Dating and Mental Illness

Yes, mental illness... I said the bad word.  I can see people literally running away as I type. 

And you know what I say - GET OVER IT!  And now, lets get on with it.

So, dating with mental illness.  I'm not talking about some crazy disease, and I use the word disease loosely - when I think of disease, I think of something you are slowly dying from - mental illness, is something you are living with.  God, I sound like a freaking after school feel good special.  What I'm really talking about here is the every day, mental illnesses - you know, the ones we lump over the big umbrella of depression and anxiety issues.  Got it?  OK, good - lets move on.

I will disclose, I was diagnosed with both depression and anxiety issues in college.  It doesn't bother me to "talk" about it.  I'm open with it.  It took me awhile to accept it - it's got such a crappy stigma (more on that later), but once I did - I got my talk therapy (thanks Pine Rest - yes, I went to an OUT patient clinic that REALLY sounded like a mental institution!), and my meds.  I was with a drug pushing psychiatrists at first - he had me on 9 pills a day - I shook uncontrollably like I really had some major issues.  I actually sat in a college classroom once and had the professor ask me in the middle of class if I was ok.  Yes, I was shaking that badly...  But now, I'm down to one med a day, and I'm fine - no one would know I had issues if I didn't tell them, but I'm not ashamed...

If only...

So, dating... I'm not really one to keep secrets (as if you couldn't tell) and I like to be full disclosure when it comes to telling guys who I am and what I stand for... (Although, when I'm dating I'm surely not going to spread his shit and my stories of his and my crap to the world - I just don't like to keep my own secrets!).... Anyway, so... I don't like to keep my "issues" silent.  I've tried to just tell them off the bat.  Many guys have literally RUN away.  Any girl with head issues apparently is crazy (and not in the good way), wait a little while and then they think you are crazy for not telling them.  So what do you do?  Yeah, screwed either way...    And what do you do when the guy stays the night and sees you take those pills?  How do you explain that? 

So what is a girl to do?  And I'm not the only one - there are millions of men and women out there that have mental illnesses - we all have to think about it.  And hey people with the issues with us... I think you are the ones with the problem.  Get over it.  We are just fine.  At least we've accepted we have an issue and we are getting help for it - What about all your issues?  What don't you get help for that? 

Girls are bitches... and cause problems in marriages... even as kids!

So.... most of us know that women can be bitches, but did you know that little girls are too?  According to an article in the UK's Daily Mail Married Couple's with daughters are more likely to divorce.  Yes, you read that right, if a couple has a daughter, they are more likely to divorce than if they had a son. 

They study was actually done by University of California in San Diego and Berkley with data from more than 3 million adults from the United States census.  Those couples who claimed a first born daughter rather than a first born male were more likely to divorce.  If there were as many as three daughters, the "break up factor" sky rocked 10%. 

Apparently, Psychologists say that daughters might empower mothers to walk out of a bad marriage rather than clinging on, "One dynamic I've seen is that women don't want to put up with a controlling or abusive husband because they're afraid to model this as an acceptable form of marriage to their daughters,’ Susan Heitler, a Denver-based clinical psychologist. 

Fathers are also significantly less likely to be living with their children if they had daughters rather than sons.  In any given year roughly 52,000 first born daughters younger than 12 (and all their siblings) would have a resident father if they had been boys.  Umm, no offense girls, but it's YOUR fault your parents divorced and daddy moved out.  So if you had been a boy, mommy and daddy would have stayed together and the house would have been fine.  What a horrible statistic!  The study also suggested that fathers found the prospect of marriage more attractive if the first born was a boy because the man was more afraid of the son growing up without a male role model. 

The statistics show that daughters are more likely to help mom around the house, while the boys just make more work, and the experts claim that the mother is more likely to leave their husbands because they can rely on social support from their daughters (can we say slave labor).  An overwhelming majority about 73% of divorces are initiated by women. 


Seriously?  So, if you want your marriage to stay together... hope for a first born boy.  If it's a girl give her away... don't keep her!  These statistics are pretty crazy, and sadly make a little sense. 

Makes me pretty glad that even though I was a first born girl, my parents are still together 35+ years later, guess we were one of the lucky ones!

Short Term Relationships are a-ok!

Did you know?...

According to to theawl.com Good news, fellas: Women are much less choosy about who they do sex to than previously thought. Researchers from U.S.C. surveyed the easiest demographic, "asking how  much time and money college students spent in a typical week pursuing short-, intermediate- or long-term relationships. The proportion of mating effort dedicated to short-term mating was the same for men and women. Similarly, both men and women showed an equivalent tendency to lower their standards for sex partners, and men did not report feeling constrained to have far fewer sexual partners than they truly desired." What a great time to be alive!

In stupid people terms, for people - like me... both men and women - at least those of college age, would rather pursue "short" term relationships.  One can only assume that are a couple of wham, bam thank you ma'am's - rather than the long term relationships.  And not only do both sex's prefer these short relationships, they will lower their standards just to have sex, and don't care about how many sex partners they have.  And guess what?  This is a real scientific study from a real school, not just some silly bloging internet site citing some fake data... So feel free, have sex  tonight with whomever you want, USC says it's ok.

Threesome Rules, you can't just jump into bed with three people and expect it to work

So, not everyone agrees with my assessment of the threesome.  Some people want to participate in such a sexual activity.  And who am I to say that some sexual activity is wrong - ok, so I will say SOME are wrong or a little jacked up - but overall, I am pretty damn open and will fully accept and tell you how great most sexual activities are!  But, as great as some say the threesome is - you have to establish a set of rules before you step into the (very crowded) bedroom.  Maybe that's where my issues are.  AskMen has a list of rules, I'll give them a chance, but I'm still not changing my mind - but someone might find this useful - right? 



Threesome Rule #1: Establish the rules:
If you are going to all have this threesome you have to sit down and understand and respect each other's comfort levels when setting the threesome rules, says AskMen.  And because you are likely attending the "event" with a significant other, you need to be absolutely clear on what she's comfortable with and to avoid what she's not (and know this in advance!).  Hell, if you don't establish this BEFORE hand, I would expect this to be your last sexual experience with your woman.  Penetrate when she doesn't want you to penetrate, kiss when she doesn't want you to kiss, and you are going to have one pissed off naked woman.  And not an easy thing to get over.  AskMen says that you must respect her limits and know that in a WMW (woman - male - woman) threesome, the "other" woman can often feel jealous, so you have to ensure that each woman gets enough attention, but ensure that the woman in which you are in a relationship receives the most attention.  All of this adds up to the fact that the man might not be the "star" in the situation.  Ummm.  this is sure a lot of work...  My take on all of this.... threesomes are better when you participate with someone who is not your girlfriend, otherwise, go for two people you aren't really in a relationship with. 

Threesome rule no. 2: Be as giving as you can: AskMen says that while, as a man, the hope is that the two women would be there to please the man 100%, they are also there to please each other (they are also assuming that the girls want to please each other and not just the man.... that is an assumption - the other COULD be the case)... There is always the possibility that one of the three "participants" can be ignored, and the odd man or woman should do their best to get over it.  My take, if you are the odd one out and you should just "get over it"  Really, why are you participating in a threesome anyway?  Why can't the odd one out just find their own sex partner (there are a shit load of people out there who just want sex (check CL!) all you have to do is ask), and just ignore the threesome, then they wouldn't have to worry about being left out.  AskMen says the best way to approach a threesome is to forget your feelings and just be as generous with your hands and mouth as you can, and join in the "cycle" of sex that goes from person to person.  If you are patient, the attention will come back to you.  Hey people, if you just had "conventional sex" between two people, be it homosexual or heterosexual sex, you wouldn't have to worry about being left out, there are only two people, gasp! what a concept!!

Threesome rule no. 3: Keep yourself busy
When the other two participants are "busy" and you have nothing to do, AskMen tells me to keep myself busy, take matters into my own hands and find something to do.  Now, I take offense.  If I'm going to take care of my own business, I don't want to be in bed with someone else!  I'm not into masturbation when I have the tools to not have to masturbate so close by!  I'm not sure how you feel....  But I get the idea when you are in a threesome, there really shouldn't be that kind of lag time, if you aren't actively participating you shouldn't be letting things go soft or dry (as your body is concerned, if you don't know which apply to you - maybe you shouldn't even be considering a threesome....)  Or if you don't want to take care of yourself, AskMen says to just use your wondering hands, there is a lot to touch, feel and all that. 

Threesome rule no. 4: Be careful with penetration
AskMen sites novelist Tom Robbins, and calls penetration "that old show-stopper" and says it forms a serious bond between the man and just one woman, leaving the third woman partner out.  So, the man in a WWM threesome should only penetrate when both women are comfortable with it.  I'm a bit shocked actually by this one.  And AskMen says that even when penetrating one woman, you must also pay attention to the other woman.  Yes, men - you have to concentrate not only on your cock in a vagina, but on a whole other woman too.  Talk about pressure!  And I'm not one to know much about the man's body, but I would assume there could be a lot of build up of pressure if you know what I mean, so watch out for overstimulating, and AskMen agrees, they say that men shouldn't get "over excited" and forget about the other woman involved.  The man must make sure that all three parties are sexually satisfied even if the man achieves climax first - that means he can't quit and take a nap if he cums first... Yes, shocking I know.

Threesome rule no. 5: Be safe
I would have to say this one should go without saying, but maybe I'm safer than most.  This is AskMen's verbiage, and I'm just going to agree and copy... No kidding around.  Safety is serious.  Condoms are a necessity, obviously. Semen, vaginal fluid and menstrual blood transmit STDs, so use one specific hand to pleasure one specific woman and use the other hand on the other woman -- and keep it that way. You must never alternate.Likewise, if you're having intercourse with both women, you must also use a separate condom with each partner. As well, dental dams are a good precaution for oral sex. Lubricate the side that you place against a woman's skin for better sensation.

3 is the magic number.. threesomes.

Threesomes... yes, I'm going there.  No, I've never been involved, but I have been invited (more times than I can count actually). 

It's the holy grail for men, two woman, one man.  All of a sudden the world revolves around him and his member.  All that matters is what goes on between his legs.  So yes, I can understand that.  But you know what I think?  (and if you are reading this, you know I do!) I don't like it, but not probably because of the conventional ways.  I'm jealous, I don't want my man being pleased by another, I want him all to myself, and hell no do I want him working on some other woman while I watch.  And don't tell me that someone is not going to get left out - of course they are.  I don't work with that bull shit.  If I'm going to be in bed with someone, I want to fully concentrate on them, and if there are extra body parts flying around, that's just distracting, and I just can't concentrate.  Damn it, I need to concentrate.  And I've seen men get way too excited about one woman, if there is another one around, that's just not good - I need him to last, and not shoot his load too quickly.  And damn it, I'd be really pissed if I was the odd one out and the guy ended up concentrating on the other girl. 

I might consider (if I was really drunk and then it might not even be that fun) having a threesome with two guys.  But then again, I'm not really a girl who likes other girls.  But ground rules, none of that double penetration crap - they only do that in the porns, and even then it's just gross.  But even then, we are talking to penis's.  I don't even think penis is supposed to be a multiple word it doesn't even look right multiple.  And don't you know you are supposed to hold that thing double fisted?  How do you do that with two pensi in the room?  Again, don't want to leave a man left out, and I wouldn't want the over stimulation.  Although, I might take the double backrub - that might be nice.  So Magnus can rub my back while my man takes care of me.  I like the sound of that. 

And as a side note, I might be the only girl in the world who isn't a huge fan of drunk sex, of course, I might be a wee bit of a control freak and don't like the feeling of letting go of control.  Then again, like everything maybe I'm not doing it right, or with the right person.... or hell, people ;)

Those damn happy couples... what are they doing right (or wrong!)?

So, I'm not in a relationship (duh... if you've didn't know that and have been following this blog - I seriously question your sanity!)  But what about those couples that look happy (or at least appear to be happy on the outside - you can't tell me that all of them seriously just had sex... there are other reasons couples are happy, right?)... ok, so in comes a yahoo/match.com article... 6 Habits that keep couples happy.  It may not be applicable to all you single people (like me), RIGHT now, but damn it.... shouldn't we all know the way to be happy in and out of a relationship... Hint, the answer is yes.  So damn it, keep reading people.

Habit #1: Catch romance where you can
“You may start out with chocolates and roses, but the likelihood of being able to sustain that feeling with a busy schedule is pretty unlikely,” says JoAnn Magdoff, Ph.D., a New York City-based psychotherapist. Apparently, those couples that are successful in the long term (I have an excellent example in my parents - they have been together nearly 35 years and are still extremely happy!) build romance at all times - you know, outside the bedroom, and in what yahoo call's "low impact" ways such as a simple kiss or holding hands.  This makes sense.  Chocolate makes you fat, and flowers die, but saying you love me, or holding my hand or giving me a hug just shows me you love me.  Money is cheap, emotions are real. 

Habit #2: Fight fair

Yahoo says couples must learn how to fight in order to keep the chemistry alive.  If you are constantly cutting each other down it's hard to feel "mutually amorous." Debra Tobias, who has been happily married for almost 10 years to her husband Steve, agrees. “Steve and I have learned to listen to each other when we’re upset and we admit when we’re wrong,” says Tobias. “We also make a rule of never, ever saying ‘I told you so’ no matter how much we might want to say it.”  My "fighting style" is really hard core.  Ya'll should watch out for me if we ever start fighting.  If you are making a huge point, getting really worked up.  I'm liable to make a funny face and crack a joke - usually at my own expense, or maybe at yours.  But all I know is that I can't be serious for very long.  Now, if I get really pissed off, and that's rare - but if I do... you are in trouble.  I don't fight so fair.  So don't fuck up REALLY bad.  Fuck up minor and we'll have a good laugh out of it, because I know I'm going to have a lot of minor fuck ups.  You know, everyone should be able to laugh when they are fighting.  Makes it a lot easier.  There is no point to be one of those couples who are always fighting.  Those are the ones I swear fight just so they can have the makeup sex.  And really, as great as "hate sex" is - making love is so much better (not that I could really describe it to you as it's been years if at all!)

Habit #3: Nurture your separate selves
Oh yeah, take what yahoo calls, little "couple breaks," ie maintain your own hobbies, goals and friends.  If you don't you'll be one boring person and very very lonely and BORED when that person is done with you.  If you spend every waking moment with your partner, then you cut off the relationship - suddenly you have nothing to do, no friends to hang out with.  Yeah - you are lost.  Umm, stupid bitch (or asshole!) it's your own fault!  Don't lose yourself when you get in a relationship.  Personally, I need my own "me" time.  If I dont' get time to myself and some alone time I'm one nasty bitch.  And I'm talking about just in general, I don't have a whole lot of "relationship experience" where I've spent every waking minute with a male partner, they don't want to stay that long with me - hummm, maybe that should tell me something!

Habit #4: Take on a project together
OK, so maintain your own hobbies, but do something together.  Jo Smith and her husband of four years found this out when they committed to running their first 10K together. “We were training together, carbo-loading and hydrating together, running the race together and ultimately succeeding together when we both finished,” says Smith. “It brought a whole new level of closeness to our relationship because of the time we spent learning as a duo during this endeavor.” I might not suggest running a 10K, what's sexy about huffing and puffing and sweating (oh wait, never mind)...  Doing something jointly together helps you feel like you've accomplished something, "as a team!" and brings you closer together.  Bonus points for team you.  Now, personally, if I can find a man that wants me, I have a ton of home improvement projects he can help me with and feel more than his fair share of accomplishment and then I'll feel all my rewards!  Men? Men?  Anyone looking for a woman :)

Habit #5: Don’t let your physical attraction for each other dwindle

“In interviewing people on the topic of physical intimacy, it became clear that the couples who were the most satisfied were also the ones who were open to some experimentation,” says Catlett. This isn’t to say you suddenly have to become a wild thing, though. Even returning to the basics you may have abandoned along the way — lots of kissing and eye contact, for example — can make the usual encounter feel very different… and much more intimate. Men are hot, women are hot....  it's important to keep the physical attraction alive.  I so often hear from men who bitch and complain about their women because they don't want to keep the so called magic alive.  Like I said in my previous post, Hey Bitch, Take care of your Man, women need to stop getting lazy when they are in a relationship and keep the sexiness alive. 

Habit #6: Engage in some mutual admiration
In order for chemistry between two people to thrive, there needs to be mutual respect. “It’s about putting yourself in the role of an observer of your partner,” says Magdoff. “Watch them ‘perform’ — I’m not saying they need to do a song and dance for you — just pay attention to the everyday things that remind you why you find them so special.”  That's what people forget so often.  You are with that person because they are special (right???), can't you appreciate them, can't you like what they do?  Don't be such a negative nelly and bitch about the bad things.  Look at the good and awesome things they do, and tell them.  I know it's hard these days to accept that someone might be better than you in an area (oh, I know **gasp**) but damn it, accept it and tell them.  Appreciate them for all they are and for all you love about them.  If you don't, someone else might swoop in and want them.  Personally, I can't tell you how many guys in relationships I've admired for the shit they do and wanted them myself... And then got extremely pissed off because they women treat them like shit and they follow them around like puppy dogs, and yet here I am alone.  Oh but wait, I'm not complaining at all!  Oh shit.  I better stop now!

Oh no! What now? No more "celibacy" cure.

So, about a month ago I wrote about my journey into celibacy... Yeah, not so exciting - and nothing new to report on that removal of that celibacy...

BUT...

Holy Shit.  This weekend I discovered that one of my large dogs got a hold of my "back massager"  and chewed the cord into a million pieces.  Well, thank god it wasn't plugged in - I think.  But that dog is on probation again.  No one messes with a girl's "back massages" when she's tense from not getting any massages!

Dirty Little Secrets women keep from men

We all keep secrets.  If we didn't we'd all probably hate each other, that's for damn sure.  But what kind of dirty little secrets do women keep from men?  Yes, we do keep secrets and men, you don't want to know.  But I'll tell you - just like I share everything else.  Granted, I took this from an article, so it's not really me - so woman you can't burn ME at the steak!

1. We masturbate: Yes, it's true.  Although, as the article says, "As soon as we are alone in the house—husband leaves for the office, kids go to school, roommate goes out of town—and we have quality free time knowing no one is going to walk in on us, we masturbate." That's not exactly true... I would say, we masturbate pretty regularly, when we need a release and don't really want to work for it.  You know, as much as guys think girls can have sex whenever we want it - you still have to work for it.  Especially single girls - you can't just call someone up and instantly get an organism out of the deal - it really does take some work.  And I gotta tell you, masturbation is pretty much work free - especially if you use a vibration - such as the rabbit shown here.  Turn that sucker on, wait a couple of minutes (if that) and presto, O's to go.  No muss, no fuss. And no having to worry about anything like a man.  Sometimes I wonder why we keep the men around at all.  Oh wait, that whole touching and kissing and hugging thing that is part of sex is pretty damn good.

2.  We like to pee outside... and in the shower... and in the hot tub (but won't out of respect for everyone else in there).... OK, those are all the article's words - NOT mine.  Personally, I much prefer to pee in the bathroom, on the toilet.  I don't know what kind of weirdos were writing this article.

3. We pluck stray hairs from our toes, chin, lips, nipples, etc.  Yes, we pluck, we hate those damn hairs that just grow in weird places.  And we take a strange joy in getting rid of these little hairs.  Yes, if I find an errant hair I will pluck that sucker out and feel good about doing it - even through it hurts like a bitch - you won damn it. 

4.  We smell stuff when we are in love.  Yes, when we love you we smell anything that you were next to - your pillow, your clothes, anything - just to get a whiff of you - but don't catch us because we will feel like retards.  And to go one step more, it doesn't even have to be in love, I will smell for a guy even if I like him, just because I like his smell and it reminds me of him.  So what?  I like smells and if I smell him and it remind me of him it takes me back to that place and time when I was with him!  awww.

5. We wished we could be more open and casual about sex.  I've had my times.  I've been pretty open and casual - but the authors are thinking about a swingers party (umm, maybe watch it - a real live porno!), a threesome (I think I'm way too jealous for that shit, when there are three people, someone is always going to be left out, and I don't like being left out!), or be a dirty stripper for the night (I'm not sure what I've done when I've been really drunk - but I think I've always kept my clothes on - hopefully)

6. We hope deep down our guy friends want to sleep with us and dress and flirt so that they do - we don't want to bone them, but we want them to want us.  Umm, yeah.  Who doesn't want everyone to want us? 

7. We are not insulted by catcalls from construction workers as long as they aren't nasty or rude.  Umm, again.  I often wonder who write these.  They make me a little nervous - especially when I'm walking alone.  Maybe that's because I'm bearly 5 foot and these guys could jump down and pin me again a wall in 5 seconds flat and what could I do?  I can barely reach their balls.

8. We regularly check in on our ex's via facebook, email or texts - as long as we have technology they will never be fully out of our lives.  I will say, I don't regularly check on my ex's - but many of them are facebook friends so I see what they are doing.  I often see what they are up to, but I don't often search them out.  As for the ex's that aren't on facebook - I will search them out maybe once a year to see if they have amounted to anything. The answer is always in the negative.

9. Girls nights are full of embarrassing secrets (related to you), sneaking cigarettes or other substances and lots of drinking.  Girls nights are not the pillow fights and makeup applying you think they are.  Girls nights are nights of debaturay that you'd expect from men. 

10. We fart.  Yes, we have bodily functions.  Take it or leave it. 

A little off topic: Wear Purple Day, Anti-bullying of LGBT! Watch out for their "Gay Music"! ;)

Not that you would have guessed it, but I'm a lover of everyone and everything that do :)  I could care less if you are black, white, blue or yellow, or if you like men, or women.  And lately, the absolutely retarded bullying of gay guys to the point of many of them committing suscide pissed me off.  But, I'm not one to take a real political stance on anything.

So, instead of taking a real stance and giving you my opinion, lets laugh.  Here is a crazy list from a crazy website called "God Hates Fags!"  Automatically, you know the people who run it are off their rocker!  But listen, they have listed a whole shit load of singers/bands who in their words are "particularily gay." 

Again, I can't make this shit up - so quoting directly from their page...

of the most dangerous ways Homosexuality invades family life is through popular music. Parents, please keep careful watch over your children’s listening habits. Especially in this age of Internet mp3 piracy.



There are multiple levels of Gay Music. Some bands are what we like to call Gateway Bands. They lure children in with Pop Grooves and Salacious Melodies leaving them wanting more. They’ll move on to more dangerous bands and the next thing you know you’ve got a homosexual for a child.


We’ve taken the time to highlight the bands that are particularly Gay. Please take the time and dissect your child’s CD / iTunes catalog. If you find 3 or more of these bands in their collection it is time to take action.


We Strongly recommend that you burn the CDs. Make sure your child is watching. Make sure they can feel the heat. It is crucial that the image remains emblazoned in their young minds. They need to know that if they continue to listen to these bands they may Burn eternally as well.

And here is their list of those "bad bands":

Lady Gaga (tricks girls into lesbianism)

Ween (Rainbow)
Lil'Wayne
P!nK (gay family)
The Black Keys
Coldplay
SlipKnot (make-up)
RadioHead
Michael Jackson
Justin Bieber (gay bullying)
Boredoms
School of Seven Bells (gay twins)
Jason Mraz
Jonas Brothers
Rilo Kiley
Death Cab for Cutie
Sarah McLachlan
George Strait
Cold War Kids
Toby Keith (cowboy)
P-Diddy
Black People
Vampire Weekend
King Crimson
Kate Bush (kissed a girl)
Bob Dylan
Fleet Foxes
Sigur Ros (nudists)
Twisted Sister
The Spores (endorse suicide)
Scissor Sisters
Turbonegro
Rufus Wainwright
Merzbau
Ravi Shankar
The Butchies (lizbians)
Wilco
Bjork (mb)
Tech N9ne
Ghostface Killah
Bobby Conn
Morton Subotnik
Cole Porter
The String Cheese Incident
Eagles of Death Metal
Polyphonic Spree
The Faint
Interpol
Twisted Sister (jj)
Tegan and Sara
Erasure
The Grateful Dead (drugs too)
Le Tigre
Marilyn Manson (dark gay)
The Gossip
The Magnetic Fields
The Doors
Phish
Queen
The Strokes
Morrissey(?questionable?)
Metallica
Judas Priest
The Village People
The Secret Handshake
The Rolling Stones
David Bowie
Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Man or Astroman
Richard Cheese
Jay-Z
Depeche Mode
Kansas
Ani DiFranco
Fischerspooner
John Mayer
George Michael (texan)
Angel Eyes
The Indigo Girls
Velvet Underground
Madonna
Elton John
Barry Manilow
Indigo Girls
Melissa Etheridge
Eminmen
Nirvana
Boy George
Jon Brion
The Killers
Lou Reed
Lil' Wayne
Motorhead
Jill Sobule
Wilson Phillips
DMX
Wesley Willis
Lisa Loeb
Ted Nugent (loincloth)
Dogstar
Thirty Seconds to Mars
Lil' Kim
kd lang
Frank Sinatra
Hinder
Nickleback
Justus Kohncke
Bob Mould
Clay Aiken
Arcade Fire
Bright Eyes
Corinne Bailey Rae
Audioslave
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Panic at the Disco
The Cure (makeup)
Spin Doctors
The Deers
Lindsey Lohan
The Smiths
Beck
Tom Waits
The Cramps
Cannibal Corpse
Britney Spears(kissed Madonna)
Perfect Sin
The Queers
NoFx(gay punk)
Soup Dragons
Elton John(really gay)

I'm freezing, he's hot.

As I sit here today literally freezing cold in the office I'm thinking about how girls are always so much colder than guys.  It's so true.  All the girls in the office literally have their jackets on today, many have been covering up with blankets in their offices (space heaters are a fire hazard you know!)  And sadly, the temp is only 58 degrees outside - it's not even close to being freezing out yet and it's only October.  Now, I can say there are some men that are cold today as well, but usually it's the guys that are making fun of us women for being too cold. 

Personally, I've consumed 3 huge mugs of tea, and I'm currently on my fourth in an attempt to warm up.  I'm wearing a jacket and sitting cross legged in my chair (I'm still cold).  I've considered going home JUST to warm up - but then I'd have to go outside in the misting rain and that just may make it worse.  I'm not usually such a baby, but today I am.

So what's this about women always being so much colder than men?  I'd like to blame it on us being thinner and having less "padding."  But personally, I'm not so lucky.  I have more than enough padding an insulation to keep 2-3 people warm.  So no luck there!  I did a quick internet search and someone presented the idea that men wear more substantial clothing.  Yeah, that would be applicable if he was wearing a suit.  But today I have on dress pants a turtle neck and a fleece jacket.  Most of the guys around here are sporting pants, and a long sleeve shirt - I think I win this one too.  Maybe I'm just cold blooded.

I have some great soup recipes - you know chili and a french onion.  If only I weren't so lazy to cook for myself. 

Jesus wants me.

So, as you know, I love me some Craig's List.  So, Saturday night I got a little bored and write a little post saying I was lonely and wanted to chat.  The response I got was priceless.  Now, I was holding on to this one as my own little personal joke, and I didn't really want to share this one with the masses, but I've been begged to by some friends.  So here goes....

** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html


Hi there!!!
I like your ad, it's honest and real. I don't understand why your posts were flagged. Ok, bad days are over :-) we're looking the same things and that makes us a perfect couple. Well, at least I hope so.


I'm 33 yo, single (never been married), professional, open-mind, funny, a little crazy (but not insane), living in Reston Town Center. I like this place and my condo is 3 minutes away from the office. This is McAfee's office -- the company I'm working for. It's a security company and they brought me from oversea to work on a very interesting research project (I'm kind of a scientist -- sounds terrible, but to tell you truth -- I'm a normal guy and I'm not as smart as I look like, but it's a secret, please don't tell it to anybody, because my
company pays me well not due to the job, I'm doing, but because they _think_ I'm doing the smartest part of the job).

I like to walk around, watch sunsets (and sometimes sunrises), I like to travel and I'm traveling a lot, I just like our world and enjoy every moment of my life. What I want is a soulmate to share my life with. I would be a brick wall, and you would be a fireplace and I would protect you from strong winds of life. What I want is to care about you, make you happy, make you smiling. This is what I'm looking for... does it sound like a dream? Could it be real?

Regards,

xxx

Manscaping and Grooming, it's not just for Metrosexuals.

So, I've dropped a couple hundred on getting laser hair removal (yes, just getting my arm pits lasered cost $500 and that's was a good deal - but let me tell you it's 100% worth it.  Yes, you might have groaned for me providing too much information - but if this is the first time you've groaned, you obviously haven't read this blog enough.  Anyway, I wanted to start with the laser on something small, but now that I am highly impressed I would like to laser something bigger - say a bikini line...)

Anyway, with this, I've been thinking about the importance of taking care of one's appearance.  Not just for me as a woman - but for men as well.  And when I saw an article on askmen.com about Instant Grooming Turnoffs, I had to write my opinions. 

1. Body odor...  Ask Men says that women have a more sensitive sense of smell than men.  I don't know if that is the case, but I will tell you that I can smell some bad body odor from practically feet away.  If you, as a man have some of that bad B.O. don't expect me to stick around.  In fact, expect me to make up some excuse to take off and not stay the whole date.  Yeah, sorry.  I can't stand smells - my head reacts badly to them and I get headaches.  Besides, B.O. is the worse.  AskMen suggests Gillette's Odor Shield line - which has a body wash, long-lasting deodorant and a heavy-duty, clinical strength antiperspirant for men who break into a sweat easily.  I will tell you that i have no problem if you sweat, as long as you don't smell, and I don't have an issue if you have just worked out, etc.  But on a regular basis there is a major difference.  And note, if you have BO, don't try to cover it up by bathing in cologne, that just makes it worse!

2. Ear and nose hair.  AskMen says that ear or nose hair reminds women of their grandfathers which is an obvious turnoff.  Plus not dealing with ear and nose hair shows a lack of respect to your own personal grooming.  Now, personally... ear and nose hair isn't the top of my list, but you should also be aware of what is going on there.  I can forgive one hair - but multiples.. yeah, just keep walking.  There are lots of solutions - nose hair trimmers are readily accessible, and plucking is very easy (pain only lasts a second or two.)

3. Back hair.  AskMen says that back hair is a huge disappointment, and if the amount of hair you have on your back is comparable to the amount of hair you have on your chest you should take care of it.  I would agree, but I can't say it's a serious grooming issue unless you have a massive amount of back hair.  Maybe I just say that because I haven't encountered a boy with so much back hair that I was grossed out enough - although I do know a couple of older men who have enough back hair that I really wonder how their women even touch them.  I would recommend the laser to them - even if they had to take out a second mortgage on their home to afford it. 

4. Dandruff.  AskMen says that women are really turned off if they run their fingers through your hair and flakes fall out.  Humm.  As long as we aren't talking about SERIOUS flakes here I don't care.  But if it falls out like snow, you better worry about it.

5.  Yellow/bad teeth: AskMen says a mouth full a crooked, discolored teeth is a huge turnoff.  Yes.  Bad teeth is very bad.  Very bad.  Bad teeth makes me want to run away.  I understand a little bit of crooked - I had braces for 9 years and I still have a huge gap in front of my front teeth - my teeth just don't want to be together.  But yellow, gross bad teeth is bad. 

6.  Dirty nails: AskMen says that no woman wants to imagine a man's dirty nails on her.  Just wash your hands.  There is nothing wrong with getting a manicure - seriously... I know men that have complained about the idea of a manicure up and down a million times over - they got one one time for some reason. Now, they get this manicure and they understand the true reason behind it!

That's what she said...

Yes, THAT phrase.  That overused phrase.  I don't like it.  I don't like it at all.  I literally groan (and not in a good way!) when I hear people (and mostly men) say it.

I don't like catch phrases, I never do.  But this one particularly bugs me - it's like scraping nails on a chalkboard. 

So boys, please stop it.  Don't do it.  Use something original.  That's all I beg of you. I don't ask much (well all that often - ok then again, I do ask a lot - ok, just suck it up... just don't use - That's what she said, and we'll be ok.)

Now back to your regularly scheduled program. 

Worst Cities for Dating

So, this week I wrote a blog about an article I saw about the best cities for singles.  So, here is one about the worst cities for dating.  I like to cover both sides if I can.  I'm an equal opportunity bitcher and hater.  And hey, I will give you credit if it's due - but that's not often - lets be serious!!

So, here we go... the worst cities for dating, according to Marie Claire magazine, and since they use short examples, I'll quote them and then give my two cents - because god knows I'm going to give that!

1. Austin, Texas. 

MYTH: It's all fun, no commitment in this town of artsy, partying Peter Pans.
BUSTED: Try another bar. More men (50 percent) than women (47 percent) have tied the knot in Austin.
OPINION: Umm, really?  Austin was #10 on the list for best cities for singles (and I think their #10 was the best...)  Sometimes I wonder where people come up with this shit.  So?  Which one is it?  Is Austin good for singles or not?  My impression of Austin (and yes I have been there - although it has been years) is that it is a young town of a lot of "free thinkers" and when I think of free thinkers I don't think of the marrying type - at least right away.  Austin is also the type of place that attracts people who are looking to be artsy fartsy (like Marie Claire said - it's like a real person this Marie!), and these hippy type like to be all free love and sex... right?

2. Boston, Mass

MYTH: Beantown boys get hitched before 30 — that is, if they're not too busy obsessing over their beloved sports teams.
BUSTED: About 39 percent of Boston men have never been married, and the average age a guy gets married is 30, one of the oldest in the country.
OPINION: And again, a repeat of the "best" list.  Interesting.  Although, living in DC I definitely see and meet people from all over - and those Boston boys are obsessed with their sports - now I'm not sure if that prevents them from getting married, but that's an interesting concept.  But 39% of the men have never been married - that's pretty damn high.  You might want to steer clear if you are looking to get hitched! 

3. Chicago, IL

MYTH: Guys travel in fratty packs that can't be infiltrated.
BUSTED: Chicago guys like their buds. But when they finally ask you out, they mean business — they marry at 29, families make up 66 percent of the population, and the divorce rate is well below the national average.
OPINION: Chicago is a midwestern city.  The guys there come from the neighboring farm communities - Michigan, Illinois, Iowa, Ohio - they grow them good up there on the farms!  Once they decide they are ready to marry they go for it, I've seen many friends from back home do it.  Although, I'm not sure about the divorce rate, I know some friends who are divorced already....

4. Los Angeles, CA

MYTH: L.A. men are all about "the business" and just want the perfect piece of arm candy to accompany them to the next premiere.
BUSTED: Fewer than 10 percent of L.A. residents work in the entertainment industry, and plenty would rather have a real girl than a Botox babe.
OPINION: I don't know anything about LA.  I don't care to know anything about LA.  It's too crazy out there.  If someone wants to move out to LaLa Land, have at it.  My assumption is that everyone out there is involved somehow in the entertainment industry or in a job related to it.  So the fact that fewer than 10% is involved makes me feel like a dumbass.  So my opinion is that I'm stupid when it comes to LA.  Sorry.

5. New York, NY

MYTH: With a million more unattached women than men, single gals are on a subway ride to Spinsterville.
BUSTED: Single women do outnumber men in the tristate area, but the gap is closer to 200,000. Maybe not the best odds, but not insurmountable.
OPINION: Another double.  So, it's easier to date in NYC than they say?  Or is it a worst city?  This list is confusing!  Are they saying that the list is the cities that are thought to be the worst, but maybe aren't?  Yeah, I'm confused.  Anyway, so there are 200,000 more single women than men in NYC?  Did we take into account the gay population?  That might really skew those results - RECOUNT! 

6. Seattle, WA

MYTH: The reticent techies would rather worship their iPhones than the cute girl at the bar.
BUSTED: Seattle is "the computer-assisted dating capital of the U.S." So quit moaning and download some dating apps.
OPINION: Double alert!  I would think that Seattle is a hotbed for dating.  Nerd are awesome to date, and there are a ton of them up there in Seattle right?  So, what's the problem?  So what if they hide behind their computer (so do I - and I've been told I'm not bad to look at!), some of the best (and richest) guys don't have the best social skills. 

7. San Francisco, CA

MYTH: With multiple online dating accounts, Bay Area boys are hunting for an elusive, algorithmically endorsed soul mate.
BUSTED: Yes, the city has one of the highest percentage of online daters in the country, but Bay Area men can commit — nearly half have walked down the aisle.
OPINION: So, San Fran can commit... to what? Alcatraz? 

So, I thought this list would have something new - let me tell you - I often pull these articles based on their title and then I actually write and blog as I read it - that way you can get my gut based reaction - it's more fun that way!  Now, this article wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be - nor was it anything important or earth shattering.  But enjoy my opinions for what they are. 

The Fake Engagement Ring for Women: Ms. Taken!

So, I've talked about men wearing wedding rings before and how it's a bit of a turn on for women.  But the same isn't the case for men - women wearing an engagement ring or a wedding band isn't a turn on.  I've heard of women in the past buying fake diamond rings to wear if they don't want that unwanted attention at a bar, club, etc.  But little did I know there is a cottage industry popping up catering to this very need (I should have known better - you can find anything on the internet - it's not just for porn and email anymore!)

In comes the website and company called - Ms Taken (nice pun!).  The website offers the following (and only the following (there must be a real market for this!):

Polished to a perfect shine, this 2-carat Australian crystal is set in a simple stainless steel band. It starts as a size 7, which your jeweler can easily adjust for you. The classic, simple, elegant design pairs perfectly with any style – and no one will guess that it isn't a genuine diamond.

The website promises that the Ms. Taken ring is perfect in all situations and allows you to discourage any unwanted suitors in any unwanted situations.  But unlike any of the cheap imitators, the Ms. Taken ring comes with a special Key Chain FOB that allows you to slip off the ring quickly (in case you see or meet a suitor you are possibly interested in) and "hide" your ring - which is important to hide your true self.  Or conversely, you can keep your Ms. Taken ring on hand at all times and if needed you can pull it on and slip it on to prevent unwanted advances.  God forbid you actually tell someone you aren't interested...

So if you want to hide from unwanted suitors.  Pull out your credit card, order the mistaken ring - it will only cost you $29.99 (shipping is free!) and the key FOB is included.  But order now and you get a special set of the Playaz cards to review to make sure you know who you should avoid (and who you should use the Ms. Taken ring to avoid!)  But what's $30 for a piece of mind?

But note to all those women out there getting engaged, make sure your future husband to be didn't buy your really beautiful engagement ring on the internet and it's a lovely 2 carat round cut set in a white gold or platinum - you might want to take that shit to the jewer and make sure it's not a "fake engagement ring" meant to trick men and not trick you!

Bachelor Reserve releases 500K single men!

You can't help but laugh at The Onion.  I came across an article today - according to the Onion, President Obama is releasing 500,000 bachelors from the U.S strategic bachelor reserve to meet the increasing complaint that there are "no good men out there." 

Apparently, there are many "self-sufficient, professional women who are tired of playing games," who are looking for single men who are "smart but don't spend all their time on the Internet."  Expert, Geraladine Costa of the Association Of Professional Women thinks the "release" is unnecessary, citing that we should be using the men we already have.  and that we should be turning the "assholes, slobs" and "men who need mothers, not girlfriends" who already crowd the dating scene into desirable husbands. The men are being sent all over the world. 

I have to laugh about a release of single men.  It's like they grew them in a farm and release them when they are ready.  And ready only means that they are good enough for the good women.  There is some woman in a lab coat with a checklist - her hair in a tight bun and glasses dropped down on the bridge of her nose and interviewing the man until he is ready to go on the bus out to the "real world" and be released into the public... Wait, this isn't such a bad idea.  Maybe there should be a checklist before a man is allowed to date!

Strange Craig's List Ad of the Day - Looking for a Woman with a BIG Dog...

It's been awhile since I've stumbled across a Craig's List ad that has really dumbfounded me.  But today, This one really made me go ... ummmm (and not in a good way).  Read, and I shall discuss:

Wanted: Professional with a BIG Dog - 48 (Burke)

Divorced, with an undergraduate degree in engineering and a couple of masters degrees; 20-years military officer including living in Russia and Iraq


After spending time in Abu Ghuraib prison with 5,000 of my closest Muslim friends I really appreciate women that take showers.

The last woman (a U.S. Marshal) that lived with me would wake me up at 4:30 to paddle her canoe across the Potomac for coffee in Georgetown. Her teenage daughter eventually moved in from a room in the back of an airplane hangar in the Nevada desert while she traveled to Paris with her boyfriend. Unfortunately, eventually they all moved to Kansas taking their blue healer with them while the coal mine owner's daughter that had bought the Chateau with me fell in love with a drunk mormon unsure of his sexuality. Then my chocolate lab died of a kidney and penis infection a couple months later while staying with a farrier friend in Middleburg.

Currently, while two neighbors have chocolate labs and two have golden retrievers it's not the same as having a big high energy dog in the house. Unfortunately, with travel for work, two teenage sons involved in Eagle Scouts and varsity sports (living with the x in McLean); and equestrian activities I don't have time to properly take care of a dog full time.

If you work hard, and play even harder, are clean and organized, and need an inexpensive place to shack up instead of spending a fortune on a sterile apartment with your hound please reply. There's plenty of room amongst the motorcycle, road and dirt bikes, rock climbing gear, chain saws, and 220vac air compressor for girly stuff.

I've got a couple extra rooms in my house, a big deck under trees, cool neighbors, jogging and biking trails galore, a Starbucks and Golds Gym a couple blocks away, a hot tub (haven't used it in years) for $500/month + 1/3 electric bill. If you know what LEO and IC stand for, all the better.

OK.  first, this is an post in the PERSONALS section, but more specifically in the man for woman, long term relationships.  Is this man advertising for a roommate or a relationship?  My gut reaction is that he is advertising for a woman due to the nature of the ad and where it is posted, but then I get to the last paragraph and the fact that he is charging for the room.  Also the fact that he boarded (humm, no pun intended!) a mother and a daughter - and I don't get the feel that he was saying that to be really dirty!.

And is this guy trying to be witty or is he just that, not funny?  I get being not funny - I am not funny myself.  I often say it's a good thing that I crack myself up because I don't make other people laugh, but these guys jokes cannot even possibly make him laugh!  And is he boarding women in a brothel like setting or is it a hotel or just misguided women?  Just strange? 

And what's his obsession with women (and men) and people in general smelling?  I get it people in Abu Ghuraib didn't shower - we didn't really let them have any thing, but do you have to mention other people smelling?  Do you have a smelling fetish dude? 

And what's the thing about dogs?  After meeting guys who had, what we shall call a very "special" dog fetish, when I see a title such as yours I have to wonder why exactly you are looking for a woman with a BIG dog. 

But hey dude, I wish you the best of luck.  I just think you are strange, but then again - Craig's List is full of strange people who just don't fit the norm so maybe you've come to the best place! 

Cities for Single Women...

No matter where you are and where you live - someone is going to bitch about how hard it is to date.  Someone is going to say how easy it is to meet people.  But there has to be someone telling us - objectively - what is the best place to find people!  Right? 

Right... In comes Lemondrop... which I had to investigate is a site belonging to AOL - so they might have some factual evidence (but I'm not holding my breath).  You know stuff on the Internet is only as good as about as far as you can throw a laptop.  But at least it's fun to think about (and write about for me!).   But apparently the actual data comes from another third party website called, SingleMindedWomen and their feature on The Top 10 Cities for the Unhitched.  They took into account all kinds of fun data including cost of living and rate of unemployment to which cities had a more favorable girl-boy breakdown. 

So, what are the Top 10 Cities for Single Women (I guess we really aren't considering men here - and I'm not keeping the men out of the equation here!  I just didn't see an article  on the cities for men - I apologize.  If I see one... I will right about it for you!)

NUMBER 10: Austin, Texas: Citing lakes, lovely men (not sure men want to be known as "lovely), and live music - Austin Texas gets the #10 spot on the list.  Interestingly the median age in Austin is 29 - younger than NYC, DC, Seattle or Pittsburgh.  A median age of 29 is pretty unbelievable - there has to be a TON of younger people there!  And even more interesting is that 35% of the population is single and looking (higher than any of the other cities on the "list."  Ohh, and wait, bonus for the womanfolk (I'm trying to use a little Western/Texan slang here!) men outnumber women, so it's easier to find those single men... I'm thinking about moving - I have family there! 

NUMBER 9: Washington D.C.: I could have told them this.  DC is full of single people.  Our unemployment rate is extremely low, the lowest on the list of cities - mostly because the Government is always hiring.  (apparently the Office of Personnel Management (OPM)  predicts that 60% of the current federal workforce will retire in the next decade and require new "young" hires in the area!)   33% of the population is single and "looking."   Although, I have to caution that people don't stay in the DC area very long (usually a tenure of 2-3 years and then move on - so if you want a relationship you better expect a short term one.

NUMBER 8: New York: SingleMinded's home is NYC, so they have to sing the praises of their NYC.  I will have to refer to them for their assessment.  And I will have to tell you, that my singular adventure in NYC was not what I would call pleasurable, although it was just a job interview.  NYC is just too big for me.  So, according to SingleMinded,

"We may take issue with this city being on SingleMinded's list, but having played the field, we can also give you an honest assessment. Rent is expensive, but jobs are plentiful, and since Wall Street went belly-up, apartment prices have gone down. As SingleMinded points out, there's no better city for shopping. And, like "Sex and the City" exemplified, that's true even if the commodity is men. Better yet, the happy hour and brunch scenes are both hopping, and since everyone puts their careers before marriage, there are plenty of single people to carouse with. Where to hunt: Meet-up.com networking events for new tech start-ups. According to New York magazine, NYC is the new Silicon Valley."

NUMBER 7: Seattle: Seattle has a history has an outdoorsy town with a sense of adventure.  I think of the outdoorsy type.  You know the granola girls who like to hike, drink their coffee and wear their flannels.  But it's not all the outdoorsy type, Seattle actually also has quite a number of technology firms - so these are just just the outdoorsy bonehead types - they are actually pretty smart too!  And, the cost of living is 20% cheaper than NYC (BONUS!!), much prettier, and just as many eligible men as women (double bonus - fewer competition!).   OK, Seattle is sounding pretty decent.

 NUMBER 6: Philadelphia: OK, damn... here is a single factoid for you... 44% CHEAPER than NYC.  That's enough to make you move right there - besides the fact that the show, Parking Wars was founded there...  And there are a ton of different things to visit within a couple of hours - the Jersey Shore (Snookie, the Situation, hell yeah!), the Poconos, even the history of DC).  And there are only slightly more women than men - so just a little bit of competition (so if you are decent you can work through it!)  I gotta say, Philly wouldn't be one of my first choices of places to live - but it could be decent. 

NUMBER 5: Phoenix: Ugh, too damn hot.  I'm not moving there.  But I'll look at it.  But apparently people are attracted by the four professional sports teams, and a downtown with cute boutiques (although I'm definitely not into southwestern jewelry and turquoise - but hey if you like that shit).  But if you like skiing and snowboarding - it's not too far away if you can get out of the desert.  But believe it or not the unemployment rate is low and the rate of single men to single men is equal so no competition.... 

NUMBER: 4. Denver: I like Denver.  And while people think it's all snowy all the time - it's really not.  The mountains provide a bit of shelter for the city and the snowfall is pretty mild and the winters are mild as well.  The views are amazing and from nearly EVERY place in the city.  Although, if you move to Denver, you have to be outdoorsy - just like Seattle.  People take their outdoorsy shit seriously here.  You have to love hiking, skiing, etc.  And if you don't like your organic food, don't even apply.  But, there is a very high unemployment rate (note, Denver has the second highest rate of federal jobs - do we see a pattern here?)

NUMBER 3: Pittsburgh:   Really, Pennsylvania... TWO cities on the list.  That's kind of strange.  But lets be serious PA is cheap.  Pittsburgh is half the price as NYC and that in it's own is worth moving there.  Apparently, there is a lot of what they call smarty pants because both University of Pittsburgh and Carnegie Melon" are there. 

NUMBER 2: Dallas: Everything is bigger in Texas.  Including the number of single men.  In 2007, there were roughly 40,000 more single men than women in Dallas, note, that if you were a woman and couldn't get laid or a man - you were either butt ugly, had a problem or were a lesbian!  And Dallas actually has culture - 6 performing arts centers and an opera house (and it's not a country opera house - although that might be interesting!).  And a low cost of living!  If I could stand Texans and hot summers I might go. 

NUMBER 1: Boston: I like Boston.  But I don't like driving there.  Who am I kidding?  I don't like driving anywhere.  The unemployment rate in Boston averages 2 points lower than the US average and Boston's cost of living ranks below NYC, DC and even Seattle.  (and I thought Boston was extremely expensive - this is good to know!)  Women do outnumber men - but just slightly 52% to 48%, so it's manageable.  But it is a little worrisome that 1/3 of the population is single.  You have to wonder why they are single! 

Sex Study.

I just like the sound of the phrase - sex study.  It makes me think of a bunch of people in a sterile room having sex on cots - all in missionary position of course, with a bunch of doctor and nurse types in white coats takes notes.  It really makes me laugh. 

Now, I'm sure that's not what the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB) did when they completed the largest nationally represented study (5,865 adolescents and adults ages 14 to 94) of sexual and sexual-health behaviors test (though I'm sure some of them wish they did! But they could never admit it considering they are fancy PhD's from Indiana University...)  The study provided an updated view of the modern Americans view and current sexual behaviors including a description of more than 40 combinations of sexual acts that people perform during sexual acts (does this include illustrations - because I could use a little addition to my repertoire!), patterns of condom use by both adolescents and adults, and the percentage of Americans taking place in same-sex acts and relationships. 

So, findings were published on 1 October in a "Special Issue" of the The Journal of Sexual Medicine - one of those fancy magazines that has a limited publication and an even more limited readership to just those people in the medical field. 

Interesting findings in the study were as follows:

* In 1 in 4 acts (25%) of vaginal intercourse (think penis insert into vagina) the man wraps his cock.  (but for it's slightly higher singles, this is only 1 in 3 - 33%.  Believe it or not, this means that condoms are being used more frequently than in the past in some groups...  I'm seriously SHOCKED.  Do people realize how much crap there is out there, and DOWN there?  I gotta tell you, there is too much crap that you can catch - man or woman that you better wrap that shit before you are entering me.  If you aren't, you better keep on walking.  I can't believe the percentage is THAT low.  I can understand for married couples - but for singles?  Really?  Even in a committed relationship people stray... Yeah, until I have a guy committed and ready and willing to take on all the responsibilities he's not going to go without.    The study also shows that these condoms are used twice as often with casual partners than are with relationship partners - and that is consistent with both men and women and also consistent across age groups ranging 50 years.  All I can say is thank god.

* The study/survey also says that while there is an "enormous variability in the sexual repertoire" of U.S. adults (umm, good... if there was just one way it would be very boring! and there wouldn't be a whole lot of reason to just have sex)... But  the study shows that men and women rarely engage in just one sex act when they engage in sex.  (humm - what does that mean? Ohh but I will tell you!)  Vaginal sex is #1, but many"sexual events" do not include intercourse and only include partnered masturbation or oral sex (ok, these technical and scientific terms are making me giggle!)

* Additional key findings highlighted in the collection of papers include:

• There is enormous variability in the sexual repertoires of U.S. adults, with more than 40 combinations of sexual activity described at adults’ most recent sexual event.
• Many older adults continue to have active pleasurable sex lives, (see, see... I told you - the little blue pill is a miracle!!!) reporting a range of different behaviors and partner types, however adults over the age of 40 have the lowest rates of condom use. Although these individuals may not be as concerned about pregnancy, this suggests the need to enhance education efforts for older individuals regarding STI risks and prevention.
• About 85% of men report that their partner had an orgasm at the most recent sexual event; this compares to the 64% of women who report having had an orgasm at their most recent sexual event (Can we account for how many women FAKE IT). (A difference that is too large to be accounted for by some of the men having had male partners at their most recent event.)
• Men are more likely to orgasm when sex includes vaginal intercourse; women are more likely to orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts and when oral sex or vaginal intercourse is included.
• While about 7% of adult women and 8% of men identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual, the proportion of individuals in the U.S. who have had same-gender sexual interactions at some point in their lives is higher.
• At any given point in time, most U.S. adolescents are not engaging in partnered sexual behavior. While 40% of 17 year-old males reported vaginal intercourse in the past year, only 27% reported the same in the past 90 days (Bullshit, they just didn't want to admit it!!!).
• Adults using a condom for intercourse were just as likely to rate the sexual extent positively in terms of arousal, pleasure and orgasm than when having intercourse without one.

Periodic Table of Swearing.

I feel very strongly about vocabulary.  Although, I have to admit that I'm not as strong in the so called "academic" vocabulary as I would like.  But when it comes to the curse words - I'm an A+.  So when I came across the "Periodic Table of Swearing" today, I was highly excited.  (So yeah, I have a lot of dork in me... I can't help it). 

Enjoy! And use freely and as much as possible.  And if you want,  you can order it at the link above (although it's a website from England so it might be a tad pricey) I suggest you just steal the image, Shhh, I'll never tell! 

** Hint, double click on the image to make it bigger so you can actually read it... it's worth it **

Boxers or Briefs...

I really can't believe I've been writing this blog for so long and can't believe I haven't touched on this topic of boxers or briefs (on men of course!!!)

Men's underwear...  Yes, men are hot - I love them.  I can't help it.  And you know - what men wear under their pants can make them even hotter or even notter! 

Boxers
Boxers can be good or bad.  And we are talking very very bad.  Now, personally I don't get why a man would want to wear boxers with that type of equipment.  I would think there would be too much "movement" and that would drive me a little nuts (pun intended - accidental).  But since I don't have that equipment, I will leave that choice up to the men who I hope will be in my life.  So... boxers.  I would have to say they are good as long as they are of the "classier" variety - think plaid, dotted, prints that are "grown" up, or solid.  Bad boxers are easy to spot - cartoons, silk (ugh!), and the ones that are considered "novelty."  Remember, you are a GROWN UP.  When we pull off your jeans and see boxers that have Homer Simpson on them I'm not all that impressed - in fact it's quite the opposite... I think quite the opposite.  I want you to grow up...  and I don't think that's hot. 

Briefs
Tighty whities... Yikes.  When I pull down a guy's pants and see the ol' tighty whities, I have a silent gasp.  I think prepubescent.  Yes, I can't help it.  All I see is a little kid standing in his little white underwear saying, "Mommy!"  It's not sexy at all.  Besides, those white little pieces of cloth get so dirty if you know what I mean - and if you have dirty underwear - even if it's just a little dingy - ewwww.  And yes, let me tell you... even if a girl is hot and wants to rip your clothes off - she's still aware of everything that is going on (unlike some guys who I swear don't even know if I'm wearing a bra and underwear some days - I wonder if even wearing cute underwear is worth it!).  If your tighty whities aren't so whitey.... UGH.  She sure is going to think twice about going down on you dude.  My suggestion - keep the briefs reserved for the gym - I understand that you want to keep yourself all bound and gagged for lifting weights - I get that (we wear sports bras!  But we also don't wear sports bras when we are going to fuck you silly - so leave the briefs at home please!)

Boxer Briefs

oh yeah...  I love them.  The best of both worlds.  The little bit of roominess of boxers, but the little bit of tightness of the briefs.  And the leg bands that wrap around the thigh and if the thigh is a muscular - that's hot....  Of course that all comes from my weakness that I have for soccer players and their muscular thighs!  I have to say that the boxer briefs are my favorite mostly because they make the most guys happy and I like that they keep all the manly parts locked and loaded.  I don't like things sticking out and greeting me before I want them to.  Then when I want to say hi - Hello!  And then we can have fun!

Thongs
No.  Do I need to say anymore?  Just no.