Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Sex: One Sad Girls' History, or one girl's sad history.

One thing that this blog and I have established over the last couple of months since I started writing this is that I'm a bit of a fan of sex - but this wasn't always the case.  And apparently this is memories week - because we are going back... way back to High School again.

Like many people I know, I lost my big ol' V card in High School, but I wasn't a super early bloomer.  It was in my 17th year, as a junior.  And let me tell you - back in the midwest, that's not so early...  Our county had the highest teen pregnancy rate - 13%.  (And while I'm a very intelligent girl - I finished as #2 in a class of well over 200 students, still to this day I feel like a dumb ass that in one of my classes for the longest time I couldn't figure out why this girl rushed out nearly every single morning.  It wasn't until months later when she started getting really "fat" that it dawned on me that she must be pregnant - thank god I didn't say something stupid to her - although, I think my diarrhea of the mouth has developed to be "better" with age, and it's much "better" or what other people would call, worse - these days.  I used to only make slight mistakes back then.) 

Anyway, back to the subject at hand.  I'm very good at the sidebar stories, but often forget to get back to the subject!  So highschool, lose virginity. I breakup with high school boyfriend, let me let you in on a little secret... I didn't like it, really nothing about it.  Honestly, sex and the whole shabang had no real redeeming qualities about it.  Yes, believe it or not.  I didn't give two shits about sex.  And you and you, close your mouth.  I know you can't believe it - but it's true.  I didn't care about the bj (I wasn't good), sex was a give or take, kisses was fun, but that's all I really needed. 

Bring on college, right.  All the booze, late night parties and sex a girl could want.  Right?  Try a very Conservative Christian college (in the county with the highest percentage of Republicans in the nation - and hey, I got NO problem with the GOP but with a overage of any one "type" of people and it's overkill - especially when they are zealots, and hello - crazy zealots!).  And a dry campus (and we are talking REALLY dry, no alochol), ohh and wait, a strict curfew (with people checking on you), no men in girls rooms and the likewise (also with people checking on you), and and here is the kicker - there were supposedly 5 girls to every 1 guy.  And while I'm not going to check the stats exactly right now, it's pretty damn true.  And I wasn't a sorority girl who was going to give it up to every guy.  (and oh yeah, I did have a reason to go to the college, my education was great, and I paid a huge price for it - would I do it again - ummm, I'd have to think very seriously about that one!)

SO, for four years I... avoided the avid church goers and their very condensing ways (and their thrice weekly "church services" on campus), drank in secret (gotta love the nalgene bottle! when I did (or traveled to the nearest big town (30 min away and went the Midwest version of "clubbing"), helped friends sneak their boytoys into their rooms, and lastly didn't get ANY ass of my own - but really didn't care about it.  Like I said before, I didn't miss what I didn't know!

I entered the world of DC.  And about a year into my "adventure" and a couple of failed relationships I meet a man we shall call "M."  M, thank you.  I hold his cock dear to my heart.  For his cock opened doors to me for which I never shall be able to explain.  Sex is good, Sex is great, Sex is good exercise (also a high school joke).  But above all else, sex is highly enjoyable!. 

So that's my story,  I shall stick to it, and from now on - I shall love sex.  No thanks to shitty high school sex, and my celibate period during college.  But thanks to one man in 2004 I was "cured" forever! 

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