching for their teeny peeny - sorry boys! Size doesn't matter, unless you can't tell when it goes in. Although, I will have to admit that the little sports car always catches my eye, they are cute, sexy and would be fun to drive (if I wasn't such a shitty driver - I'll stick with my tank). But I really do have to think twice when I see a guy driving one. Now, I do have to say, if the guy has this as his second car and as his "fun" car - it can be a different situation!
Ok, seriously. BORING. The boys that drive the Civics, the little cars... I understand the economy of them... yeah, yeah. I get all that. This is a different type of practicality than I mentioned during the SUV portion of this PSA. I get the idea behind the lower gas mileage and all that BS. I drove a civic for a couple of years, it's a dependable car. Dependable... Where is the fun, the excitement? And I'm definitely not talking about these guys that take these economy cars and make them into street racers - those fuckers are CRAZY. I'm talking about the guys who take the economy car and keep it stock. Boring, boring, boring. Yeah, I'm picking. Too damn bad.
Yeah, now... here is where I show that I'm probably not so fun and maybe a bit of a worry wort. I don't like motorcycles. They scare the shit out of me. Especially those crotch rocket type bikes when guys are out trying to see how fast they can go and weaving in and out of traffic and all and all being douche bags. I don't want to be worried about when I'm going to have to scrape my man off the road - I can handle blood just fine - but what I can't handle is a whiny man when he gets sick or is recovering from some surgery (I've done it enough with my father's many knee surgery's because my mother can't handle the sight of blood or incisions). I can handle a Harley man better, but I'm not really into a man in a lot of black leather, just makes me think of a very gay man and I don't like my man to be gay - I prefer him being into me only. Besides, I don't like long hair on men - and I really don't want to be some bitch on the back on some bike.
SO boys, pick your vehicle carefully. I'm not the only one who judges you based on what you drive. I'm just going to be the only one who tells you about it.
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