Responses to Personals ads and Postings. Zero for Seven this week!

Dating online is a minefield - and as I've learned quite a crap shoot.  Sometimes I really feel like I'm just throwing a handful of rocks into a crowd and just hoping I hit someone, and hoping they will turn around and hope that they will know it was me that threw it.  And then after ALL that, you just hope they come over and talk to you.  Then there is the small chance that they will actually be "happy" that you hit them and say hi and not just try to beat you up.   Online dating is much like that. 

Every site has it's own way of contacting people.  Basically there are three ways... Usually an "instant message", an email option, and often a "wink" or passive aggressive option for you to tell the guy/girl you like him/her without really putting anything out there.  Every way of contact has it's place - although the "wink" is definitely not preferred and is often ignored, as it is very passive aggressive and definitely doesn't show any thought or real interest behind the response.  I'm also not a huge fan of the instant message as a way of first contact.  I find it too hard to have a "small talk" conversation - especially based on someone's profile.  I almost feel like you are questioning them based on a an private investigation.  I prefer to read the profile, but then get to know them organically.  Yes, you will know details about them from their profile, but use them as a jumping off point.

So... those emails/messages/notes that you send.  I used to spend a long time really thinking about what to write - slaving over my computer for a long time trying to be serious, but not too serious, clever, witty, funny, and coy.  I wanted to craft the person note.  I would hit take a deep breath and hit send (and embarrassingly, often I would copy and paste it into a word document just in case the stupid platform of the dating site decided to fuck up and I lost it all!).  Then I would wait, and wait, and wait.  Often obsessively checking back at the site to see if anything has been returned to me. 

Often my waiting would never end.  Yes, those well thought out emails would never garner responses.  Yes, all that time wasted.  Yes, it would piss me off, maybe not piss me off - more make me sad.  Talk about rejection.  Rejection taken to a whole new level - Cyber rejection! 

So I began to write quick emails.  I would take a small little tid bit from someone's post/ad/whatever.  Just tonight, a guy had a great screenname.  So I wrote him a quick note telling him his screen name was funny.  That's it. 

Now I wait.  I would say that fewer than 25% of my emails/notes/blah get responses.  And that's infuriating.  In the last 7 days I've written 7 notes to 7 different guys.  How many responses?  Drum Roll Please.... ZERO response.  Now, I might be barking up the wrong tree... I like my guys of a high caliber.  I'm probably a 6/7 and I like my guys a solid 8.  I don't there is anything wrong with dating up.  But damn, I'm batting .000.  (And I do have my blog linked on the page - you'd think if they read it they'd like me more!!) 

Now, what I think is that there should be a "Thanks, but no thanks" polite response.  Unless, the email is obviously totally inappropriate (and oh, I get those a lot!) I try to be polite.  But apparently those men are not.  They just don't don't respond at all.