Diarrhea of the Mouth

Years and years ago, and many men ago, I was told I had "diarrhea of the mouth."    What is that you ask?  Well, I have a problem of speaking before I think about what I say.  Yes, I just blurt out before I really realize the ramifications of what I say (this also goes for typing as well). 

Let's discuss.

I have a long history of finding myself deep in a conversation - often about something serious.  The conversation can be between me and just one other person or multiple people.  But the result is all the same.  The conversation will be rolling along at a nice clip.  And then I make a comment without thinking.  It will be highly inappropriate on accident.  Something totally not funny, accidentally inappropriate for "mixed company", or something totally off the wall that offends someone in the group. 

All of a sudden everyone gets quiet, looks at me and can't believe what I said.  Yes.  I'm THAT person.  That one.  It's not that I mean it.  Lets just say that we are deep in a conversation about your ex girlfriend.  You are telling me about how it didn't go so well and that the breakup was a bit hard.  I reply in a joking manner, "Bitch!"  The look I get from you, the questioning look, you know part offended, part unbelief that I would call your ex, a woman I didn't know, a woman that you loved, a woman that you aren't quite over yet a bitch - how dare I?  Oops.  Yes, I was just trying to be funny, but I failed!  Again, the diarrhea of the mouth gets me again! 

The funny thing is that I'm a bit of a control freak in every other part of my life.  I control my thoughts, my emotions, my moves.  I control everything I do down to the letter.  But put me in a situation where I have to think on my feat and can't plan and control my every move, I end up with diarrhea of the mouth. 

So next time someone says something inappropriate, think of me... and just smile and laugh.  It's just because they didn't think first.