First Date mistakes, or why I never make it to a second date!

First dates.  Many of us have had a lot of them.  My mom once told me that I would have to kiss a lot of frogs before I could meet my prince (granted I don't think she imagined that there would be this many frogs or that I would be kissing many of them below their belt - oh snap!).  I'm no different, I've had a lot of first dates - and not a whole lot of second dates.  Many of them failed due to me and the man just not clicking - but a lot of them just didn't work because he never called back. 

So, there is an article on Match.com on First Date Mistakes that we can't afford to make.  I guess I shall be studying this and taking it to heart, and even nicer - it's based on my favorite (although unsucessful) form of dating - online dating!   

1. Avoid the ex-factor.  Really?  No shit.  I didn't need an article or a dating expert to tell me this one!  Seriously?  this one is common sense people and has been since the dawn of dating.  I really suck at dating and I could have told you that bringing up an ex on the first date is serious dangerous territoy.  But they also say don't bring up any ex anything - ie jobs etc because it's not a good idea to bring up your "sad past."  Instead keep it light and fun.  Well, what if your life is boring and sad and not so fun - like mine?  Well, then you are fucked. 

2. Flirting with disaster.  As a man or a woman you aren't suppsed to flirt with others while on your date, for example men shuldn't flirt with the waitress (I don't care if she's a 10 and your date is reaching for a 3).  Even harmless flirting (I have to remidn myself f that one) is bad news because the person you are with often things you are bored with that and needs additional distractions.  Now if this is the case and your date royally sucks - flirt away, some of the best missed connections I've seen happen while one person is on a date and the other person is ignoring them and a bistander notices and "falls in love"

3. Don’t dress for the bedroom. Knock yourself out, wear something cute on a date (and let me tell you men should at least put in an effort too! - nothing turns me off like a man who has put in NO effort to dressing for a date, and my scale is very small - but if you show up in jeans and a ratty t-shirt you lose!)  Don't get the stilleto heals, booty shorts and tiny t-shirt out for a first date, leave something to the imagination.  You don't want the guy thinking you are a hoe-bag the first time he seems you.  At least let that wait until the third or fourthdate.

4. Obey the food and beverage rule.  I'm not sure exactly what they think is the food and beverage rule - but we all know dating is not cheap - especially for men who feel the need to be good guys and pay for everything (you are awesome!)  Now, I'm a firm believer that date #1 should be coffee or a drink - nothing too expeisive with a quick out - the authors agree!  (sore one for me!)  But they say that there is nothing wrong with expecting a man to pay for the coffee, but after than you better be pitching in!  I dont' blame them. 

5. Hide the iPhone and BlackBerry.  Ohh, put away your phone, and don't get it out when you are on your date.  Guilty as charged, I'm a Blackberry addict.  I'm tied to mine.  It's embarassine.  I wish I could leave it while I go on a date.  I can't.  Sorry future spouse dude, you'll hae to just suck it up.

6. Do your homework.  Really?  I feel really strange about finding out something about a person before I meet them!  I want everything to come out generic in our conversations because I feel like a major stalker if find it online and then ask them abnout it.  I'll skip. 

7. It’s a first date, not an instant relationship.  Shit, really?